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June 2012 Moms
Strange
So I got a call last night from my very new sister in law. She and my brother JUST got married two weekends ago. She's excited to start shopping for the baby, which is awesome. But when I answered the call, the first question I got was:
Do you have a highchair yet??
I explained that no, we don't, because Baby won't need it for many months and it will just sit around the kitchen until then. Then she launches in to how we DO have a highchair now because she just ordered one for us. Hmmm..... Not on our registry, and now I'm cringing wondering what style she got for us-our tastes are pretty different than she and my brother's. But that's not the type of thing you can return or exchange, because she'll want to see it when she visits.
Then she spends the rest of the conversation asking if we have a bottle warmer, plain white onesies, how many bottles we have gotten, etc. None of this is on our registry and while I'm super not opposed to getting these items, it made me wonder-we DO have 160 items still on the registry. All different price points-a few dollars to larger items. Why would one deliberately go for all the times that are NOT on the registry? I was driving home and she was drilling me on bottle warmers and one of the reasons I didn't put it on the registry is because I have no idea if they work or not. I told her if she thought they were great, I'm sure we'd love one.
It was just so strange. It was as if she made of list of everything not on the registry and went straight for that stuff! Now to figure out where to store a highchair for at least 7 months.....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Strange
Not that you want to do this with your relationship with your new SIL, but you could always lie and say that you read soemwhere ot your OB said...something that was bad about them/not needed, so you exchanged it for soemthing safer/that worked or that you needed.
Honestly as a newlywed she should know better than to go off of the registry...not jsut on brand, but for things you didn't register/want/need right now...you shoudl find out if she returned stuff...then she won't really have a leg to stand on.
We got a highchair for our baby shower with DD and just left it in the box, in our garage until we needed it. It was one of the more expensive items on our registry, so I was happy to get it as a gift. But I do agree, its one of those things I wouldn't want someone to just pick out for me. Crossing my fingers for you that she got you one you will like!
And I feel you on the getting gifts not on the registry, but learned from last time this just happens with babies. Most people want to buy you stuff they think is cute and not stuff you need or want for some reason. Just keep all the gift receipts and return stuff you don't like for the stuff you need/want off your registry. That's what I did. I still do it now when MIL buys horrifically ugly or "grandma loves me" themed clothing for DD. I used to keep it, tags on and just store it away since they live across the country. Now I return it and buy stuff DD needs. MIL is stuck in the eighties style-wise. Somehow she can still find new clothing that looks like something my sister or I wore in the late eighties!!
We have a high chair already... it was on sale! And it's a space saver! However the box is not very space saving. We may have jumped the gun on that one...
But to commiserate a little, we didn't register and I didn't want a shower. My mom is throwing a "surprise" shower for me this Sunday. Obviously I know. She knows I know, and she told me that I can't tell anyone else taht I know, I have to act surprised. Anyway, so months ago she asked if we had a mobile. I told her we didn't and explained why (we actively decided not to use one, it was not just an oversight). Well she went and bought one anyway. Why would someone do that?? I very clearly explained why and then very clearly explained that it was not a budgetary issue, it wasn't an oversight, it wasn't that we couldn't find one we liked, we decided not to use one.
She even proudly told MIL she bought one. When MIL repeated that we weren't using one, my mom basically said that I don't know what I'm doing so she decided to buy one anyway. Don't mean to be a jerk, but I plan on telling her (in private) that I told her we weren't going to use one and that she can keep it or I will be exchanging it. I wouldn't normally do something like that, but I mean, she asked months ago and I explained it months ago!!
Honestly, if someone was THAT excited to buy fun baby stuff for me I would gladly welcome it with open arms and a great big smile on my face. Whether or not it was on my registry (I didn't make a registry with either baby nor do I shop off of them) I would be so grateful someone is thinking about me that much that they want to drown me in presents. And if you want to exchange the highchair then do it, don't keep an item just because you don't want to hurt her feeling the few times she'll be coming over. Simply explain it wasn't exactly what you were looking for so you exchanged it for one you did a lot of research on and preferred.
And if it is all new stuff you should be able to exchange it for cash back, store credit, or a different item of your liking.
I just never understand when people complain about receiving gifts. Would you rather no one ever buy you a single thing at all?
THIS! I mean seriously!! Your getting a gift from someone! Is it costing you ANYTHING? No. I think your SIL is bein very sweet and trying to do good with you. I for sure would not be on here complaining about it!
I don't think I'm complaining. Just reflecting. We're super low maintenance about everything, really. It just seems odd. We don't have a ton of space at our place-I run a business out of the garage and we're working to get as much stuff out of there as possible just to fit the stroller in (it's a warehouse business). Sooo it's going to be tough to find the space for the high chair. But I agree-it's a very kind gesture. I just thought it was a bit odd, seeing as we do have so many other items and it was if she found the few items that weren't on the registry. But then again-maybe she DID look for items that weren't on there, thinking that no one else would get them for us so she should. Who knows? Again, not complaining at all. Just trying to figure it out.
And I do find it a bit funny that she hit on the high chair. I had specifically read that you should not get one so far in advance because it takes up so much room, so that was the one reason I didn't put it on the registry! Hahah. Now I guess maybe I should have!
I'm sure we'll love it.
Running Blog
I guess it is nice of her. She probably doesn't get it as she has no baby yet and wanted to surprise you with something she thought you would need but hadn't thought of.
I just can not believe how much stuff these babies need! I did not have a shower (my choice) and I feel like my house is filled to the brim with crap! And I only have about 65% of the stuff that people are insisting I need!
Don't want to complain about the luxury of being able to provide this nice stuff for Baby Girl, but it is pretty overwhelming...
FYI...we started using our high chair with DS when he was 4 months old, so really it isn't too far off.
Sounds to me like she is excited to get stuff for the baby and is probably wanting to buy things she thinks you will need. Honestly I realize now that I had NO IDEA what I did and did not need, even after doing research, until after my son was born. I made many, many trips to BRU to get the things I didn't know I needed (or liked better than what I *thought* I needed to have). Heck, I'm still learning what I need and don't need. I didn't think I needed a bottle warmer, but then I went out and bought one because I wasn't comfortable putting a bottle in the microwave and a cup of warm water didn't work fast enough for DS, who wanted a very warm bottle (and fast!). So you never know, she may end up buying that item for you that you never knew you would love.