So, I'm mad at myself and just need to get it off my chest. Before I got pregnant, I was doing a super amount of power yoga (3-4x week) and also achieving a lot in my work -- or at least I was motivated to work hard. Since I got pregnant, despite my best intentions to keep exercising, I just haven't done enough. I hated the prenatal yoga class I tried to go to (too much chit-chat, not enough exercise), I feel too big now to go to the regular classes and have everyone looking at me (I know, no one cares, but still, I feel unwieldy and not like making a public display of my belly) -- but I've used my DVD at home exactly once because I prefer to go to a class. I was loving walking outside when we had a warm spurt here, but it's been cold and rainy every time I've been up for it since -- and I hate walking on a treadmill. And if it's not any of the above, I'm tired, or I have a headache, or there's housework or grocery shopping or an errand to do, or some other social engagement comes up. Just now I read someone's post on another board -- she's about as far along as I am -- that mentions that she works out every day. I feel like a slug, and have no one to blame but myself.
On top of that, all I do instead of the work I need to do (other than what I absolutely have to do for my job), is read posts on the Bump, watch too much tv, and read about baby-related stuff (furniture, etc.) online. Some of which I have to do, of course -- the baby stuff, not the TV -- but again, I just feel like a slacker/slug.
Someone reminded me that I've gone through hell to get here (see signature) and maybe I'm just taking a break, but I'm such a type A person and such an over-achiever that I'm feeling so dissatisfied with myself rather than enjoying my "break" if that is what it is. Each week recently I've been like "THIS is the week I go back to serious exercise and serious work," and then...well....the pattern repeats. And I'm so aware that soon a baby will be here and all of my "self-improvement" impulses will need to go towards a little creature *other* than myself. Which, of course, I'm so thrilled about and can't wait for, seriously -- I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I just feel like I'm running out of time to shape the f-ck up and kick the bad lazy habits I seem to have fallen in to.
I know, this is a pathetic post. Just really venting at myself!!
Re: whiny vent of dis-satisfaction with self
You know... on those over achievers. Making a baby is hard work, and you've gone through a lot more than most of them or us to get where you are. I understand how you feel, but you aren't doing anything wrong. You're doing a great job.
BIG HUGS!
I read out-loud to my DH from a book " that even if a pregnant woman is doing nothing but sitting on the couch for a few hours, she is technically doing more than what a man does at a normal full day of work!!!! " This helped him understand why I was so exhausted all the time, plus it made me understand why I was so exhausted allllll the time.
your body is working constantly. give your mind a break you deserve it!!!!
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