....:: ~ {.TTCAL "Newbie" Check-In.} ~ ::....

KacyChicago · April 2012

Hey ladies! Hope you're having a great day! I'm in and out today, thanks to a very busy schedule at work, and of course, dealing with my own crap. Ha. But I'll be sure to check back in with you all, and I hope you're doing really well in the healing/TTCAL process.

This is a weekly check in for the newer members of the board ... So, if you are new to TTCAL, please feel free to join us here.

Welcome to Trying to Conceive After Loss!

I'm so sorry for your loss but am happy you have found us. This board is full of brilliant and kind women who have experienced the hardship of losing that which is most precious, and I hope you find great comfort and support here in your journey to your rainbow baby.

For those of you so new you don't know the routine, this is a check-in for newer members of the TTCAL Board. Please feel free to use this space to ask those "newbie" questions that feel intimidating to ask on the main board, I will try my best to get you an answer.

Please take the time to read the TTCAL blog to answer any questions you may have regarding our board etiquette, trying to conceive, miscarriages and loss, and much more: https://www.ttcalblog.blogspot.com/

Finally, If you haven't done so, please post your introduction on the main board including your story, and tell us a little about yourself here.

So, who are you? How are you doing? Any updates?

LAST WEEK'S CHECK-INS:

klbowie: How are things going this week? I was happy to see that your ultrasound went well, but what's the latest on your levels? Hoping everything gets back to normal soon, and you're on your way to TTC.

behapy2day: How did this last week go for you in the TTC department? I know that y'all are being lax about at the moment (Kudos!) so how are you actually feeling now that you're 3DPO?

andreagb: I can't chart-stalk you, so I have no idea how you're doing this cycle! I know you weren't feeling that optimistic last week, but what about now?

expatmama: How are things going with you? Are you still liking the therapist you chose? I meet with mine for the first time on Monday, and I'm a little nervous!

ncchnat: How's things, dancing queen? I assume you're probably just waiting for AF, and I hope you're doing really well!

Cubskers: YOU ARE ON MY MIND BIG TIME!!! I am currently sending every positive vibe in me your way, and really hoping this is it for y'all!

Mash67: Hope they have found out by now why your best friend has been so sick ... I've been thinking of you both. Where are you at in your cycle now?

CCline09: I've been thinking about you this week ... Any word on AF? Have you seen your doctor yet? Your post earlier this week about wanting an ultrasound picture made me ache for you. Just know how sorry I am for you. (Big hugs.)

NBBride05: How's your head doing, lady? Got your staples out yet? I know you were waiting to O last week, so how do you think your timing was this cycle?

Elle jM: Still waiting to O, I presume! What cycle day are you on? I'm really hoping it gets back to normal for you soon. (And you're happier with DH!)

barbie92: How did the HSG go? I'm not sure if I missed an update on either board, so just know I have been wondering about you! Hope it wasn't as painful as you thought it would be, and that they didn't find any abnormalities.

Actingdiva09: How are you doing this week? Here's hoping that the gland infection has somewhat subsided, and you're feeling better down there. I know it may be too soon for AF, but seeing any signs of her?

lovelainie: How are you feeling emotionally this week? I know you've had a tough time lately, and I hope you're feeling much better! Still waiting to O, I presume? Hopefully the Clomid has been better on you this week.

pkaren: I am so sorry to see that you're still waiting on AF! But I'm hoping since you think you O'd last week that she'll come very soon.

mamato3boys: How are things going for you emotionally? I know you said you were ready to return to your normal, happy self, and I'm hoping you're closer to that goal. It's hard allowing yourself time to heal, believe me, I know.

twotexans: Still waiting to O, or have we passed that yet? (Here's hoping!) Have you been able to keep your optimism up this week? If so, got any secrets to it? Ha. Hope you're doing well!

Tip of the week: If the demands of your hectic life have dampened your sex drive, it's a good idea to start having sex more often. Some research suggests that women who engage in regular (at least weekly) intercourse are more likely to have predictable menstrual cycles and normal ovulation than women who have sporadic sex. One theory: Your husband emits sex hormones that influence your reproductive system. Weekly sex may also make you produce more estrogen. And there's no question that frequent sex helps when you're actually trying to conceive.

Quote of the week: "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." {Napoleon Hill}

The GTKY of the week is: What is your favorite thing about your husband? How has he helped you through the TTCAL journey? (Just for you Elle jM! Ha.)

Have a wonderful week ladies, and don't hesitate to ask any questions here!

twotexans · April 2012

I'm doing the happy dance over here, since I got a +LH surge this weekend. I shot myself full of Ovidrel on Saturday, and started estrogen and progesterone supplements last night. Well find out on Cinco de Mayo if I can have a margarita or not!

As for the optimism--the gym and long walks are my friend. They are really helping.

The GTKY of the week is: What is your favorite thing about your husband? How has he helped you through the TTCAL journey?

My husband tends to be the worlds biggest pessimist about most things, but not when it has come to TTC. I think his positive attitude has really helped. He's helped me realize that is not my fault, even though my body seems to be the one that has caused us so much trouble in TTC, and we are in this together through thick and thin. He is confident we will have a baby. That blind faith keeps me grounded and I know that I am not alone. This last year and a half of TTC and the miscarriage has really brought us closer and solidified our marriage. He also gives the world's best hugs, so that helps a lot too.

blessedhope · April 2012

Hi Kacy and hi to all the other newbies.

GTKY; What is your favorite thing about your husband? I love to just sit and cuddle and he is happy just laying around and cuddling me for hours

Elle jM · April 2012

Hi Ladies.

Cycle day 11 for me. Other than that, nothing new to report here.

Gee thanks for the GTKY question! I'm still not thrilled with him, but those OPK lines are getting darker so I have to suck it up soon!

In all seriousness- I love that we can just be together. We dont have to be doing anything particular, or special. It always just feels right. He's incredibly supportive, and encourages me to do things I don't think I can. There's not much I don't love about him (usually!).

barbie92 · April 2012

My HSG test went really well! I was nervous at first because the doctor doing it didn't seem to know what the heck he was doing, however the tech that was with him was super sweet and she knew what she was doing. The procedure its self wasn't bad at all- I didn't even have any cramping! They told me that everything looked great So now we are officially TTC. I am nervous because I am scared that I might lose another baby.

You have been in my thoughts- How have you been doing? I want you to know how much I appreciate this post each week and your thoughtfulness.

GTKY: My favorite thing about my husband is how sweet and caring he is. He has been so great since we lost Robby.

lovelainie · April 2012

I'm doing better, I think. I've been doing some writing, which has helped me immensely, and I'm channeling a lot of frustration through my gardening (which is pretty typical of me).

Still waiting to O--OPKs are all but positive, so it should be soon, which is good because I'm really frustrated with having to make sure we're having sex EOD.

Clomid side effects aren't as bad this time around, and my hot flashes have calmed down a bit so I'm only having one or two a day now (compared with one every thirty minutes or so last week).

I actually do have a question: I'm using wondfo OPKs. One side of the line is darker than the other--as in, one edge of the line is as dark as the control line, but the other edge is lighter. Is this a fade-in?

GTKY:

What I love most about DH is that he is my complete and total opposite. He's good at saving money, and cleaning house, and is all-around more practical than I am most of the time. Those are also the things that I've appreciated more since our loss. He's done a good job of holding everything together when I feel like I'm falling apart.

pkaren · April 2012

Hi Ladies! Yup...still waiting on the witch. CD 50 today! I'm officially worried and a little bit mad. I'm not even postive I O'ed but if I did, FF says I should see AF on May 1. If I don't see her by the end of next week, I'm going to call my OB GYN.

GTKY: I love my DH's sense of humour! He's my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's been super supportive and protective, letting me be sad and I pretty much got anything I wanted for a couple of weeks after. In hindsight, I should have milked it more, but I was too devistated. I did get a new Coach purse AND Coach wallet because "I deserve it".

KacyChicago · April 2012

expatmama:
Hi everyone - I have to say, I love reading your summaries KacyC, I always feel so caught up afterwards. I try to read everyones, but it is nice to see everything in one place. Thanks for putting so much time into this.
I am still seeing the counselor. I have found it has been really helpful now that I am dealing with a bit of anger in the grief process. Better to deal with it there than at home. I had my follow-up appointment as well, and let out some of my anger there, too. Since they wanted to know how I felt about my medical care and what not. I think I got pretty good care, but there were a few issues along the way and it was good to get that out. Otherwise they told me nothing new and I was annoyed I took off work to go.

You are so very welcome. I love that this is a place for everyone to kind of get to know each other. I assume that most of y'all were on the Miscarriage/Loss board together, and I like that everyone can keep up with the others' progress.

I am so sorry to hear that you're dealing with some anger issues, although it's not too far-fetched. My loss has brought up a whole mass of emotions for me, so I can totally understand being mad. I think it's awesome that you are dealing with it through a counselor, and I look forward to dealing with some of my stuff as well. I'm also happy that you got to vent about your care, as I see there are a couple of things care-wise, that I feel I am struggling with most. But it's always annoying to take off work!

I hope you have a great week.

KacyChicago · April 2012

ncchnat:

Dancing queen! I love it, especially since we have a performance this weekend which means I'm eating, drinking, and sleeping dance this week. Yep, just waiting for AF to come and then no more charting or condoms for me.
T's been really supportive since our loss. He knew I wanted to name our baby, but I couldn't even think about it without breaking down completely. He's the one who came up with the idea of naming him after our dads. (I'd been calling him Tiny because of how little he was when I delivered.) He's recently started standing up to his mother, whom we all know from my vents about her is the b!tch from hell. He was a total momma's boy before, both he and his brother, so it's wonderful to see. We're getting ready to start TTC and I'm stressed out already, which is why he suggested not charting. He just seems to be more understanding since our loss. We used to argue a lot (nothing serious; we're both Type A and don't back down.) but we haven't had one since losing William. I know that won't last, but I really appreciate it right now. There's no way I could have gotten through ths without him.

Good luck this weekend! I know preparing for that has got to take a lot out of you! I love that you and our husband dance together, and he really does sound like a wonderful person. It's tough, going through something like this, and I know that every couple can come out stronger, or either a bit broken. It's wonderful to hear that you haven't argued since y'all lost William, and I think that's really a testament to both of you. I know that we're closer than we've ever been, and I never thought we could even be that!

So happy it's almost no-condom time, as that's a big milestone. I am glad that y'all are going to just see what happens. Having had a surprise pregnancy, I often wonder how a planned-down-to-the-minute one is going to feel! Ha.

Thinking of you as you dance away!

NBBride05 · April 2012

I should get my staples out tomorrow Kacy! Thanks for asking. My head is much better! I think we timed it well this month - the two nights before O day. We shall see.

KacyChicago · April 2012

twotexans:
I'm doing the happy dance over here, since I got a +LH surge this weekend. I shot myself full of Ovidrel on Saturday, and started estrogen and progesterone supplements last night. Well find out on Cinco de Mayo if I can have a margarita or not!
My husband tends to be the worlds biggest pessimist about most things, but not when it has come to TTC. I think his positive attitude has really helped. He's helped me realize that is not my fault, even though my body seems to be the one that has caused us so much trouble in TTC, and we are in this together through thick and thin. He is confident we will have a baby. That blind faith keeps me grounded and I know that I am not alone. This last year and a half of TTC and the miscarriage has really brought us closer and solidified our marriage. He also gives the world's best hugs, so that helps a lot too.

So glad to know you're in the midst of getting knocked up. (Thinking positively here, so here's hoping it IS your cycle!) I also like that you have Cinco de Mayo as your draw date! I'm wishing for you to have a virgin one, believe me. It's hard seeing how tough it's been for y'all, and I hate that sometimes life just isn't fair.

I appreciate how much you and your husband have grown through this, and I really think it's a make-or-break situation. It's wonderful how optimistic he is about it all, and I'm so glad he's helped you see that none of this is your fault! We are given the hand's we're dealt with, and we try to make the best of it, and nothing beyond your control can you ever feel bad about. I, like him, think the struggle will all be worth it in the end. Best of luck to you this week, you're in my thoughts!

kmo630 · April 2012

I did an intro post last week, but didn't get a chance to post on the check-in. I also did an intro in the multiple loss check-in below, so I included that here also...

I had my son in July of 2010. We started trying for #2 in Sept. 2011. They suspect I had a chemical pregnancy that same month, but it was never confirmed. I then found out I was pregnant again Dec. 1st 2011. I was bleeding often, but everything was appearing to progress as it should. We even saw the heartbeat twice. At 9w5d (Jan 12th), there was no longer a heartbeat and there was a large clot behind the placenta. After meds didn't work, I had a d&c. EDD was August 12th, 2012. I once again found out I was pregnant on March 14th. I once again had spotting, but it was just a little. An u/s at 5w5d, showed just a sac. Again at 6w3d, there was an empty sac. We decided to wait one more week to be sure. At 7w3d, when there was still only an empty sac, my doctor was positive that it was a blighted ovum. I had a d&c 2 weeks ago tomorrow. EDD was November 25th, 2012.

What is your favorite thing about your husband? How has he helped you through the TTCAL journey?

He is a very sweet and considerate guy and I absolutely adore that about him. He has been wonderful. It has been very difficult on him too, but he has been trying so hard to be strong for me. He is always there to talk and tries in every way to make day to day life easier for me.

KacyChicago · April 2012

blessedhope:
Hi Kacy and hi to all the other newbies.

GTKY; What is your favorite thing about your husband? I love to just sit and cuddle and he is happy just laying around and cuddling me for hours

Hello there, lady! It's good to "see" you here. I hope things are going pretty well for you, as I know the next few weeks are going to be tough for you. But know I'm thinking of you as Titus' birthday approaches.

KacyChicago · April 2012

Elle jM:
Hi Ladies.

Cycle day 11 for me. Other than that, nothing new to report here.

Gee thanks for the GTKY question! I'm still not thrilled with him, but those OPK lines are getting darker so I have to suck it up soon!

In all seriousness- I love that we can just be together. We dont have to be doing anything particular, or special. It always just feels right. He's incredibly supportive, and encourages me to do things I don't think I can. There's not much I don't love about him (usually!).

Well, you did say ask you tomorrow, so I took it to heart! Ha. But I am glad to see what you love about him today, even if you're still not thrilled with him! I'm happy to see that you're going to take one for the team so you can get your groove on ... But it's always hard to swallow your pride, especially when it's his fault! Wink

Thinking of you, and hoping this is your cycle ... Come on sperm, please meet egg. Ha.

KacyChicago · April 2012

barbie92:
My HSG test went really well! I was nervous at first because the doctor doing it didn't seem to know what the heck he was doing, however the tech that was with him was super sweet and she knew what she was doing. The procedure its self wasn't bad at all- I didn't even have any cramping! They told me that everything looked great So now we are officially TTC. I am nervous because I am scared that I might lose another baby.
You have been in my thoughts- How have you been doing? I want you to know how much I appreciate this post each week and your thoughtfulness.

Thanks so much for thinking of me, as it means an awful lot. I've been better, but I am really trying to stay as positive as I can. I usually can get over things fairly easily, so this has been hard. But I have a lot of hope my angst is fleeting, and we'll get through this!

I am so very glad that everything went well with your HSG, although I would have been scared to death if he didn't know what he was doing! I know you were relieved when the tech stepped in, and I am so very thankful to hear that you had no cramping, and that everything looked great.

Congratulations on officially being in the TTC world again, although I know you are scared. (We're months away, and I'm already worried about it all.) Try not to be afraid, although I know it's easier said than done. The unfortunate thing is that we are not in control of it all, but that being said, we'll never get what we want if we don't try.

By the way, I love the bookshelves in Robby's room, they're just beautiful. I am so proud of you that you can leave the door open now, and I hope soon your rainbow baby will know how much his/her brother was loved. Thinking of you this week as y'all move forward!

KacyChicago · April 2012

{lovelaine, mamato3boys, pkaren, NBBride05, kmo630}

Ladies, please forgive me ... It's been a LONG day! I don't really want to give half-a** responses now that I'm fading, so I'm going to check in with you lovelies tomorrow! I am thinking of you all, and I'm so glad you're here, but hate you're here all in the same.

Hope you guys have a wonderful Friday ... It's almost the weekend! Geeked

KacyChicago · April 2012

lovelainie:
I'm doing better, I think. I've been doing some writing, which has helped me immensely, and I'm channeling a lot of frustration through my gardening (which is pretty typical of me).
Still waiting to O--OPKs are all but positive, so it should be soon, which is good because I'm really frustrated with having to make sure we're having sex EOD.
I actually do have a question: I'm using wondfo OPKs. One side of the line is darker than the other--as in, one edge of the line is as dark as the control line, but the other edge is lighter. Is this a fade-in?

Of course you would ask me a question that I'll struggle to answer, but I'll try. Ha. Fade-in actually refers to the pattern all of you OPKs take as you pee on them while testing. They will obviously start out light, and then get darker to closer you get to O, therefore, fading in. I used Wondfos for two cycles, and sometimes it does show a darker line on one side than the other, and I would always go by the darker side of the line. I saw you got a positive this morning, so get to it lady, even though I know sometimes it can be frustrating.

I know how much writing can help when you're feeling down, so I am very happy that you're doing that. And, I'm actually jealous! I've been able to write about our loss, but since then, I do have a bit of writer's block, which isn't good, considering I'm a writer as well as a designer. Indifferent It'll change soon, I hope! Also glad that you're already getting to garden ... I can't wait to do that either, although mine is just a little herb garden on my back porch. Ha. But I know how something like that can really help you when you're frustrated, which I hate that you are!

So go get knocked up this weekend, OK. That'll really help ... Thinking of you!

Cubskers · April 2012

Hey all - sorry I'm late! I've enjoyed reading the updates and send (hugs) to those that need them!

IUI #3 was yesterday. I'm feeling more positive about this cycle than I did last month. 2 good follicles, great lining and great sample from my DH, so hopefully the miracle will begin.

Kacy - been thinking about you, girl and hoping that you've had an easier week. Keep me posted on the appointment next week. I'll be interested to hear what your take on counseling is.

GTKY - You can't double dip! You used this question on the Forever Firecrackers check in So, I'll have to think of something else. I love that my DH has picked up a lot of my slack. I used to keep a pristine house and do a lot of cooking. For Christmas, he got me a roomba (LOVE IT), so I don't have to clean the floors as often and he's been grilling and making sure dinner plans are taken care of. He's really stepped up and I love him for that.

Have a great weekend ladies!

KacyChicago · April 2012

mamato3boys:
Thanks so much for taking the time to do this weekly check-in, you are such a sweetheart. Well this is cd6. We were planning on waiting one extra month, but since everything with our insurance went through quickly, and the fact that I am finally feeling like my old self again, has made us decide to not waste any extra time and start trying this cycle! I did have an appointment with my midwife who suggested I take extra folic acid, a baby aspirin, and some progesterone cream (they will test my levels if I get a bfp and give me a prescription if needed). All these things fell in the it might help/can't hurt category. I am super excited to have a plan and feel like I am doing all I can to make things work. I am really anxious to start ttc, but so full of fear. All I can do is take it one day at a time.

How about you? Your so busy checking on every one. Are you doing o.k.? Make sure you are taking time to take care of yourself also!

Thanks for checking on me! I can say that I am doing somewhat better, but it has been a tough few weeks inside of a tough few months. But I have faith that this will subside soon. I'm going to see a therapist Monday night, and I know it's going to be good to just talk about my loss. I'm actually excited, and not dreading it at all. Smile

I hate seeing that you're nervous about TTC again and/or you feel guilty. (I saw your post on the main board just now.) It is such a mix of emotions, I know. And I agree, that you really can only take it one day at a time. The thing is, you will never replace the baby you lost, plain and simple, it's not possible. I say that to say you trying again does not mean you have forgotten about the one you lost. So there is no reason to feel guilty. None at all.

It's wonderful that you have a plan going forward though, as that always helps ease your fears some. The one you're on is quite common too, so here's hoping with everything that it does the trick!

I hope you have a really great week ... Try not to be too hard on yourself, and just take everything one day at a time!

KacyChicago · April 2012

pkaren:
Hi Ladies! Yup...still waiting on the witch. CD 50 today! I'm officially worried and a little bit mad. I'm not even postive I O'ed but if I did, FF says I should see AF on May 1. If I don't see her by the end of next week, I'm going to call my OB GYN.

GTKY: I love my DH's sense of humour! He's my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's been super supportive and protective, letting me be sad and I pretty much got anything I wanted for a couple of weeks after. In hindsight, I should have milked it more, but I was too devistated. I did get a new Coach purse AND Coach wallet because "I deserve it".

I keep watching that number grow, and I just hurt for you. I know it has got to be frustrating, so just know how very sorry I am. Now, that being said, stop worrying, you're going to be fine, as it is quite common after a miscarriage ... At least you know that one of two things are going to happen now: You'll start on your own in the next nine days, or your doctor will more-than-likely put you on Provera to hopefully coax the b**** back to town. And for the last time for a while, I will to your uterus. Ha.

Your husband sounds like a great guy too, and it's sweet that he bought you something lavish during this time. It's wonderful whatever they do to show you you're special, and I agree you do deserve it!

I'm hoping to hear a great update from you this week, but try not to stress out about it too much, she'll come back!

KacyChicago · April 2012

{NBBride05, kmo630, Cubskers, ncchnat}

I've got to head into work now, so I'll be talking to y'all the minute I get back in front of my computer.

I appreciate all of you being so patient with me this week, because my main stresser (work) continues to be coming for me, and we're slammed at the moment. I never want to be just like "Hugs. Have a good week!" ... I really enjoy talking to, and caring for, you girls! Geeked

klbowie · April 2012

Sorry I'm a day late. I have been in training most of the week for work so my access to a computer has been limited. (pregnancy mentioned..not me)

My levels are still going down but very very slow. It only went down 20 this past week. This has been the progess:

March 30 - 155,203

April 9 - 1,006

April 18 - 796

April 25 - 777

I am getting really frustrate with the slow progress but the doctors are not worried. They told me it could take up to 90 days to get to zero and as long as they go down its ok. I have been cramping for a few days now and I thought it was AF coming until I got my last results.

I am trying to stay positive but I feel like everytime I start feeling happy again I get hit with a set back. This past week has been especially hard. I found out my ex of seven years' girlfriend is pregnant and they weren't even trying!!! Her and I are friends (long story) and I am happy for her but it just reminded me how I am not. And my husband is out of town working for up to a month. So I am all alone at home and dealing with my crazy emotions. Also, where he is working (up in the mountains) has very limited cell service so I don't get to talk to him much.

Augh.. I am just glad today is Friday! I am getting a couple bottles of wine for tomorrow and watch movies all day!

klbowie · April 2012

Oops I forgot to

GTKY; What is your favorite thing about your husband?

I love the fact every morning when he is out of town he texts me "Good Morning Beautiful. Have a great day." He gets up super early for work. My favorite thins about my husband is he puts a smile on my face. He can make me laugh at the drop of hat, whether I'm sad, mad, or ok. He lights up my world.

Kacy, I hope you are doing better!

barbie92 · April 2012

KacyChicago:
barbie92:
My HSG test went really well! I was nervous at first because the doctor doing it didn't seem to know what the heck he was doing, however the tech that was with him was super sweet and she knew what she was doing. The procedure its self wasn't bad at all- I didn't even have any cramping! They told me that everything looked great So now we are officially TTC. I am nervous because I am scared that I might lose another baby.
You have been in my thoughts- How have you been doing? I want you to know how much I appreciate this post each week and your thoughtfulness.
Thanks so much for thinking of me, as it means an awful lot. I've been better, but I am really trying to stay as positive as I can. I usually can get over things fairly easily, so this has been hard. But I have a lot of hope my angst is fleeting, and we'll get through this!
I am so very glad that everything went well with your HSG, although I would have been scared to death if he didn't know what he was doing! I know you were relieved when the tech stepped in, and I am so very thankful to hear that you had no cramping, and that everything looked great.
Congratulations on officially being in the TTC world again, although I know you are scared. (We're months away, and I'm already worried about it all.) Try not to be afraid, although I know it's easier said than done. The unfortunate thing is that we are not in control of it all, but that being said, we'll never get what we want if we don't try.
By the way, I love the bookshelves in Robby's room, they're just beautiful. I am so proud of you that you can leave the door open now, and I hope soon your rainbow baby will know how much his/her brother was loved. Thinking of you this week as y'all move forward!

I was going to ask the doctor if he knew what he was doing, but the tech stepped in so I felt a little better. The nurse at my OB's office told me that my doctor would be there, so when she wasn't that worried me a little bit! But, it wasn't too bad so I guess it worked out fine.

My husband said the same thing- that we won't ever get what we want if we don't try. It is difficult, but I am glad that I have friends here who can relate to the feeling. I wish that we didn't have to know the feeling, but knowing that I am not alone is nice.

You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and thanks again for this weekly check in. ((Hugs))

CCline09 · April 2012

I am a little late on this...took a mini break this week.

You are so sweet Kacy. Still no AF---I called my OB and she said to wait another 4 weeks and call back if it hasn't come. It seems like a long time to wait, but I am TTA anyway so I guess it doesn't matter. And I am sad about my ultrasound picture...just trying to let it go and not kick myself for not asking.

GTKY-- Good question as DH and I have been at odds this week. I guess as much as I hate this about him, its also a good trait. He is very laid back and easy going. Which is good for a high strung person like me. As far as helping me through my TTCAL journey--I don't really know if he has been much help. Just indifferent.

KacyChicago · April 2012

NBBride05:
I should get my staples out tomorrow Kacy! Thanks for asking. My head is much better! I think we timed it well this month - the two nights before O day. We shall see.

Hope everything went OK with getting your staples out! I had staples twice on my elbow, and I never would have let the take them out the first time had I known they were actually closed like they were. Gives me the Heebie-jeebies just thinking about it now.

Fingers crossed this is your cycle! I'm glad to hear you had good timing ... Best of luck to y'all!

KacyChicago · April 2012

kmo630:

I had my son in July of 2010. We started trying for #2 in Sept. 2011. They suspect I had a chemical pregnancy that same month, but it was never confirmed. I then found out I was pregnant again Dec. 1st 2011. I was bleeding often, but everything was appearing to progress as it should. We even saw the heartbeat twice. At 9w5d (Jan 12th), there was no longer a heartbeat and there was a large clot behind the placenta. After meds didn't work, I had a d&c. EDD was August 12th, 2012. I once again found out I was pregnant on March 14th. I once again had spotting, but it was just a little. An u/s at 5w5d, showed just a sac. Again at 6w3d, there was an empty sac. We decided to wait one more week to be sure. At 7w3d, when there was still only an empty sac, my doctor was positive that it was a blighted ovum. I had a d&c 2 weeks ago tomorrow. EDD was November 25th, 2012.

Hi there. I am so sorry that I missed your intro, so welcome to the board. My heart breaks for you that you've had these losses back-to-back, and I am so very sorry for all that you and your husband have been through in the past few months. It sounds like he's taking good care of you, so that is wonderful to hear.

I actually lost our baby on Jan. 12, so that date holds sad significance for me as well. We found out on Jan. 10 at our NT scan there was no longer a heartbeat. I used the medication, which thankfully did work for me, so I am sorry to hear that it did not work for you the first time. I also hate to hear you've had to have another so soon after. Just make sure that you allow yourself time to grieve your losses, as that's one of the best things you can do. I'll be thinking of you in the coming weeks for sure!

Your son is simply adorable, and I hope he's been taking really great care of his Mommy. I hope you and your family have a great week!

pkaren · April 2012

Update! FF gave me crosshairs on day 48, so new AF ETA is May 9th, my effing wedding anniversary! What a B!itch! Lol

KacyChicago · April 2012

ncchnat:
KacyChicago:

Having had a surprise pregnancy, I often wonder how a planned-down-to-the-minute one is going to feel! Ha.

Our last one was planned down to the minute: eight months of temping, tracking CM and periods, and BDing like crazy to the point that the month we conceived, it really felt more like work than anything else. I was so stressed out which is why we're going the opposite way now. Hopefully, that works because I know if after a few months, we're going to be back to the crazy me and I don't think T likes her. I know he loves her, but liking? Not so much.

I meant to ask how you're doing. I know you mentioned you were having a rough time. Now that you're back at work after the time with your husband, are you feeling better or are you still down and stressed? HUGS!

That made me giggle. Ain't love grand though?

I'm doing a bit better every day, I hope. It's been a hard, hard week in more ways than one, including the death of my uncle this week. But, I continue to have faith it'll all be for something ... I truly believe life is all about learning, so I try to find value in everything we go through as human beings.

I'm just trying to realize that I'm never going to make sense of losses such as yours and mine, which is hard.

Good luck again!

KacyChicago · April 2012

Cubskers:

IUI #3 was yesterday. I'm feeling more positive about this cycle than I did last month. 2 good follicles, great lining and great sample from my DH, so hopefully the miracle will begin.

GTKY - You can't double dip! You used this question on the Forever Firecrackers check in So, I'll have to think of something else. I love that my DH has picked up a lot of my slack. I used to keep a pristine house and do a lot of cooking. For Christmas, he got me a roomba (LOVE IT), so I don't have to clean the floors as often and he's been grilling and making sure dinner plans are taken care of. He's really stepped up and I love him for that.

I'm hoping the miracle will happen to! I'm so excited for you guys, so I'll try not to freak out during your two-week wait. Ha. I love that everything was great for you guys, so that's a big relief I'm sure! I'm doing a bit better, hanging in there at least! Confused

I have to admit, I only double-dipped to pick on Elle jM ... She didn't have anything nice to say about her husband on Wednesday, so she said to ask her tomorrow, so I did! Ha. I won't let it happen again ... Although, I have loved everyone's responses, including learning that you have a Roomba, so I'm glad that I asked! That is definitely something that I want one day, so I'm jealous about that just a teensy bit. Ha. I'm so glad to hear he takes such good care of you. (Your husband, not the Roomba.)

KacyChicago · April 2012

klbowie:

My levels are still going down but very very slow. It only went down 20 this past week. I am getting really frustrate with the slow progress but the doctors are not worried. They told me it could take up to 90 days to get to zero and as long as they go down its ok. I have been cramping for a few days now and I thought it was AF coming until I got my last results.

I am trying to stay positive but I feel like everytime I start feeling happy again I get hit with a set back. This past week has been especially hard. I found out my ex of seven years' girlfriend is pregnant and they weren't even trying!!! Her and I are friends (long story) and I am happy for her but it just reminded me how I am not. And my husband is out of town working for up to a month. So I am all alone at home and dealing with my crazy emotions. Also, where he is working (up in the mountains) has very limited cell service so I don't get to talk to him much.

No apologies needed for being "late" ... I'm REALLY liking this check-in over the course of a few days thing. It gives me time to really read what's going on with y'all, think about it, and actually respond. I usually try to keep checking for a few days to make sure somebody didn't check in later, so believe me, there's no time limit!

I am so very sorry things are so rough for you right now. If I could, I'd give you a big, old hug. I'm not expert on betas, because, truth-be-told, I can't even tell you what mine ever were! I know more for next time, but I never even asked, and they never even told me. (I didn't even get a draw following my loss!) I hate they didn't drop very much this week, and I'm sure that must be really frustrating. I'm hoping AF will show really soon for you.

It must be hard being so far away from your husband right now, much less not having good cell service. I hope he's not away from you all that much longer, and your back in his arms ASAP. It's tough being separated.

Good luck with your training, and again, I hope those betas drop a lot this week. All my best to you.

KacyChicago · April 2012

klbowie:
Oops I forgot to

GTKY; What is your favorite thing about your husband?

I love the fact every morning when he is out of town he texts me "Good Morning Beautiful. Have a great day." He gets up super early for work. My favorite thins about my husband is he puts a smile on my face. He can make me laugh at the drop of hat, whether I'm sad, mad, or ok. He lights up my world.

Kacy, I hope you are doing better!

Your husband sounds sweet as well ... Hate you're separated by miles at the moment. And I am trying to get much better, so thank you very much!

KacyChicago · April 2012

barbie92:
KacyChicago:
barbie92:
My HSG test went really well! I was nervous at first because the doctor doing it didn't seem to know what the heck he was doing, however the tech that was with him was super sweet and she knew what she was doing. The procedure its self wasn't bad at all- I didn't even have any cramping! They told me that everything looked great So now we are officially TTC. I am nervous because I am scared that I might lose another baby.
You have been in my thoughts- How have you been doing? I want you to know how much I appreciate this post each week and your thoughtfulness.
Thanks so much for thinking of me, as it means an awful lot. I've been better, but I am really trying to stay as positive as I can. I usually can get over things fairly easily, so this has been hard. But I have a lot of hope my angst is fleeting, and we'll get through this!
I am so very glad that everything went well with your HSG, although I would have been scared to death if he didn't know what he was doing! I know you were relieved when the tech stepped in, and I am so very thankful to hear that you had no cramping, and that everything looked great.
Congratulations on officially being in the TTC world again, although I know you are scared. (We're months away, and I'm already worried about it all.) Try not to be afraid, although I know it's easier said than done. The unfortunate thing is that we are not in control of it all, but that being said, we'll never get what we want if we don't try.
By the way, I love the bookshelves in Robby's room, they're just beautiful. I am so proud of you that you can leave the door open now, and I hope soon your rainbow baby will know how much his/her brother was loved. Thinking of you this week as y'all move forward!
I was going to ask the doctor if he knew what he was doing, but the tech stepped in so I felt a little better. The nurse at my OB's office told me that my doctor would be there, so when she wasn't that worried me a little bit! But, it wasn't too bad so I guess it worked out fine.
My husband said the same thing- that we won't ever get what we want if we don't try. It is difficult, but I am glad that I have friends here who can relate to the feeling. I wish that we didn't have to know the feeling, but knowing that I am not alone is nice.
You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and thanks again for this weekly check in. ((Hugs))

Knowing I'm not alone helps me too ... Even though it's tough, it's always great that others. My TTCAL buddy (Sarah) told me today: "I hate that we had to walk this path but so grateful that it connected us together!" (Cry.) She's so very right, and I am thankful every day for her. We all grow stronger through one another, and that's such a wonderful thing. Thank you for thinking of me, I'll be doing the same for you.

KacyChicago · April 2012

CCline09:
You are so sweet Kacy. Still no AF---I called my OB and she said to wait another 4 weeks and call back if it hasn't come. It seems like a long time to wait, but I am TTA anyway so I guess it doesn't matter. And I am sad about my ultrasound picture...just trying to let it go and not kick myself for not asking.
GTKY-- Good question as DH and I have been at odds this week. I guess as much as I hate this about him, its also a good trait. He is very laid back and easy going. Which is good for a high strung person like me. As far as helping me through my TTCAL journey--I don't really know if he has been much help. Just indifferent.

Man, I know AF not being here yet has got to be frustrating, and four weeks does seem like a long time ... But, as we all know, it is very normal for cycles to do this after a miscarriage. But I so very much hate it's happening to you!

Sorry to hear you an your husband are at odds this week, so I am glad if I made you remember at least one good thing about him. It's hard on a relationship, being under strain like this ... I'm sorry to hear that he's indifferent to the TTCAL process, and I hope he'll become more involved if that's what you want! (Or at least helping you in some what if you NEED it.) Thinking of you!

KacyChicago · April 2012

pkaren:
Update! FF gave me crosshairs on day 48, so new AF ETA is May 9th, my effing wedding anniversary! What a B!itch! Lol

Well, YAY for crosshairs! That's wonderful to hear. But, of course, AF would want to show up when you least want her to. Although, I wouldn't care when she came at this point! Big Smile You'll just be glad the b***** is back! Ha.

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