Hi ladies! I haven't posted here in a while, but need some advice and a sympathetic ear. I used to be active duty Army with my husband and after we had our son in Oct 2007 in Korea, I got out in Oct 2009 when we PCSd back to the US. My husband deployed in the fall of 2010 and came back fall 2011. We have been trying since then to get pregnant, but have been unsuccessful. Doctors laugh at me when I go in for any sort of "preconception" appointment or help. My son is 4.5 and the gap between him and a would be sibling continues to grow every month that passes by. This week, my husband was told he had to go to Korea for 1 year unaccompanied, leaving THIS September. That is the one year mark for when he returned from deployment and it will be the one year mark for us trying to have a baby. The doctors won't see me for fertility issues until its been a year of trying. Some good that will do if my other half is here to help procreate. I'm so angry and disappointed. My husband and I don't want to keep trying for much longer since the age gap between the two kids will be so huge that they won't have a relationship like my sister and I who are three years apart in age, but more like my husband and his brother who are 8 years apart in age. We don't want that. If we don't get pregnant in the next 4 months, I guess we are only going to have one kid. I wanted three. My heart is broken that my family is not what I had always planned on and dreamed of. It hurts even more when my son walks up to me and says, "I wish I had someone to play with me." He is partly asking me to play when he says this, but part of me wonders if he is lonely and wishes for a sibling that he most likely will never have. I am very close to my sister and it breaks my heart that my son may never know that love and joy.When my husband and I pass, he will be all alone with only a couple of cousins who live states away so they haven't met to date and probably will only meet a handful of times in their lives. They won't be close like a sibling.
I went to Tricare last week and changed my doctor in hopes of seeing a different one who will be more compassionate. My appointment is next week and I'm part hopeful that they will have compassion on me and help with conceiving and part of me is so dreading this because I don't want another doctor to tell me that there is nothing they can do. I don't care if my husband is gone during the pregnancy or birth. We can manage. We're a military family and strong enough to handle this. What I can't handle is how doctors can't make exceptions for military families who's lives don't fit the normal cookie cutter and timeline of how things should work. My husband and I can't afford to pay out of pocket to store his semen somewhere while he is gone and go through IVF. We don't have thousands of extra dollars laying around for that. We made the decision that we will pay for IUI, but if it comes to IVF or anything, we are going to take that as a sign to stop.
Has anyone dealt with this sort of thing?