Parenting

In honor of Jeffrey...

I wanted to share with you guys some positives out of this whole ordeal.

Here are just some of the amazing, chill inducing things that my SIL has experienced -

1. The day after Jeffrey died, in a haze, my SIL had made a comment about "and on top of all of this, our damn dryer just broke two days ago and I have a mountain of laundry to do."  Within 5 hours, a dryer was delivered to their house!

2.  They are having a benefit at a local bar on Saturday.  The bar owner planned to buy a bench in honor of Jeffrey and have it engraved, leaving it up to my SIL and BIL where they wanted it to go (waterfront boardwalk, their yard, whereever).  Within 24 hours of him mentioning this, a guy called (the owner still doesn't know how he even found out) and paid for the bench in full.  $3000! 

3.  A lawyer from LI posted on one of the news sites that if the family needed any monetary help paying for funeral costs, he would cover 100% of them.  (This one I heard 3rd party so not sure it's entirely true but...)

4.  The community has drafted a schedule of meals and a different meal will be delivered every Mon/Wed/Fri for at least the next month to my SIL and her family.

5. My friend was so distraught and wanted to do something so she organized a food drive.  She FILLED my garage with food, donated by her friends/family/neighbors/community.  My family was able to eat lunch and dinner for an entire week off of what was provided.  And that's not including all of the non-perishables (my SIL both have 1.5 BINS full of food from the drive). 

People have anonymously sent my SIL books from Amazon - healing books, spiritual books, books on surviving the loss of a child, etc.

Not to mention the release of red balloons in his honor the day after he died and the candle light vigil with hundreds in attendance.

I, personally, have had a really tough time the past few days.  I know a good part of that is that I'm PMS and so I'm overly emotional.  Talked to my SIL last night and she seemed as good as can be expected and said the family is moving forward and trying to find some inner peace now.  I could hyperventilate just thinking about them so it's so reassuring to hear her voice and know that she/they are getting through.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers and I hope that this post restores some faith in humanity and just puts a smile on your face!

Re: In honor of Jeffrey...

  • Continued (((hugs))) and thoughts. I'm amazed at how the community has come out to help support your family through this. People really can be beautiful.
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  • Wow, what amazing stories. It's heartwarming to know that communities can pull together when they're most needed to. And I'm glad the measures are helping your SIL in even the most miniscule of ways.

    How are Cam and Joey doing?

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  • This is wonderful to hear.  I still can't even imagine what you are all going through.  Hugs and healing and peace
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • That warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes.  Thank you for sharing.
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
  • Cam and Joey are doing better this week than last week.

    Joey had some issues with discussing details in school.  He's been so inquisitive since day one (and wants all details), which we were ok with but we told him he couldn't share that information.  Of course he started to but his teacher cut him off and he went to talk to the school psychologist again. 

    The school, once again, has been amazing and supportive.  And Joey and Cam know that if they get sad/need to talk, they can go see the psychologists.  They have each gone down a couple of times to talk and have been given some other coping mechanisms as well (stress ball, think of positive memories, etc).

    The worst thing is the nightmares.  They both rarely, if ever, had nightmares prior to this and they both, on average, wake 2-4 nights a week with nightmares!  :(

  • *hugs*

    Teagan-11/22/10
    Scarlett Madison-12-18-2014
    Baby # 3 Due 06/02/16

    Furchildren include
    Kali 12/20/10-Husky-Has Addison's Disease.
    Doxie 10/04/11-Dachsund
    Tadley 11/12-Cat Ruler of the house.
  • I can't even imagine what you guys are going through.  Glad to hear that everyone is stepping up and helping in any way they can.  Hoping you all can find peace in this horrible situation.
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  • Tears, and HUGS. You live in a wonderful community. 
  • I am glad to hear the community is rallying their support for you and your family. Thank you for the update. I think about you all frequently. You remain in my prayers. 
    Child #1: 6 yo DD Child #2: 2yo DD
  • Hugs to you. So glad to hear of the support your SIL & family are receiving.
    Mom to DD#1 December '06, DD#2 Feb '09 and DS March '12
  • Hey Jodi. I have never had the loss of a child, but I can relate to what you said about not letting your mind really go there yet. I am learning this is a part of grief and maybe it just means 'pure love' -- it means you loved SO deeply that you are not ready to quite take it in -- maybe any of it in. I'm at 4 months from the loss of my mom and I am still taking things in an iota at a time with a lot of tears and pain. I still block out a lot bc my heart just hurts. Thinking of you, hon. Jeffrey reminds me of Sam -- those ears, etc.
  • What a great community, Sending lots and lots of prayers. 
  • (((HUGS))) vccake!!!  (((HUGS)))

    This grieving thing is a weird beast.  I was on auto pilot for the first week. I also did not want to make this loss about ME (like my mom would) so I have almost suppressed some of my grieving.  I don't even know if I can explain that.  But yes, one iota at a time is a good way to put it.  Anything more and I'd need a padded room! 

    And I see the similarity!  His little ears! 

    Keep your chin up!  We WILL get through this! 

  • Thanks for sharing. Stories of kindness and generosity during people's pain and sadness are always amazing.  People are good, most people are good. 

    Your in my thoughts. 

  • What wonderful outpouring of support from the community. (((HUG))) Jodi - to you, your kids, Joe, and your entire family.
  • I have been praying for your family- what a terrible tragedy to suffer for all of you. 
  • wishing you continued strength and healing jodi.  It sounds like there is great support in your community.  big hugs to you and your family.
    Patty Matt 4/7/05 and Sean 12/14/06 image
  • big (((hugs)))....I can't imagine what you are going through. It sounds like you live in a great community.
    Matt and Krystal 9-18-05
    DD 1/29/07 -
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    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Your community sounds amazing. Thank you for updating. Hope your PMS passes quickly - you have enough to deal with! Huge, huge hugs, girl.
  • I have been praying for you and your family- I am so sorry you have to go through this.
    Former nest name=nettie Mom to Nick 09/13/05, Isabel 07/20/07, and Tori 09/08/11 image
  • I have been praying for you and your family- I am so sorry you have to go through this.
    Former nest name=nettie Mom to Nick 09/13/05, Isabel 07/20/07, and Tori 09/08/11 image
  • imageJodi&Joe:

    (((HUGS))) vccake!!!  (((HUGS)))

    This grieving thing is a weird beast.  I was on auto pilot for the first week. I also did not want to make this loss about ME (like my mom would) so I have almost suppressed some of my grieving.  I don't even know if I can explain that.  But yes, one iota at a time is a good way to put it.  Anything more and I'd need a padded room! 

    And I see the similarity!  His little ears! 

    Keep your chin up!  We WILL get through this! 

    It is a very weird and large beast. xoxo.

  • Thanks for the updates.   I am so glad they live in an awesome tight-knit community...what a blessing!  And those are great examples people just being awesome.   I do hope that your family continues to heal, Joey & Cam's nightmares lessen, etc...

     I just can't imagine losing a child...my heart breaks for your SIL and her husband.  


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  • What a wonderful community you live in.  My thoughts and prayers are still with your family.
    Rebecca- mom to 3 kids: DS born 2005, DD born 2007 and DS born 2010.
  • Jody, I am so glad your family has the support of the community, and is seeing the good in people in light of such a horrific tragedy.

    I have been haunted by this story since I first saw mention of it on here.

    I am so very sorry for your family's loss.

    imageimage
  • I am so, so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have an amazing family & support system, and I'm so happy to hear that Cam & Joey are coping as well as can be expected. More good thoughts & prayers coming your way.
  • Jodi, I've been thinking about you and your family a lot.  I can't imagine the pain you feel.  hugs to you and your family.  
    Christmas 2009 image
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