Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Why does the name Lilith have a negative connotation?
I think of Lilith from Cheers. And Frasier and Lilith getting a divorce, and then there was the Frasier series in Seattle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith_Sternin
I think Lily/Lillie or even Lillian are just a little more easygoing and more lovely.
I think Lily is a very cute name.
When I hear Lilith, I think of the TV show, CHEERS ... Frasier's wife/ex wife's name was Lilith. She was very cold and uptight.
Not sure about whether she is someone from the bible ...
Well this is the history on the name and why people may have the negative connotation, though I had to look it up to understand it myself.
When I picture Lilith I picture the character on Cheers that was kind of bitchy. She was Frasier's ex-wife on Frasier, not Niles
But that said, when you share a name you are bound to get haters - if your and your SO like the name, then all others will get over it once she is here.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
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Lilith was Adam's first wife who was created as an equal (as opposed to Eve who was created from Adam's rib). She refused to be subservient to Adam, and was banished from the Garden of Eden after sleeping with the archangel, Samuel. This is not in the bible, it is folklore.
She is also who the Lilith Fair was named after.
Cole Joseph 7/05/07
Nora Anne 11/03/12
9lbs, 6oz
This is why:
https://nameberry.com/babyname/Lilith
I know people have posted the negative history of the name, but even if you simply look up the meaning, it is bad.
I agree! I grew up with those shows in the house--mom liked them--and Im starting to forget about them mostly.
It actually just means "Of the Night" not night monster or ghost. I have searched 5 different baby name sites and its all "Of the Night." My name means Wealthy and Bitter and its Jessica--I am neither Wealthy nor Bitter so name meanings aren't steering me much unless its super negative and well known to be negative. Like Lucifer--which apparently some people did actually name their children that this year.
The Adam's 1st wife story, not even that bad. I understand why Lilith Fair was named after her. She was a woman who wanted to stand her ground and not be subservient. Sounds like myself. I am equal to my husband. Either way, thats not the debate or anything. I like the name, hubby likes the name, none of the negative connotations brought up in this forum were that bad, so I guess Im eased up a bit!
Thanks everyone!
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
Started fertility treatments 11/2010
Ovarian dysfunction, LPD, male factor
6 failed medicated IUI's
Pregnant 5/2011 - Miscarriage at 6 weeks due to triploidy
Decided to adopt - 6/2012
SURPRISE! Pregnant without intervention - 7/2012
Sweet Baby James Born 3/2013
Decided to be "One and Done"
....OR NOT.
Pregnant 12/2018 despite birth control pills
Here we go again...
Due 8/26/19!
I also only think of Frasier... Not a fan of the name though. You shouldn't share... it is your choice, don't tell anyone else and then you won't worry about what they think.
GL deciding!
Why did you ask about the connotations if you're going to get all butthurt at anyone who mentions them? And your friend had to dig deep in Google? Because one of the first things that pops up when I search for Lilith is the Wikipedia article about the folklore.
It isn't about a name meaning having negative connotation. It's about naming your child after a demon/vampire. And people do know the story. I just asked DH and he said "a succubus from the underworld." Inaccurate, but he knew there was a demonic connotation there.
Obviously you're going to do what you want regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. You might want to reconsider posting here asking for opinions again if you don't really want to hear them.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
Well said. And I didn't even have to Google Lilith to know the negative connotations/history. The fact that other people pointed out to you enough that you came on here and asked, generally means there are a number of people out there who already know the negative connotations.
That said, personally, I think the name sounds pretty (UO, I know). It's obviously up to you if you use it, but don't think no one knows the story.
I didn't know the story. Since its Jewish folklore, the chance that everyone knows it if you don't live in a highly Jewish area is slim. I knew the Frasier link, but that wouldn't be a deal breaker.
I also think that the name sounds pretty. And PPs, its not like she's naming her daughter Havoc or Chaos, words used in everyday life to describe something negatively. People name their children Delilah. And apparently Pandora Internet Radio has overcome its negative connotation.
OP, I'd say use it if you want to. Your child is obviously not a monster, so for someone to say she was would just be mean.
I have to disagree with everything you said. Dig deep to find the folklore?? Have you personally typed "Lilith" in to google? NOT Lilith+folklore... JUST Lilith. I suggest you do so if you really think it's hard to find the info or if you think no one really knows about the story.If you like the name and your dh likes the name, why are you coming on here getting defensive? If you really don't care about the connotations then just name her Lilith and move on... But you have to expect honest answers to your question if you choose to make a thread about it on a public board.
my hubby likes the name, but this is why im not ok with it...
Lilith is a nocturnal female demon originating in Babylonian tradition, said to harm male children. The name Lilith is mentioned in the Bible in Isaiah 34:14, where it is translated as "screech-owl" in the King James Version. According to medieval Jewish lore, Lilith was the first wife of Adam, who left Eden of her own choice because she considered Adam inferior. For this reason, she has recently become a symbol of the feminist movement.
The earliest recorded reference to Lilith is in the prologue to the Babylonian epic poemGilgamesh, dating from as early as 2000 BCE. Much later, around the 9th century BCE, related demons are attested in Babylonian lore, including the male Lilu and the female Lilitu and Ardat Lili. All three are vampire-like monsters that prey on infants and pregnant women during the night.
I'm not Jewish but I did know about the story of Lilith and Adam and the supposed connection to demons.
I don't understand why you are saying that the negative connotation is obscure and relatively unknown when a couple of people have already told you about it. Everyone you meet may not know of it but it's pervasive enough to persuade a lot of people to not use the name.
Lilith isn't in the bible (I don't believe). It's my understanding that people are confusing the story with an extra-biblical story about a temptress named Lilith who came between Adam and Eve (if my memory serves me correctly). This legend gave Lilith a negative connotation for a long time.
I also associate Lilith with Frazier's ex-wife and the way he said her name with a certain... disdain.
ETA: Correction - yes, Lilith was, according to legend/folklore, Adam's first wife, not a temptress (although we could debate all day long as to whether Eve being created by Adam's rib *really* made her subservient - I say no haha - and if we really need a Lilith character to begin with. But that is not the debate/question. The point is, there are a lot of negative connotations to the name, historically, and no you do not have to dig deep).
Lilith was the first wife to Adam. She was kicked out of Eden for wanting to sleep next to Adam and not under him. She basically wanted to be his equal and not be subservient to him. This is the story I was taught in my Women in Judiasm class. And, it's not considered folklore but a story that was taken out of the Old Testament because of Lilith being such a strong woman. It was later on that she was made out to be some evil succubai who was associated with still born babies and such. Most likely to keep women more subservient to men. I've always liked this name much more than Lillian. I agree that Lillian sound really old lady to me and Lilith is a much fresher name. I personally see Lilith as a strong women's name and do not associate it with the demon folklore.
TTC 10/11. IUI 2/12. BFP 3/8/12. 4/26/12 missed mc. RE consult 5/17/12. IVF #1 ER 7/13/12 53R, 41M ICSIed, 32F, 8 5d, 6 6d blasts - all PGD/frozen. PGD results 1 normal M and 1 normal F, 1 maybe M. FET 9/6, transferred 1 F embie. Beta 9/15 BFN. FET#2 planned for 11/2012 put off until 2013. Surprise BFP 11/21/12!! My son was born on 7/24/13!
our cat is named Lilith. Originally we named her Lily, then she started attacking our faces in the middle of the night, so we changed it to Lilith. She REALLY is our night demon/monster.. lol. We love her.
So when I think of Lilith, I think of a cat that likes to attack people
this
I'll be honest, when I hear parents name their kids things like Lilith, Cain, Delilah, etc, I assume they are either culturally illiterate or deliberately have given their children names with a dark association. Either way, I judge.
Do what you like, it's your kid, but keep in mind that even if the name's association isn't familiar to you, it is pretty familiar with a lot of people, most of who aren't Jewish.
Why saddle your kid with that?