2u2: 9months later

isacdimi10 · April 2012

Tomorrow DS will be 9 months. I'm not even sure how that happened. Okay, I do know how but I like to stick my head in the sand.

I know many of us are KU or TTC and are headed to 2u2. So I'm gunna give some tips that 9 months later I can reflect on.

1) this will always be my first piece of advice: BREATHE! It will all be okay

2) Even if baby #2 is a different gender you don't need all different colors of stuff. Baby boy wont care/know that he rocked out in a pink bouncer chair and baby girl wont know she was swaddled in blue blankets.

3) Before #2's arrival plan your help for the first week. Make emergency plans in case labor doesn't go as expected (1 vaginal birth does not equal 2).
Make sure you have people who can take #1 at the drop of the hat from about 20 weeks on. Once you have that person, FIND ANOTHER. I went into preterm labor with DS and I (all alone because DH was at work) had to take DD to the hospital until my mom could drive 1hr home from work.

4) Even if #1 is little you can still try to get them used to the idea of a baby. DD wasn't 1 yet when DS was born.
We got a life sized baby doll for her. We put it in some of DS's clothes, we taught her nice touch, I played a recording of a baby crying while we had it out, DH and I both took turns feeding the doll. You'll feel silly but especially when LOs don't have great verbal skills play acting does a lot.

5) Be prepared for #2 to be a complete 180 from #1 and that nothing that worked for #1 is working for #2. There will be moment when you go "WTF I've done this before! What is wrong with me?" It's not you, it's them... really!

6) The first few weeks you will feel you aren't paying much attention to #1 no matter how much you really are. And when you pay attention to #1 you feel guilty not paying attention to #2. It's a guilt battle you can't win and it's best to just let go.

7) Even though #1 is still just a baby themselves don't play keep away with the baby. Put #2 on a blanket and let #1 investigate, poke, touch. Obviously stay right there to redirect aggression or "over love"

8) If you're brave and leave the house with 2u2 realize you have unfortunately hung out a welcome sign for strangers to judge, comment, and pity your life. It happens, especially when the closeness in age is so obvious.

9) Be prepared for #1 to regress! If #1 is relatively verbal, expect and accept it when they clam up.
Sleep is a big one! DD woke ever 3 hours the first few weeks which was more than DS did! She was DH's over night and I took DS.
Also a good tip to avoid bottle regression is even though you still have all of #1's bottles and think its a waste to throw them out. Do it. Get ones that look nothing like the bottles #1 had. The one time we gave DS a bottle that DD had used she threw the mother of all hissy fits.

2u2 is not as scary as it might seem. Sometimes you have to get creative and other times you really question the sanity behind the decision to have #2. In the beginning you don't really see the fruits of your labor (haha I'm funny) but around 6 months when #2 develops a personality you get to witness the amazing interaction between the kids.

Right now DS worships the ground DD walks on and she loves him a lot. They've gotten to the age where they are beginning to play together and it's really awesome.

Now remind me of these in 20 weeks. When I've forgotten them all.

Mason&Mama · April 2012

Thanks for the advice. I know of at least 6 of us on here working on 2u2, and I know that I will be looking for all the tips I can get.

jk4ever · April 2012

I am not KU, but I just have to say that I LOVE this post. I think actually, that I will save it to my computer and reference it when I have a #2. Even if they are not 2U2, because I think there is some great advice here. I have been thinking a lot about the prospect of having a #2 and have been feeling overwhelmed.

Thank you for sharing

MOONGIRL2467 · April 2012

Great advice!!

My friends daughter is 1 yr 4 months old, DD obviously 9 months. As I watched them play I imagined having her being my child.. So 2u2. ... They interacted well and were curious of each other (just met for the first time). I think having them close would be so neat, hard yes but so fun.. Just had to share that hahah

swimiz500 · April 2012

Thank you for this great advice! I know I am considering TTC now, and your post makes me feel that if I do choose to have another, it will be something I can do. It is great to hear stories from moms who've been there

hecallsmecat · April 2012

Thank you soooooooooooo much for this post. I'm 8 weeks away from my due date and starting to freak out about 2u2 (or 2u1 in my case). Saoirse has been giving us a really hard time with sleep lately (teething, I think) and I am so scared of having a newborn on top of that mess. DH and I were both up with her for 2 hours in the middle of the night last night, and after we finally got her back to sleep I had a complete crying-so-hard-snot-is-running-down-my-face-and-I-can't-breathe meltdown. Poor DH then had to calm me down.

Your post just made me feel so much better. I'm going to show it to DH as soon as he wakes up and then I'm going to print it out and carry it around with me to refer back to for the next few months.

P.S. - Love the new avatar and siggy. You seem like you really are Super Mom!

weebos8 · April 2012

Thank you for this. It helps me settle my nerves a bit as I worry about not spending enough time and energy with DS once the new baby arrives. This made me calm down a bit so thanks again!

AmandaP678 · April 2012

I'll try and add to this too.

I remember being scared to death know Mike was going to work for the first time and being alone with 2 kids... Actually it was a dentist appointment or something and I was crazy pissed he didn't reschedule .

After a little while it gets better, you develop a schedule/system that works for you and it's like you've been doing it all alone.

For bath time, I found putting them both in the bath at the same time was easier. I'd put the infant tub in the bath tub with Timmy. Now they have to have each other in the tub take a bath.

Mike works second shift, so it sucked big time when they both woke up in the middle of the night and I was by myself.

Getting them in the car used to stress me out too. I panicked how I would do it especially once Nick was out of the infant seat.

But I have Timmy put his hand on me or the car while I get Nick in the car and then go and get time in the car. Tim still needs help getting in the car/buckling too.

damabo80 · April 2012

Great advice-thanks!!!

pettycrocker · April 2012

I love this post! So many things I never would have thought of, esp. the part about getting new bottles.

Good luck to all of our expecting July momma's!

AmandaP678 · April 2012

Not sure if this was mentioned yet, but when feeding the new LO you might want to try having new "special " toys for LO to play with while you are feeding the new baby..

We also did the gift from Nick to Tim and one from, Tim to Nick. It has become Timmys favorite thing and he always makes sure Nick has his too

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2u2: 9months later

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