Military Families
Delivering without DH
I know I'm not the first to do it but I sure as heck don't know what to expect. Thankfully my mom will be with me but I'm still scared to death about it...hes been with me for every appointment up until this point. We're hoping he'll be able to skype in but thats no guarantee. Any advice from moms who have been there? I'm a first time mom so everything about labor is making me anxious...
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Re: Delivering without DH
I delivered without DH. I was at my parents' house while DH was on a state-side deployment and I went into labor at 36w6d. The plan was that DH and I both would be home by 39w, and neither I nor my doctor ever suspected I would go into labor early. Of course it was hard not having DH there, but my parents and sister were there with me. Skype didn't work out for us, but DH was on speaker-phone the whole time. It ended up being a pretty funny experience all in all. My active labor was less than 3 hours, so everything happened really fast. That probably helped since I didn't really have time to worry or be upset about it.
My advice would be to stay positive and try not to be anxious! My sister said I was lucky because her DH got in the way and annoyed her. LOL
DH left on his first deployment when I was 34.5 weeks pregnant with our first DD.
I moved in with his parents to make sure I had someone there when I went into labor. I had his parents film the L&D of our sweet girl. While one was filming the other one was on the phone with our FRO trying to make contact with my H's Unit.
Take lots of pictures, Film it if you're allowed (do it from the chest up, that way it's not a scary experience for either of you lol.) Make doubles of the baby's feet print and crib card and send a set to daddy, and relax because you'll do a wonderful job.
It seems like the scariest thing in the world, but when you look back on it in a few years you're going to realize that you were a lot stronger emotionally than you thought.
Good luck to you and congratulations on your baby.
Japanese hospitals film the clock so you can hear when things are happening and see how long things take. That's another option for you.
We couldn't Skype from the hospital, but since H had internet access my mom was able to e-mail him updates from my cell phone. He got pictures seconds after #2 was born, and we talked via sat phone later that day.
While having a baby without H here wasn't ideal, we made it work. My parents came down to stay with us for awhile before and after the birth (they're retired, which made it easier) and our friends and family gave us tons of support. Even some out-of-state friends managed to help out by giving me 2 weeks worth of meals prepared by a local home chef when I went back to work.
Know that it'll be hard, and know that there will be days when you resent him because you're exhausted and frustrated and lonely and he's not there to help you. Ask for help from the people who are there, though, and take as many pictures as you can. I'd also send him a daily e-mail update on how both of our kids were doing that really helped. It was almost like getting to talk at the end of each day, even though there was a time delay on his reply.
Good luck!