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June 2012 Moms
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OVERLY friendly neighbor......won't take no for an answer.

LoveyFNRLoveyFNR member
in June 2012 Moms

So my neighbor is extremely over the top. She's friendly but so pushy. This is my second pregnancy and she keeps giving me books on pregnancy, birth and babies. I am not kidding when I say I have a stack of around 10 books from her. Most were even written in the 70's and 80's I have told her numerous times I do not need them or want them as I have done it all before and know what to expect but she keeps insisting. If I don't answer my door she will leave it at my door and walk away. It's too much.

Last week she asked me if I wanted to borrow her maternity clothes. I said thanks, but no thanks. I have quite enough and am doing just fine. So yesterday she knocks, barges past my husband and proceeds to show me about 10 different items of clothing that she wants me to use. The thing is, I am a short smaller person, even in maternity clothing I wear a small. She is a size 16 and all the clothes she gave me are large. I can't even wear any of them. It's fine and dandy that she's so kind and wants to be helpful but it's just TOO much. I tried saying no thanks and handing them back to her but she refused to take them.

I am not one to slam my fist down and say HEY, leave me the eff alone! I'd like to handle it in a nicer manner but she just won't ever take no for an answer. I have a corner of my bedroom stacked up with stuff she keeps giving me and it's starting to be a bit overwhelming. The thing is....she wants all of this stuff back so it's not like I can donate it or give it away. Do I just hold onto it and give it back after I have my daughter? I have a feeling it just won't stop any time soon. Do I have to stoop to being mean to her to get her to stop pushing her stuff on me?

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Re: OVERLY friendly neighbor......won't take no for an answer.

  • beck8008beck8008 member
    here's what i would do- i tend to avoid all confrontation.... i would keep an eye out for when she is gone sometime and take everything back over to her house.  Leave the box at her door with a note saying something like "thanks for letting me use the books and stuff, i don't think i need them anymore so wanted to get them back to you before i forget.  The clothes didn't quite fit, but thanks for the thought..."  done-  hopefully she'll get the hint that you've learned all you can from the books and if this batch of clothes "didn't fit" hopefully she'll give up and stop bringing stuff over
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  • KrissyMissKrissyMiss

    It doesn't seem to matter to her how politely you decline her offers if she's leaving you stuff at the door. The way I see it you have two choices:

    1) Keep all of the crap in a box/pile somewhere until after LO is born then give it back

    or, what I would do:

    2) Box up all of her junk and leave it in front of her door with a note attached saying "Thank you for your generosity, but we really don't need these things and don't have the space for them."

    Consider how annoying she is being versus how much you want to keep her happy. Personally (and this is going to make me sound like a blitch) I'm over trying to keep everyone else happy and just want to concentrate on LO, DH, and myself at this point.

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  • HeartceaseHeartcease member
    It's not being helpful if it doesn't actually help.  I avoid all confrontations, so I would probably be in the stash it in boxes and drop it off as soon as the baby is here party.  It's a shame you can't point out another neighbor who is pregnant and sic her on them ;)
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  • TnG05TnG05
    imageKrissyMiss:

    It doesn't seem to matter to her how politely you decline her offers if she's leaving you stuff at the door. The way I see it you have two choices:

    1) Keep all of the crap in a box/pile somewhere until after LO is born then give it back

    or, what I would do:

    2) Box up all of her junk and leave it in front of her door with a note attached saying "Thank you for your generosity, but we really don't need these things and don't have the space for them."

    Consider how annoying she is being versus how much you want to keep her happy. Personally (and this is going to make me sound like a blitch) I'm over trying to keep everyone else happy and just want to concentrate on LO, DH, and myself at this point.

    All of 2) and I'm done trying to make others feel happy, it's not about them.  

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  • Davesgrl2011Davesgrl2011 member
    I wouldn't store her things for her.  I would box it up and leave it on her doorstep with a nice note.  If she brings you more stuff, keep bringing it back.  She sounds like a reverse hoarder lol- the kind of person who gets a personal high from getting rid of things.  If you keep these things until after the baby is born, she may think you used them and start bringing over old baby junk or other old clothes/books that she "thinks" you can use.
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  • AsquaredAsquared member
    I'd wait till I knew she was gone, then leave a big bag w/ everything saying you tried some stuff on and it's not going to work, but thanks so much for thinking of her.  You don't have to keep stuff and clutter up your life just cuz she's pushy. 
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  • monpetitechouchou01monpetitechouchou01

    imageAsquared:
    I'd wait till I knew she was gone, then leave a big bag w/ everything saying you tried some stuff on and it's not going to work, but thanks so much for thinking of her.  You don't have to keep stuff and clutter up your life just cuz she's pushy. 

     

    I think this is a good idea! Polite, friendly but still to the point. She lives next to you so confrontation I'd certainly avoid since you'll have to see her all.the.time. I'd write a note saying "I really appreciate your thoughtfulness! Here are a few books I've already read. Sadly--the clothes, although lovely, don't fit but I'm sure someone else might get wonderful use out of them!"  However, that's my way of doing things so you might not feel comfortable with this ;) Unless you have room for it all I'd just store the items for a few days and return them. After a few returns she might get the hint and slow down. Good luck! Keep us posted on how this works out.

     

     

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  • Babybear70Babybear70 member

    imagebeck8008:
    here's what i would do- i tend to avoid all confrontation.... i would keep an eye out for when she is gone sometime and take everything back over to her house.  Leave the box at her door with a note saying something like "thanks for letting me use the books and stuff, i don't think i need them anymore so wanted to get them back to you before i forget.  The clothes didn't quite fit, but thanks for the thought..."  done-  hopefully she'll get the hint that you've learned all you can from the books and if this batch of clothes "didn't fit" hopefully she'll give up and stop bringing stuff over

    This is my exact suggestion! :)

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  • LoveyFNRLoveyFNR member

    Thanks ladies. Sorry for the post and run yesterday. Our office computers crashed and I haven't had access until now.

    Great suggestions. I will try anything and everything I can. H says I'm being a sissy about it. He's over the top and very blunt so his view on things is basically to fling them at her face. I'll try the nicer approach first. 

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