Love my MIL! (yeah, I said it!)

Davesgrl2011 · April 2012

I am lucky (after reading some of your posts!) that my MIL happens to live 1200 miles away and is basically uninterested in the lives of her children.

Quick background- my DH and I have been having heated discussions about the rest of his family (FIL, BIL, SIL, grandparents, family friends) coming up (they live in Manhattan, we are in Upstate NY) for the birth of LO. I really really wanted some time alone with the baby and since I really don't know these people at all (rarely see them) I was going to be put into the position of having to stay in the bedroom by myself, trying to nurse, trying to rest, while DH entertains his family in my tiny living room. I told my DH that I was not comfortable enough around them to be in my jammies looking like crap, feeling like crap, hormonal, tired, you know. Originally my DH had promised to give me ONE FREAKIN DAY (the day we come home) but then FIL decided it "wasn't fair" that my family got to see LO first, so he wanted to be notified the moment I go into labor so they can get up here ASAP and completely take over my birth experience and getting to know my baby (FIL is a total busy body who can't stand to be left out of anything). This has caused quite a few fights between DH and me, and I had just about decided to camp out with LO at my moms and just let them have the apartment since pleasing his family was more important than pleasing his wife.

Anyways- MIL calls last night and DH puts her on speaker so we can both talk to her. MIL starts telling me about how horrible her "baby blues" were after DH was born. Why? Because when she came home from the hospital her apartment was FILLED with her DH (my FIL's) friends and relatives! She had the EXACT same experience I am trying to avoid. She said she was miserable, couldn't rest, was always having someone taking the baby after she had just gotten him to sleep, etc. She said to my DH that the only people who should be at our apartment is US and maybe my mom. She also told DH that this time was about what I wanted, not what he wanted, and not what family wants. I was actually crying by the time we were off the phone because she said exactly what I have been trying to get my DH to understand. And the best part was is that it was completely unprovoked. She had no idea that my DH was going to do the same thing to me. She said that she never really got over having that special time stolen from her, and made DH promise not to do it to me.

Then she asked me how much weight I gained lol.

WhitMN24 · April 2012

Go, MIL...except for the weight thing. But, seriously, had there been nothing negative to say about her, some people might not even believe this MIL could even be real.

I love my MIL, too. Glad you've got someone speaking up for you. I'd be really ticked that DH wasn't listening to me.

Stephanie0905 · April 2012

I read all of these posts on in laws and parents visiting and I am so happy that both my family and my husband's live 20 mins away from us and 10 mins away from the hospital. I can't imagine going through week long visitors with the new baby. Good Luck to you!

jillane513 · April 2012

That's wonderful, I'm glad your MIL pretty much "stole the words out of your mouth". I've been pretty much trying to say the same thing to my DH and his mom had a conversation with him the other day when they went out to lunch about having everyone over to her house to meet the baby "when we are ready" instead of them coming here. I was so greatful!

Gismo123 · April 2012

YaY for great in laws! I also have 0 complaints about my In-laws....they are like second parents to me! They are always telling DH that he better be taking good care of me Smile I'm actually sad that they live on the opposite coast...we're in CA and they're in FL...but that will change once Sept. comes as we're moving to FL and will only be about an hour away from them!

TnG05 · April 2012

Oh she's awesome. Mine just left with more of DH family saying they can't wait to hang out at the hospital during labor and they'll be nice and let us cleaned up before coming to our room AND to expect them at our house after we get discharged. The funny thing is I mentioned to him a month or so ago that I didn't want anyone at the hospital or the house (my mom isn't coming until July) and was like oh that won't be a problem they won't want to be there...guess we just proved them wrong.

Kudos to your MIL.