The waiting game
I miscarried my first baby this last weekend and this week has honestly been hell. The baby was sort of an oops but I was so happy I got pregnant. Now that I miscarried my husband wants to wait and not just try again. I feel like knowing that I have to wait to try to get pregnant again is going to kill me. I'm being irrational I know but still...I've been trying my best to be positive but knowing that I have to think every day about if I can even carry a baby to full term is going to drive me nuts and that's all I think about.
I wanted to wait a month or two before trying just so this time we could prepare a little more (start taking vitamins) and get my body back to normal. Maybe I'm wrong but the thought of possibly just trying again soon was what was keeping me positive. Now I feel like negative Nancy over here:(
Sorry--vent over.
Re: The waiting game
I'm so sorry for your loss.
One positive thing I got from your post, is that it's good that your husband is being open and honest with you, about wanting to wait. I understand how hard that is on you though. If you haven't done so already, have a calm (as calm as you can right now lol) talk with him and tell him exactly what you told us here, and see what his reaction is to that.
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
The strongest desire after a miscarriage is to just be pregnant again. It's very natural and almost every woman goes through this feeling. To me, it's part of feeding into the grief stage of denial. You will hit a point somewhere along the lline where a new pregnancy isn't "replacing" this lost LO, but is a whole new pregnancy and future baby. It's hard to describe, but you eventually get there.
This is a long hard road, and being pregnant after a loss is scary. Get your mind and body in the the best possible place before trying again.
BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
Thanks Ladies. I know that alot of how I'm feeling now is very emotionally driven and so I do have to take that into account. But for the longest time I've always feared that I wouldn't be able to have children. I've felt that since I've always been so good with children and loved them that karma wouldn't allow me that joy--so negative I know but that's how I feel. Now that I actually am living out that fear, I'm honestly terrified that I wasn't wrong.
I will talk to DH again and let him know how I feel. He's sometimes so financially driven (can't blame him to want to bring a kid into the world in a very financially secure family) but he also needs to realize that it may not be the most important thing in the world.
You ladies are all brave and I'm happy I have a place that I can vent/share my worries with (and hopefully at some point joys).