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I am having a moment....

Roxie5739Roxie5739 member
in Infertility Veterans

I have been feeling down in the dumps for a few days. I am sure it is the BCP playing funny buggers with me but also too that my niece has been in hospital for the last 5 days with numerous false starts for having her baby. Apparently she is being induced now.

I am feeling like an uncaring b*tch right now as I really do not care for the numerous updates from my family, I am teary at the drop of a hat and DH is shitiingmeupawall today. DH even suggested just before that we should be a Disney pass for when our UK guests come as we can go back during the year.....errrrr.....ummmm... If Dr.B does his job I will be KU and cannot go on any rides......

I know that I am overly sensitive at the moment, I know my niece's news is bearing down on me right now. How is it that that life gets out of order and my 2 young nieces get to have children before me, both do not work and have no ambition to. Generation Y&Z just kill me.

I know that once I wake up tomorrow and get the official news it wil hit me again.  

Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
 

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Re: I am having a moment....

  • amethystgrrlamethystgrrl member
    I'm sorry... it sounds as though you're dealing with lots of things simultaneously. And no, it's not fair. Thinking of you..
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  • BeeBee08BeeBee08 member

    Big ((hugs)).  I'm sorry and I understand what you mean.  I am one of a very few nieces in our family who didn't come home at 17 or 18 KU.  Now I kind of wish I did...

    It really sucks, and DH's head just isn't working properly right now. 

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • AmCheriAmCheri member
    Hugs. :( Sorry you're having one of those days. Not that it'll help, but I think Disney can be fun without the big rides. Though I'm not sure being run down by families and strollers is what you need right now. 
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
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  • jessican08jessican08 member
    I'm so sorry you're going through all this, Roxie ((BIG HUGS)).
    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • GregermisGregermis member
    ((((HUGS)))) 
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


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  • thewormstheworms member

    ((HUGS))

    it sucks and it hurts

    do something nice for yourself, i think you need a pedi

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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  • winofairywinofairy
    Big BIG (((HUGS)))!  I am sorry you are feeling so down.  You have so much going on at one time.  I hope you have a great time with your friends when they are in town!
    BabyFruit Ticker

    06.10.12 +HPT 06.12.12 Beta #1 = 2,770 06.14.12 Beta #2 = 6,300
    1st U/S 06.18.12 2nd U/S 06.25.12
    09.24.12 It's a Boy!! ---> Jacob Owen

    Our IF Journey Began: October 2009
    **8 Failed IUI's, 1 Blighted Ovum, & 1 Failed IVF**
    Dx: MFI, DOR w/MTHFR Homozygous A1298C & Hypothyroidism
    03.2012 Lab Results: FSH 6.83 AMH 0.67 TSH 3.8 E2 17
    SA 156 million 93% motility 3% morphology

    Follow Me on Pinterest
    **~PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome~**
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  • reb259reb259 member
    hugs!!
    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
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  • Roxie5739Roxie5739 member

    Thanks all. I just have too much going on right now and I feel as if I am about to break. Between the stress of buying a house with BIL as the realtor who IMO is incompetent, working, dealing with family issues, trying to have a house that I feel proud of for visitors, mentally prepping for a work trip next week where I need to manage the Board Meeting, IF stress generally and the lack of sleep it is just getting me down.

    I know it is a phase, I know that I am just having a pity party for one but I am so afraid that if I try to talk to DH about it I will just breakdown and I am trying to be strong.

    Just got to get through the next 24 hours and I am sure that I will be Ok.

    P.S. Seems niece was not induced last night as I was told and it will be Monday so that part of my bitterness right now will be around for a while longer

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    imageRoxie5739:

    Thanks all. I just have too much going on right now and I feel as if I am about to break. Between the stress of buying a house with BIL as the realtor who IMO is incompetent, working, dealing with family issues, trying to have a house that I feel proud of for visitors, mentally prepping for a work trip next week where I need to manage the Board Meeting, IF stress generally and the lack of sleep it is just getting me down.

    I know it is a phase, I know that I am just having a pity party for one but I am so afraid that if I try to talk to DH about it I will just breakdown and I am trying to be strong.

    Just got to get through the next 24 hours and I am sure that I will be Ok.

    P.S. Seems niece was not induced last night as I was told and it will be Monday so that part of my bitterness right now will be around for a while longer

    Hugs. I feel the same about being way to overloaded and being about to combust. My life is totally crazy and there's nothing I can do about it. Trying to fit in another IVF cycle with lots of work/life issues going on is just too much at certain points of the day. I totally understand where you are coming from.  Take a deep breath and keep going. We're here for you.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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