When I was pregnant, I joked with DH that he wouldnt want to help me with night time feedings (we FF). He said not to be silly, that of course he would help me.
Well.....that isnt happening! Right now DH is the only one working while I am on maternity leave. When we first came home with the baby I kind of offered to DH that he didnt have to help me with LO during the night because he was working during the day and I got to stay home with the baby. I figured that the baby slept alot during the day and I would catch up on my sleep when baby does. Still, DH offered to take over the 6am feeding so that he can spend time with LO before work and I can get a few extra hours sleep. That never happened. One time I woke up at 6am to LO crying and tried to wake DH and he just wouldnt get out of bed. So I went ahead and got up. Since then, I just have taken over all feedings except for maybe one a day, when DH gets home from work and takes over so I can take a shower.
But now LO is sleeping WAY less during the day (1 2hr nap if i'm lucky and 2 or 3 catnaps) and even when he is sleeping, I try to catch up with housework and laundry so I rarely have time to snooze myself. He sleeps okay at night...usually one 4-5 hour stretch and then wakes for feedings every 3 hours...he wakes up at 6am EVERY morning and is up for at least two hours. Im EXHAUSTED. Lately, I have been driving to my parents house so that my mom can babysit LO while I take a 2-3 hour nap....but she has become overbearing and acts like she is co-parenting and is kinda relishing the fact that im depending so much on her..and I dont like that. So I want to stop. But in order to stop going over there, I need help from DH!
Ive mentioned it to him a couple of times that I would like him to help more at night and everytime I do, he keeps reminding me that I told him that I didnt need his help. I tell him that the baby is getting older and sleeping less during the day and Im exhausted. Then he says, "But I always take over for a couple hours when I get home at night."
A couple hours out of 24?!?!? Thats not enough! I understand that he works ten hour days, but I work ALL day with this kid! Then when my husband has a day off, he expects to sleep in until about 10am when the baby is up at 6am.
I feel he is being stubborn and selfish and Im actually quite hurt and disappointed by the whole situation. I assumed we would be taking care of the baby 50/50. My husband gets 6-8 hours of sleep a night and if im lucky I get 4. I dont think its fair. He gets home and takes the baby for a couple hours while I shower and catch up on dishes but then he expects me to take him back so that he can be in bed watching TV and relaxing.
Am i the only one going through this? Any advice on how to handle this?