Birds and Bees Talk

butterflygrooves · April 2012

It's time to start talking to A about sex and periods and all that wonderful stuff, I didn't expect this so soon but things have been happening lately that make it necessary.

I talked to her this morning and asked what she thought sex was, if she had any questions about it or anything else she might want to know but has been afraid or embarrassed to talk about. I explained periods, why we have them and when hers might start. We talked about hormones and having feelings for others.

She seemed comfortable and asked a few questions but I don't know if I covered everything or explained it well enough. Does anyone know of a book that we might be able to read through together, something geared towards kids?

leapgirl8 · April 2012

I know she is not old enough for this one, but I just wanted to recommend buying her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves when she turns 11 or 12. My aunt bought a copy of it for me when I turned 12, and I did the same for my sister. It covers EVERYTHING and being able to read it privately gave me so much good information that I never would have asked my mom for.

butterflygrooves · April 2012

leapgirl8:
I know she is not old enough for this one, but I just wanted to recommend buying her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves when she turns 11 or 12. My aunt bought a copy of it for me when I turned 12, and I did the same for my sister. It covers EVERYTHING and being able to read it privately gave me so much good information that I never would have asked my mom for.

Thank you, I will check it out.

hlke · April 2012

I really liked the "What's Happening to my Body Book for Girls". I was in 5th grade when my friend's mom got it for me, so older than A, but not by much. It's very focused on body awareness and I found it very positive. There is also a preteen/teen aimed book by the same folks who put out "Our Bodies, Ourselves" called "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives".

I know there are books out there for elementary aged kids, but they tend to be basic "how babies are made" focused. Not sure if that's what you're looking for.

Also, I'd read any book cover to cover before you give it to her to be prepared for any questions it may raise.

ssg73 · April 2012

Just send her to my class next week. It is all we will be doing my growing and changing unit next week. I teach 6th grade. I think it is very appropriate to talk about the different parts of the reproductive system, the hormones that control puberty, common changes both physical and emotional in puberty. I also talk about fertilization and embryonic development. I touch on the fact there are many different ways for sperm to meet egg and the intercourse is one of them. We usually do touch on alternative fertilization since the kids alway want to know about them. Also it is important to let her know that this all happens at different times for people and that it is normal to be first or last.

butterflygrooves · April 2012

ssg73:
Just send her to my class next week. It is all we will be doing my growing and changing unit next week. I teach 6th grade. I think it is very appropriate to talk about the different parts of the reproductive system, the hormones that control puberty, common changes both physical and emotional in puberty. I also talk about fertilization and embryonic development. I touch on the fact there are many different ways for sperm to meet egg and the intercourse is one of them. We usually do touch on alternative fertilization since the kids alway want to know about them. Also it is important to let her know that this all happens at different times for people and that it is normal to be first or last.

What airport should I sent her to and who should she expect to pick her up? LOL!

hlke · April 2012

Just did a quick look at Amazon. Looks like there are two books for younger kids that might work - "It's Not the Stork" and "It's So Amazing" - both by the same authors. Which one you choose depends on how explicit you want to be with A. Both are in the right age range for her.

There's also a book called "Let's Talk About S-E-X" aimed at 9-12 year olds from Planned Parenthood.

Good luck! A's really not too young for this, I was VERY curious at that age and so were my peers.

nevr2amazin · April 2012

Butterfly, I applaud you for doing this. I was 9 when I started my cycle...my DAD was the one who told me about it and had the "talk"...even though I screamed for my Mom when I was in the bathroom. (If you all haven't picked up on it yet, my Dad was a little controlling.)

2mommiesinoh · April 2012

Good for you for talking to her now! I knew more about sex from my friends before my mom and I had "the talk" which was in 5th grade right before the puberty video/discussion they did. I think the best thing my mom did was always to remind me that she was there for me for anything. While I was adamant I was not having sex until marriage when I was younger she assured me if I did decide to change my mind she was there to talk about ti and even take me for birth control if I stuck by my choice. I think an open line of communication is most important when it came to things like this.

EratMama · April 2012

I love the "It's so amazing" and "it's perfectly normal" books. Very inclusive and helpful.

maryoosa · April 2012

Also she's way to young for it--- but there's a text called Doing it Right: Making Smart, Safe and Satisfying Choices about Sex by Bronwen Pardes. Good to have on hand for when she's older maybe.

2brides · April 2012

I SO want to be the calm,cool, and collected mom who can talk about sex, etc with my kids openly - but the thought of doing so sends shivers up my spine. Huh?

butterflygrooves · April 2012

nevr2amazin:
Butterfly, I applaud you for doing this. I was 9 when I started my cycle...my DAD was the one who told me about it and had the "talk"...even though I screamed for my Mom when I was in the bathroom. (If you all haven't picked up on it yet, my Dad was a little controlling.)

My Dad had the talk with me too, he was a single dad so he had no choice. I was so unprepared for puberty and all that it entails. He, as a man, wasn't equipped to tell me all that I needed to know or would experience.

I've kept an ongoing dialogue about sexuality with A since she was very little, nothing major but a lot of things about me being gay and respecting others, not touching others, that it's ok to love boys or girls, simple stuff that pertains to the way we live and believe.

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