So - just curious. Has anyone else had a major relationship change with their in-laws since little one was born? If it has how are you dealing with it? My MIL is not very good to my son and it KILLS me! This has really complicated our relationship. I never cared before if she kind of ran over my husband and I - but I stand up for my son. She is so impatient with him - I honestly don't know any infant who will sit in a car seat for hours on end, or who can entertain themselves (which is just one of the issues... I don't want to go off right now). IDK... any thoughts?
Re: Relationship with the In-laws
My in laws are out of state so I don't have too many issues with them. The first couple of times we went over MIL would attempt to say or do something but I am very outspoken and addressed the issue very politely before it went too far. DH supports me so that?s a plus.
When DS was born she tried to over step her boundaries and I immediately informed her that this was our LO and she had the opportunity to raise DH; and this was our chance to raise our LO. She wasn't too happy but I'm glad that did because Thank God she respects my decisions now.
Not good but it really wasn't before. MIL sees LO maybe once a month even though she lives 5 minutes away.. She just doesn't care unless it's a good time for her. Obviously LO doesn't even know who she is abd doesn't like her (she isn't good with him at all).
She will ask to keep him randomly even though I have told her she needs to spend more time with him so he knows her before I leave him with her. Obviously all talks go in one ear and out the other because she just asked to keep him tinight (we haven't seen her in several weeks). Not happening.
wow, 5 minutes away???? Not cool. I agree with you on not leaving LO with her.
My IL's are divorced but before LO was here MIL didn't really make any attempt to see us (which was fine with me after she threatened a blood bath at our wedding because FIL was going to bring his girlfeind, told us she had no reason to stay living in MN, told me I was getting big at 16 weeks....no one else seemed to think so since I lost 10 lbs). Now that DS is here she wants to see him at least once a week.
This really irks me that she could have cared less to see DH but now wants to see DS frequently. It hurts my feelings that she did not make that effort with her son.
My MIL drives me crazy! She's constantly telling me that LO is starving because I breastfeed and that I need to let LO CIO. LO goes to bed with no problems most nights and sleep six hours, eats and then sleeps another six hours.
I've told her over and over that what LO eats is not up for discussion and neither is how I put her to sleep. Hasn't stopped her from constantly telling me what I'm doing wrong.
Somehow bringing a kid into the mix just ups the ante. Despite our differences, we got along well until the end of my pregnancy. This is the first grandchild for their family, and my MIL just cannot respect our parenting. Every.little.thing has become this passive aggressive power struggle now. I really like the PP who said 'you got to parent DH, now we get to parent LO'. Unfortunately, that approach totally backfired for us. What we've tried to do is pick our battles and try and compromise where I can. On the non-negotiables, I just try to be firm and avoid situations that are likely to cause conflict. Also, I try to have DH handle disagreements and planning issues so it lessens the negative vibes between me and MIL. Maybe you could just limit how long she's left with the baby, or not let her have him unsupervised. Could you suggest an activity for them to do, or meet up at a park?
I'm really upset about all my IL drama, because growing up both of my parents were very vocal about how much they hated their IL's. It was hard for me as a kid being in the middle of that, because I liked all my grandparents/aunts/uncles. I thought I was so lucky my IL's were so sweet, but it's been a total 180 since we brought this kid into the world. Ugh.