Babysitter Drama...wwyd?

MBandBud · April 2012

So we used this babysitter - who we had used a few times before - 16yo - last night; she said her girlfriend was suppose to sleep over, would it be okay if she came by. I was okay with that; a little odd that she asked when she arrived, and that she was going to be sleeping over, but whatever. She asks what time we will be home; I say around 10. She sends me a txt at 9 saying 'DD just went to sleep, are you still thinking around 10?' I txt back 'yes - is everything okay?'. 'yup, fine'. We got home around 9:30, it is raining pretty hard out so even though she lives down the street I wait in the car to take her home. She gets in the car, small talk, drop her to her house. Driving home I see this boy standing on the side of the road; thought it was odd b/c it is raining and he is in a t-shirt. I get home and DH is on the front yard, saying that he lets the dogs out the back, they run through a gate that was left open, he goes to chase them, one of them is injured so he slows down and nearly runs into this boy. He says 'what the f*@! are you doing in my yard - he says he was just coming up inbetween the houses, which is a lie b/c there is a fence around both houses- no way to be walking inbetween. Boy leaves. DH takes care of dogs. This was when I arrived. I went back to try to find boy but he is gone at that point.

I txt babysitter and ask who was at the house. She mentions 2 girls. I txt back and say what about the boy. Followed by 'don't lie'. Long pause, reply with 'my friends bf - she forgot her charger and he was bringing it over, I am sorry'. The part that doesn't add up is I never saw the 2 girls. I know her Mom very casually. I have my thoughts on what to do but would like other opinions. Yours?

lrrb · April 2012

I wouldn't bring her mom into it. But I would be pissed and let her know you don't appriciate her bringing her BF to your house - she should have asked and been honest with you. Who's to say you would have no said if she did ask if her BF could come over (I have no idea what you would say thats why I'm saying that). Anyways, I would find another babysitter lying is never cool. Ever. But she IS 16 years old and we all remember how smart we thought we were at 16 haha.

choco_lab · April 2012

Not use her again. No one got hurt so beyond that I'd leave it alone.

MayDayGirl · April 2012

I would totally talk to her mom. I Would want to know if that were my daughter! They could have been having sex on your couch!!!

cjsbdl · April 2012

I would tell her mother. She is a minor, and if that were my daughter I would want to know.

emiannie · April 2012

I wouldn't use her again because she lied and if she'd lie about this who knows what else. I doubt I'd bring her Mom into it because bottom line is you didn't catch him IN your house...just your backyard and they had excuses...though lame ones, they were excuses. So I'd just not use her again. If her Mom asks why you haven't or if you need her to babysit, then I'd tell her why, but unless that happens I wouldn't bother with it. Just move on.

LoveTX · April 2012

I have used several teenagers as sitters and this has always been a fear of mine. I am not sure how far I would take it. If it really upset me I would call her mom and let her know that a boy was at my house during the time she was babysitting, that he likely ran out the back when we arrived home and that I would not be using her again. Honestly, though I might just let it go and never use her again.

When I was in high school I had a friend that would babysit. She would put the kids to bed and then her boyfriend would come over so they could have sex. He would leave before the parents showed up and the kids never even knew he was there. My guess is that situation is similar.

steveandkim2 · April 2012

I would tell the mother the facts as you told us ( texted about a girl friend, boy was in yard, story keeps changing). Let the mom draw her own conclusions or press her daughter if she's concerned. I wouldnt draw conclusions since you didnt catch him in your house, but the whole thing is fishy...especially since she was so concerned about when you would be home. Bottom line is she's a minor and you don't know what she did in your house. Who knows the consequences....she could lie and tell her mom that you said it was ok for him to be there. For all you know, the mother doesn't want her seeing that boy. As a mom, I would want to know if my daughter was doing something sketchy.

I would never use her again...that's for sure!

JustaKidAtHeart · April 2012

steveandkim2:
I would tell the mother the facts as you told us ( texted about a girl friend, boy was in yard, story keeps changing). Let the mom draw her own conclusions or press her daughter if she's concerned. I wouldnt draw conclusions since you didnt catch him in your house, but the whole thing is fishy...especially since she was so concerned about when you would be home. Bottom line is she's a minor and you don't know what she did in your house. Who knows the consequences....she could lie and tell her mom that you said it was ok for him to be there. For all you know, the mother doesn't want her seeing that boy. As a mom, I would want to know if my daughter was doing something sketchy.
I would never use her again...that's for sure!

This is what I would do too. I might even be tempted to talk to mom and daughter together. Oh and I would totally save the texts to show mom.

dusk42 · April 2012

I would definitely say something to her mom just because I would be angry that 1) some guy I didn't know was in the house with my kid (luckily it was a dumb teenage boy, but it totally could have been a child molester), 2) he effing left the gate open and could have lost my dogs/let them been hit by a car, and 3) that's a huge lie. I obviously would never let her babysit again or recommend her to anyone.

AimeeL85 · April 2012

lrrb:
I wouldn't bring her mom into it. But I would be pissed and let her know you don't appriciate her bringing her BF to your house - she should have asked and been honest with you. Who's to say you would have no said if she did ask if her BF could come over (I have no idea what you would say thats why I'm saying that). Anyways, I would find another babysitter lying is never cool. Ever. But she IS 16 years old and we all remember how smart we thought we were at 16 haha.

I agree with this. Not surprising teenage behavior, but she needs to learn a lesson from it nonetheless.

howleyshell · April 2012

steveandkim2:
I would tell the mother the facts as you told us ( texted about a girl friend, boy was in yard, story keeps changing). Let the mom draw her own conclusions or press her daughter if she's concerned.
I would never use her again...that's for sure!

Ditto this.

As a step-mom of a 17 yr old I would want to know if my child was making arrangements to be alone with a member of the opposite sex.

Not saying it isn't going to happen regardless, just saying that it helps to hear feed back like what you have to offer because it may encourage some appropriate parental dialogue (ie: birth control)

We're a pretty tight neighborhood and I'm kinda a fan of the whole: "It takes a village to raise a child" concept. I wouldn't do it to rat her out or hope she gets punished but I would mention it so the parents are more aware of what might possibly be going on with their daughter. I know I would really hope that someone else would tell me if it was my child. It's hard enough keeping up with teenagers these days and frankly I need all the help I can get.

And I'd tell the girl directly that you don't feel she's trustworthy and won't be using her as a sitter any longer. She needs to hear that message IMO.

Mrs.Babbsy · April 2012

steveandkim2:

I would tell the mother the facts as you told us ( texted about a girl friend, boy was in yard, story keeps changing). Let the mom draw her own conclusions or press her daughter if she's concerned. I wouldnt draw conclusions since you didnt catch him in your house, but the whole thing is fishy...especially since she was so concerned about when you would be home. Bottom line is she's a minor and you don't know what she did in your house. Who knows the consequences....she could lie and tell her mom that you said it was ok for him to be there. For all you know, the mother doesn't want her seeing that boy. As a mom, I would want to know if my daughter was doing something sketchy.

I would never use her again...that's for sure!

this

wille2b · April 2012

MayDayGirl:
I would totally talk to her mom. I Would want to know if that were my daughter! They could have been having sex on your couch!!!

THIS!

brideinOC · May 2012

1. Yes, I would talk to the mother. Not to bring her into the drama but just let her know that her daughter had a boy over and that you will no longer be using her daughter as a sitter. My husband has two teenage children and you better believe that we would want to know.

2. Yes, I would tell the girl in person that she is no longer going to be used for babysitting by you due to you not trusting her. She certainly needs to hear that message.

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