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Need thoughts ideas or even a prayer.
A litle history:
I had my DS when I was 19, he is now 6. I had him out of a one night stand. Stayed with his dad for as long as I could. I wasn't happy and I was young. He is a good dad but question some parenting that gites on in his home.
So I have spent THOUSANDS OF dollars fighting to have more time with my sun. I got more time, but also have the typical every other weekend scenario. Why did this happen, well....i wish I could give an answer. I probably made a bad decision leaving DS with his dad in the bring......I got married had a DD divorced and was on to another relationship had another DD then that didn't workout ...... So yes bad decisions on my part.
Ok so here's the issue. My son use to transition easy to my home from one car to the other......but the past two weekends its been a battle!!!! He fights to get out of the car my DH helps get him in. butdear lord I don't know what happend.
My DS has a ton of toys and things to do here. We have a farm. My DD's love it here.....they love my DH. It's the prefect life I have dreamed about.
How or what can I do or tell my ds.dad to do to make this easier????? Thank you!!
very hopeful on a vba3c!!!!
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Re: Need thoughts ideas or even a prayer.
I agree with this. He needs to be on meds consistently.
I feel so sorry for your son. Your punishment seems harsh. There is no magic answer to solve his problem. I would consult a doctor and get advice from a professional - possibly a family counselor on how you proceed and help your son.
honestly. the kid has been through alot. weather you see it or not. something you did or said could have set him off, or something his BD did or said could have as well. he is probably struggling with the fact that he lives with BD and his half sisters live with you. or maybe BD got a new GF? or BD is going to have another baby? at 6 yrs old he is finally realizing something is up.
therapy for DS for sure. he needs to work out the issues. When he is calm and collected you need to sit down with him and set ground rules (assuming you have these for your other children, this should be straighforward) tell him the rules and the punishments. if its a long list of rules break it into a few sessions so you don't bombard him.
if the rules are very drastic and different from what he is used to then maybe you should implement a "1 strike" system or something.
sit down and ask him why he doesn't want to get in your car on the weekends. do you run up to him and hug him and greet him like you are excited to see him? or do you sit in the car chatting or texting while BD buckles him in?
the ladies here are just trying to give you advice.
yes you should absolutely be involved in medical decisions in your childs life and you should absolutely know what medicine he is on. some of the ADHD meds are ok to use once in a while or only when in school etc, just depends which one the child is on.
I think that he needs to be punished for bad behavior, but ultimately you want to get to the root of the problem. My best guess given the information you have provided is that your son is seeking attention from you. You say you have lots of one on one time doing all sorts of fun things, but perhaps all your son needs is an hour with you doing something mundane, like folding laundry, doing homework, reading a story.
If you have a 6yo that you see EOW who is extremely unhappy, how is your life perfect? Your current situation might be ideal but if you think this situation is perfect then that is a SERIOUS issue. People are being VERY nice to you on here right now and trying to give very good advice, be open to listening to it.
DS' life has been in constant turmoil for 6 years, his mother left him with his father and went on to have two more kids with two more men, this is a lot for him. All the toys in the world and all the BB shooting in the world will not change the fact that his mother has this new perfect life that he is barely a part of, every time he sees you he gets to see that he is not fully a part of your life, this may or may not be the big issue but it certainly is an issue.
No wonder you son is troubled. He has a mom who is all over the board, living her perfect life WITHOUT HIM most of the time and she just expects him to be as happy as you!
DO YOU NOT SEE that he is resentful?
You can not let a 6 year old decide. You need to step up and be involved in his life and demand that his father share information that is important to your son's well being. You can not just expect your son to just fall in line and be happy just because you are.
ANd for god sakes...quit having children.
I would fight and advocate for him, not just move on. Being on medication will not instantly make him love you and want to be with you, only time with you will do that. And no, you do not have 4 kids with 4 Dads because you are blessed, you have them because you are immature and do not know to use birth control. A good Mom does not leave her child and surely does not use the fact that her 6yo son is unmedicated cause her to walk away from him AGAIN. Do you realize he is only 6 and you are abandoning him twice. And you are letting a 6yo decide what your relationship should be. Go ahead, have more kids and move on in your perfect life and forget your first child, if you are willIng to give up when a 6yo is having a tantrum then I agree with you, he is better off with his father since he needs someone to be his ad vote and not give up on him.
mackfarm you need therapy. and a parenting class.
perhaps your 6yo is reacting to you having YET ANOTHER child with YET a different man. YOU are the parent
stop tossing your firstborn aside. maybe you should have made him a priority before getting pregnant with # 2,3,4 etc. and perfecting YOUR life
congratulations on being fertile. doesn't mean you need to have 4 kids before you're 25.
Mia this supposed to be Goodbye cruel Bump? If so she has to be postin under a fake name or she would not know that acronym. Either way I am done bc she is F'd up and just wants a pat on the back.
Wow. Now I see what all the stepmoms on here with crazy BMs must be going though!!!! If I had someone like the OP in my child's life I don't know how I would be able to deal.
Is this the first certifiable 100% batsh*t crazy BM we have gotten on the board?
I hope the boy's father is a more steadying influence in his life, and maybe gets sole custody down the road- that will probably be the best for this poor little boy since the mom is not interested in being a part of his life.