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Natural Birth
EmilyXLC
member
What Do YOU Look For in a Doula?
EmilyXLC
member
Hello ladies,
I've done some serious lurking here on the Natural Birth board & decided to finally ask... What do YOU look for when selecting your doula?
My entire pregnancy, I have done a lot of research on natural birth & I really want to pursue that course for my own birth. I find myself being asked by my expectant friends all about natural birth. It really excites me to spread the word about this option that women have done, without a second thought (or choice, really) for thousands of years... An option that has been seemingly been placed onto the backburner in order to make way for the 'comfortable' way to labor & have birth with the aid of epidurals & other modern medicines. I am thinking about becoming a doula.
Here in Alabama, homebirths are unfortunately illegal. Sadly,this seems to make it difficult for the wondrous news of natural birthing to really get out there.
There are two established doulas in my general area that I am aware of. Their fees are around $550 - $650. They both come very highly recommended & have aided in many, many births.
With this information in mind, could you tell me what you would look for when selecting a doula for your own birthing experience?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What Do YOU Look For in a Doula?
Price - I didn't interview anyone I couldn't afford.
Availability - A lot of doulas were booked up. I think since then, a lot more have entered the market.
Personality - Honestly, the biggest. I wanted to like her. I needed to feel comfortable talking to her and expressing my wishes. I wanted my husband to feel comfortable taking her suggestions.
Knowledge - I wanted her to know her stuff and be able to point me at credible information. I wanted my husband to be able to rely on her ideas during labour.
Supportive of MY decisions - And I wanted her to let me make my choices and back me up, even if they weren't the same as her choices.
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I interviewed several doulas. I needed to find one that fit my personality. One doula didn't seem like someone who was easy to talk to or that put together, I just didn't like her. The second doula was amazing and awesome and soft spoken. The third doula was more harsh and tough. I thought I needed someone who would get tough with me when I needed it. So, I hired the third. She was awesome in many ways. But, she didn't really communicate with my family, and when my mom and other family members were asked to leave the room because I wasn't progressing, she didn't communicate with them. I think my mother was also upset that she was being replaced by a doula.
There are many things that my doula did that I thought was awesome. My husband thought she was the best thing in the world. He really leaned on her for support and to let him know he was doing the right thing. I was very confident in the doula I chose.
There were lots of things I asked during their interviews: How many births have you attended. What is the most difficult thing you have to deal with being a doula. What advice would you give to someone looking for a natural birth. What is a mistake you commonly see mothers making. Are you familiar with the hospital I am delivering at. What do you think about the staff. Etc.
If your ticker is correct and you are due any day, and you really only have two options-- I think this calls for a very different approach that I used in an area with dozens of doulas and a couple of months to prepare. For a very short timeline, I think you see who is available as the first step. DS was due around Christmas, so that meant I got about 10 "no's" right off the bat. Once we actually found someone available to interview, here is what we asked...
Background and Philosophy
Why did you become a doula?
What training have you had? What was required in order to receive any certifications?
How many births have you attended?
Are you familiar with XXX Facility?
Are you familiar with how xxx (my strict HMO) does births?
Tell us about some of your birthing experiences.
Can you give an example of a time when an intervention was truly necessary and how that decision-making process went? What about a time when the parents declined an intervention?
Which labor-coping techniques do you think tend to be the most helpful?
What is your experience with xxx (our birthing method)?
Are your familiar with dealing with xxx (my unique health condition)
Business Details
Do you have a backup arrangement with another doula? Tell me about your backup. Have you every had to use her? How would you communicate our story and wishes to her?
What if baby is born early or late?
What's your fee? What does your fee cover? How many visits or hours? What's your refund policy?
What do you expect from us? (Contract, questionnaires, birth plan, etc.)
Preparation
Do our visions align? Healthy baby, healthy mom but birth preferences (talk through birth preferences sheet if appropriate)
May we call you with questions or concerns before and after the birth?
What is your philosophy about birth and supporting women and their partners through labor?
How would you work with and involve my partner?
Birth
How do we get in touch with you when labor begins?
When would you join me during labor? Do you come to our home or meet us at the place of birth?
How would you coach us through deciding on interventions?
Do you meet with us after the birth to review the labor and answer questions?
What are some of your tricks or tools for helping during labor? (hands-on or mental? eg.g, candles, massage, aromatherapy, soothing words, rebozo, counter-pressure, etc.)
What are your experiences in different birthing enviornments (hospital, center, home).
Overall impressions
Do I feel comfortable around this person?
Is she warm, enthusiastic, and knowledgeable?
Does she communicate and listen well?
Will she support my choices or does she have her own agenda?
Is DH going to work well with this person? (We did Bradley which meant the doula was more there to support DH while he supported me.)
Is she going to work nicely with hospital staff (while 100% being there for our interests) or will she raise their defenses?
More Green For Less Green
Whoops! I guess I wasn't clear. Pregnancy brain. >.<
I'm not looking for a doula for myself.
I'm looking to see what others find necessary when hiring a doula because I am thinking about becoming one.
Affordability (the one I hired for DS1s birth discounted her price to $350 so we could afford her, this time we hired a student doula who is discounting us to nothing since she's still in training and I'm delivering at a center she's unfamiliar with and might not have the option to deliver in often).
Availability (not a problem for either of my births)
Philosophy
Something I didn't consider at DS1's birth, but did this time: Has the doula attended a birth at the hospital I'm delivering at? Does she know the midwives/hospital staff/routines well? For DS1's birth, I think I'd have benefited MUCH more from a doula that knew the hospital/staff better. This time, it wasn't quite as important to me, so I'm comfortable with the fact that she hasn't been to a birth at the center, but she HAS atended births at the associated hospital, so she's familiar with the midwives and other hospital staff.
I've always asked my midwives about doulas too- both the good and the bad. If they had a terrible experience with a specific doula, I want to know so that there's no added tension at my labor.
Pretty much what the other ladies have said. One thing that was big for me and became the deciding factor between two doulas for me was distance from my house. I didn't want to meet the doula at the hospital/birth center but wanted the doula to come to me since I planned on laboring at home as long as possible. One doula lived 45 minutes away WITHOUT traffic and traffic can be a huge headache here so I chose the doula who lived only 7 minutes from my house and traffic wouldn't be an issue at all.
Besides that, I really just wanted someone I was comfortable with and one that was well versed in many different comfort methods.
I wanted someone I felt comfortable with.
I wanted someone who would help me make good decisions and ask the right questions when problems came up. Therefore she had to know what she was talking about-about birth, about interventions, about how to avoid interventions, etc.
I did not want anyone who would make me feel like anything I did was a failure. I know I interviewed one doula who was just so ANGRY and had an agenda against doctors. I was not comfortable with that.
I wanted someone my husband got along with. That was a really big one and it made the decision between two doulas. He just clicked with one better than the other. That was really important.
Price wasn't huge factor for us since there was only a $50 difference one way or the other among the available doulas.
This is such a good question, because there really is a doula for everyone and everyone has very different needs in regard to what they look for in a doula.
Price was pretty important to me, but I wanted someone who was charging what they were worth. As a doula you'll spend 24/7 on call for someone for possibly 5 weeks. You might spend 3 days with her if she has a long, rough labor. You might still be answering questions a year after her baby's born. You'll also probably want to keep doing continuing education to improve your skills, and these can be very expensive. That said, I didn't want a doula who undervalued herself, but I also didn't want someone who priced herself with highly experienced doulas without having the skills to back that up.
I wanted someone who was extremely knowledgeable about birth in general, who knew what normal looked liked and who knew how to fix common problems, and who would help my husband feel like he knew what he was doing. So, they needed to have a go report as well as she and I.
I wanted someone with a quite confidence, who would empower me to have my best birth possible.
I wanted someone who took the time to get to know me and what best relaxed me, and who understood my relaxation modalities well.
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Harmony Doula
All of the things the others listed: price, availability, personality, supportive, experience... also, for me, it was *really* important that I like her voice.
Silly? Maybe. But it was important to me.
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