Want to stop bedsharing, need help — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Want to stop bedsharing, need help

My son is 3.5 months old and was a great sleeper up until a month ago.  I was ok with part-time bedsharing for awhile, but now he has begun waking at night earlier and earlier and wants to nurse all night.  He also will not nap longer than 35-45 minutes unless I lay down with him.  I also have a 2 year old and I don't have oodles of time to lay down with the baby just to try to get him to nap.  I have also tried wearing him for naps but he doesn't nap very long when worn, either.

Any suggestions for getting him to sleep better using gentle methods?  He has developed a strong nurse-to-sleep association which I think is actually hindering him from getting better sleep.  He will sometimes take a pacifier but not often.

I am now back to work PT and I work 12 hour shifts so I need him sleeping better in order for me to function for the long days.

I have ordered Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution but it hasn't arrived yet. :/ 

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Re: Want to stop bedsharing, need help

  • You may want to read The Sleep Lady book. I have not finished the book yet but it does have a chapter for babies that young. Your LO may be going through a growth spurt too. DS went through that and a wakeful period around 4 months. GL
  • I agree that your son is probably going through a growth spurt.  It's amazing how often they need to eat when they are!

    What will his sleeping arrangements be when you stop bedsharing?  If he has his own room, you could try breastfeeding him in his room (set the tone of the room first - white noise, low light, etc.)  Nurse him, put him in his crib, say good-night or whatever you want to do, and then leave the room quietly.  Pray he stays asleep?

    I have a routine like that for my girls, and they have turned into professional sleepers!  8+ hours per night.  I've only had one night where there was crying involved.  In that case, I held her for a while longer, settled her down, and tried again.  All good at that point.  but the key I think was keeping everything on the down-low - quietly.  No talking.  I sing to my girls at night, but no talking.  Talking for them gets them to want to talk with me, so I keep a low singing if anything.

    Those are just some thoughts and suggestions.  Good luck!  I hope you find the combination of things that works for you and your son.

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