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June 2011 Moms
Shine2015
member
T&Ps please and WWYD?
Shine2015
member
I am asking for T&Ps for my MIL. She has had another stroke. I guess she has been having mini ones for the past few weeks and my FIL finally took her to the hospital on Monday when he noticed some symptoms. She is awake, talking, and today was able to tell the nurses the date so those are good signs.
And now on to the WWYD? I will try to give a little background info but I don't want this to get too long so I hope you understand what I am trying to say. DHs side of the family is nothing like mine when it comes to someone being in the hospital. They pop in to visit and then leave. My side has someone there all day and if we need to we will camp out. Because no one ever really stays, I don't think anyone has even spoken with a doctor to find out what is really going on. I understand why FIL leaves - he works midnights and needs some sleep and feels he still needs to go to work because they don't have a lot money - but it's still his wife. I have gotten updates from 2 different people today and they kind of contradicted each other. I guess I should tell you that I live in MI and they live in IN so for me to get to the hospital it would be more than a 3.5 hour drive. Anyway, the first update from my SIL was that she was having tests done today to see how much damage was done. The 2nd one came from my BILs wife. She spoke with the nurse trying to find out the results of the tests but the nurse didn't know what she was talking about. So no one knows what is even going on. I could give other examples but I hope you get the picture. So anyway, DH and I are super frustrated with the not knowing what is going on. BIL and his wife agree.
SIL has arranged a meeting for this weekend with herself, MILs mom and sister, and BILs wife. The purpose of the meeting is to decide basically who will do what after MIL is released from the hospital. While I am glad that they are willing to plan and work together, I don't understand this at all. I mean we don't even know what kind of care she is going to need once released. After talking with BILs wife and my DH, I am thinking that we need to drive out again this weekend (we were there Monday) to be there for this meeting. I think we need to talk to the family and tell them that someone needs to step up and "be in charge". Someone needs to be at the hospital when the doctors are there and figure out what is wrong and what will need to be done in the future.
Am I wrong in thinking this? If I were closer in location, I would be at the hospital everyday and I would volunteer to be that person, but I'm not close. And I have a 10 month old - it's not like I can take him into her room with me. If things are not figured out by this weekend I wonder if I should ask my family to babysit G for a few days so I can go down there so at least DH and I have answers. That would be asking a lot of my family though since DH works midnights and I am a SAHM so we dont have day care. Ugh - I just don't know what to do and am really upset about the entire situation. WWYD?
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Re: T&Ps please and WWYD?
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I, too, think you and your DH should go down and be part of the planning. If at that time you feel like you need to be there more to help out then you can start worrying about finding child care etc. Also, if no one else steps up then you can consider if it would be beneficial to go for a couple days. I'm sure it's hard but try to not worry about it until you get a better feel of whats needed. Like you said, they don't have any idea of the level of care even needed so stressing at this point is only going to burden you.
i'm so sorry that you are going through this. my T&P with your family. Strokes are not fun and completely unpredictable.
i think you and your DH should go and be a part of the meeting. i think you might be trying to plan too far ahead though. go and see what the dr says, and then see what everyone else is actually doing. it's hard to tell from phone conversations. you could show up and someone could have it under controll. i'm sure that part of this meeting will be talking about the level of care needed. all you can do is take it one step at a time.
Thanks ladies! I spoke with SIL this morning and they were doing tests to find out how much damage was done yesterday- FIL was there at that time - but it was done by a PT not a doc so the nurse my BILs wife talked to was just confused. When she was first admitted they discovered she has A Fib and the heart dr. found something on one of the tests he ran that he didn't like. He will be consulting with another doc to see if maybe that is what is causing the clots. So now they are preparing us for the possibility of heart surgery.
FIL thinks she may come home Sunday but if surgery is needed I am hoping they do it right away.
As for the amount of damage that was done, I am still not 100% sure. I know there is some issues with her swallowing but it sounds like it has slowly been improving. Also issues with motor skills but not sure if it is gross, fine or both. Thanks for the continued T&Ps.