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June 2011 Moms
helenejr
member
Mums of 2... a ?
helenejr
member
so i'm wondering whats easier?
2 under 2 or a few years gap between your kiddies?
[Poll]
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Re: Mums of 2... a ?
I don't know about easier but I certainly enjoy how close my boys seem to be. I like having them with their 21 month age difference.
DS1 is also rather independant and the fact that he wasn't extremly clingy helped him adjust to having a little brother. With DS2 being a bit more clingy I don't know if he would handle it as smoothly but I don't want to have much more then a 3 year age difference between DS2 and Baby 3.
My DH and BIL have about the same age difference and are still really close. My sister and I are just shy of 5 years apart and we're just starting to be able to stand each other....although most of the time I still see her has the immature little brat I've always thought her to be.
I can't vote since I've only experienced 2u2 (21.5 mon apart), but it's been about as smooth a transition as I think going from one to two would be, regardless of age difference.
I was actually thinking about this last night: although DS1 is a LOT more independent now than he was when DS2 was born (so 31.5 mon vs. 21.5 mon), he is also more needy/jealous/attuned to the dynamics and routines in our house. I actually think it would be tougher to incorporate a new baby into our family with a kid at this age than a less than 2 year old. He doesn't remember life before Sam -- he had no idea what a baby was, had no idea he had been getting all the attention, had no idea that this "thing" was staying with us forever.
It really went far more easily than I dreamed it would have gone. He's since hit the "terrible twos", and while they haven't been extreme yet, he isn't a baby anymore -- he can't be distracted by something, can't be re-directed as easily, and is much more willful, stubborn and assertive than he was last June.
I don't know how we'll space the next two. We're back and forth almost daily about doing the (about) 2 year gap again, or trying a 3 year gap. Although 21 months worked great going from 1-2, I have no idea how I'd handle the same gap going from 2-3.
We've only every had 2 under 2 but I couldn't imagine having a 3 year old and a newborn (with no toddler in between). The first time around DS1 was young so it was easy with a baby and a toddler, and the second time around the two boys played with each other while I tended to DD1. I don't know how well things would have went if we didn't have DS2.
To each his own- I will say that there are challenges and rewards for having kids at different ages, it's really about what you are comfortable handling.
2u2- pro- generally no jealousy, they are too young to be bothered with the new baby. They are close in age, like the same things, can be in the same activities when older. Con- 2 in diapers, if you have a late walker you have to carry both of them everywhere.
Spacing 3+ apart- Pro- having the older one potty trained before starting diapers again. They are more independent. Con- possible jealousy, wants more of your time to do "big kid" things. Harder to accommodate activities that appeal to both ages when they get older.
The list goes on and on, for me 2 in diapers is a good thing. I told myself once I stopped doing diapers I'd never go back, so there will be no more babies once the last one is PT! GL!
I voted SS because I was blessed with twins. Even though I count them as 1 & I'm always telling DH I want a 2nd baby (lol) in reality I have 2u2!
It's not like I truely know what having 2u2 is really like, but I would think that it would be easier since you are already used to dealing with diapers, no sleep, etc. I honestly think that it would be hard, but it will still be hard trying to keep up with a toddler while taking care of a baby.