TTC after a Loss: The never ending miscarriage.

slmayobb · April 2012

I hate to be dramatic but I feel like my miscarriage is NEVER going to end. We found out we were expecting on Jan 26, 2012. We experienced excitement beyond belief.

Just a week later, I started spotting and went in for an internal ultrasound and HcG level check. A few days later, I found out that my HcG levels were not doubling and that I would likely miscarry. I decided to give it some time to happen on it's own rather than schedule a D&C. After 3 of what seemed like the longest weeks of my life, nothing had happened. It was so awful to walk around feeling pregnant and knowing that I had not yet miscarried, but that it was inevitable. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to do a D&C (although, if this ever happened again, I would).

So, three weeks later when nothing had happened, I scheduled a D&C only to start miscarrying on my own just a day before I was supposed to go in (at 11 weeks). I was SO relieved. I wanted this to happen naturally and be done with so that I could get back on the bandwagon and try again. Meanwhile, I suffered through the "when it rains it pours" kind of scenario . . . After the miscarriage started my dog died, and then my grandmother. Then one of my close familiy members (who didn't know I had been pregnant) announced that she was pregnant with what would have been my due date (still looking forward to attending her baby shower, getting her birth announcement, etc). I am really happy for her but it still hurts, it's too fresh.

After 4 long weeks of bleeding I went in for a follow-up appointment and found that I had a partial miscarriage (or partial abortion to be technically correct). Again, I was devasted and felt like it had happened all over again. I just wanted to move on. The doctor told me to wait it out another cycle to see if things cleared out naturally.

Now, a whole 2 months after the miscarriage and more than 3 months after this all started, I am still waiting for it all to be done with (still waiting for that next cycle and hoping that it will clear out my system so that I don't have to have a D&C anyways). It feels like it will never end. I just want an opportunity to try again.

I don't mean to be dramatic. I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity to rely on the support of others who may know how I feel. I know it could be SO much worse. But the pain is still there. I just want to move forward.

jenn0021 · April 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to your feelings on the never ending m/c as your story sounds similar to mine. I found out I had a missed m/c at 9 weeks but opted to wait to do it naturally. I waited for 3 weeks before I started to bleed and then I bled for 4 weeks with no end in sight. I finally went in for a f/u u/s and they discovered I had remaining tissue. I was scheduled for a D&C a week later. After the D&C, I then bled for 2 weeks. It was 2 of the longest months ever and all I wanted was for it to be over and to be able to start to move on. I'm so sorry you're going through such a drawn out process.

Now you said that you had an incomplete m/c? Did you stop bleeding? Or are you still bleeding? I'm surprised your doctor told you to wait it out seeing as your risk of infection goes up if you have remaining tissue. I know that you don't want to have a D&C but it may be a good option at this point. It's not your fault that your body isn't cooperating but sometimes it needs a little help.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · April 2012

I understand that you want this to happen naturally, but at this point in time, months later, I would just schedule the D&C. It really wasn't bad at all. I went in at 11am, and was home by 1:30pm. I wasn't even groggy and ended up going to my friend's house that night (I just sat, but I still went out) for a Silpada party. Bleeding was minimal thereafter.

I did have to wait two periods before I could TTC again (that's the standard order per my OB).

At this point, if you wait another month, and still have to have the D&C, then that puts you out that much further from TTC again (that is, of course, if that's even a concern of yours).

You have to do what's right for you, but just so you are aware, the D&C wasn't bad at all in my experience. I hope this all is over with for you soon.

Mom2anAngel2 · April 2012

I am so sorry for your loss. My loss seemed to drag on forever as well. I was induced and delivered our son at 19 weeks (after learning he no longer had a heartbeat at our AS). When they were trying to deliver the placenta, it broke. My doctor thought he got everything out. 4 weeks later (I was still bleeding) the spotting turned into such heavy bleeding that I had to have a D&C. Eventually things did settle down and we were cleared to TTCAL almost 3 months after our loss.

I know that the waiting is very difficult. I hope that your body heals and that you too are cleared to TTCAL.

sammer818 · April 2012

I'm so sorry for all your losses. I tried to have a natural m/c with my second loss, but after a week, I just couldn't stand it, much for the same reasons you mentioned. I wanted to be done with it, start the grieving process, and be able to move forward. I can't imagine having to go through something like that for 3 months. How awful. *HUGS* I hope you find the support and comfort that you need here on this board. It's a great place to be, even if the reason for being here isn't.

Gregermis · April 2012

(((hugs))) I am so sorry Sad

. I hope things turn around for you again soon

Cubskers · April 2012

I'm so very sorry for your loss and for the ongoing issues you're experiencing. I hope that you'll find the support you need here. There are some wonderful women who know exactly what you've gone through. Sending thoughts and prayers your way for quick resolution. ((HUGS))

killian09 · April 2012

I am so sorry for your loss and that you have had to endure such a long horrible process. I also has an incomplete miscarriage at 11 weeks, and my doctor offered me the option of using cytotec/misoprostol before she was going to insist on a D&C. Have you discussed that option? It might be a reasonable "in between" step to get some medical help finishing the process without a surgery, depending on your situation.

big_noise · April 2012

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I hope things get figured out for you soon. That's a lot to go through. I understand wanting to move on so you can start the grieving/healing process.

blessedhope · April 2012

((hugs)) I'm so sorry

Mrs.E.07 · April 2012

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't have any advice, just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel. I'm also going through a never-ending m/c. To make a long story short, it started with a bit of spotting on March 4th that resulted in me going to the doctor, and now it's been almost 2 months and I'm still bleeding and my HCG is still elevated.

((((hugs)))) and hang in there!

Atleighdan · April 2012

I am so sorry your miscarriage has been dragging out like this. I hope it clears up soon and you can get back to TTC!

kiki4 · April 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss, and everything you have gone through. It seems odd to me that the OB said it was a partial m/c, and is of the opinion it will happen naturally. I understand the desire for it happen naturally, however, if it were me, I would call the dr and let him know you need to have this all done, and would like to schedule a D&C. ((hugs))

MissRachel621 · April 2012

Mrs.DeliaMarieP:

I understand that you want this to happen naturally, but at this point in time, months later, I would just schedule the D&C. It really wasn't bad at all. I went in at 11am, and was home by 1:30pm. I wasn't even groggy and ended up going to my friend's house that night (I just sat, but I still went out) for a Silpada party. Bleeding was minimal thereafter.

I did have to wait two periods before I could TTC again (that's the standard order per my OB).

At this point, if you wait another month, and still have to have the D&C, then that puts you out that much further from TTC again (that is, of course, if that's even a concern of yours).

You have to do what's right for you, but just so you are aware, the D&C wasn't bad at all in my experience. I hope this all is over with for you soon.

All of this. You are not being dramatic. I am so sorry for what you're going through. That said, I 100% agree with Mrs. Delia Marie. I am a huge weenie about the doctor, dentist, everything, and the D&C was really not a big deal at all. I slept through it, and had only minimal pain and bleeding afterward. I have not heard of anyone who has regretted getting a D&C. (I'm sure they exist, but it's not common). Good luck with everything.

jinxycat24 · April 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you have been going through. I do not think you're being dramatic at all. The whole experience is very emotionally exhausting and draining. With all of my losses I have used cytotec to help my body start the process of the miscarriage. Did your dr discuss that as an option? I'm surprised she wants you to continue to wait it out.

Good luck. I hope you're able to get some closure soon.

pkaren · April 2012

I don't think you're being dramatic at all! You've been through so much in such a short time and your m/c experience I would definately categorize of the "traumatic" variety! I know what you mean about wanting to move forward. Are there not any meds like cyctoc or there's another one that starts with an M to take care of whatever is left? I hope this nightmare ends soon for you! *hugs*

juttek30 · April 2012

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. If I were you, I'd schedule that D&C so you can get past it and move forward. (((HUGS)))

GraceInCA · April 2012

I'm going to give you some tough love and tell you that you really should schedule the D&C. Reading your story was like having a flashback: I had the never-ending miscarriage. In fact, that was the title of my thread, back in the day! I finally had to suck it up and have a D&C, and it was a good decision.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/54604784.aspx

https://media.community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/54827969/ShowThread.aspx

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/54932126.aspx?MsdVisit=1

misteezagirl · April 2012

so sorry for your loss. I can definitely relate to the never ending miscarriage. I miscarried at 9 weeks naturally, took cytotec for retained tissue and I was literally spotting/light period for the next 3 months, turns out I had retained tissue and that is why I spotting for so long. I dumped the Dr. I was going to because I kept telling them about the spotting and was going in for weekly blood draws because my levels were taking forever to drop and they did nothing. Hopefully the end is near so you can move forward.

shellyco · April 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds like a horrible expierience! I think everything about TTCAL is sort of a never ending miscarriage- some days the pain is so great it feels like just yesterday as opposed to five months ago.

Elle jM · April 2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're not being dramatic, but it seems a little off to me that your doctor is letting this drag out so long. I hope you start to get some closure soon. ((hugs))

gretchenswann · April 2012

I'm so sorry. I understand the feeling of just wanting it to be over, I'm actually going through a very similar experience. I didn't have a D&C but I did have some pills inserted to further the miscarriage along (because it wasn't happening naturally). I miscarried on January 30 at 12 weeks, and I am still having issues with irregularities/spotting. I absolutely emphasize on just wanting it to be over and have the opportunity to try again. Best wishes!

slmayobb · April 2012

Ah! You ladies are so amazing! I had been feeling like no one in my life understood what I was going through and, thus, decided to post something here but wasn't expecting much of a response. But when I logged in and checked this, I was overwhelmed to tears. Thank you all for being so supportive and for the tough love.

Update: I called my doctor and they had me come in for another HcG check. Turns out, my levels have dropped quite a bit (to 55 from 85) although still not as low as they should be (0-2). Then, just when I was considering calling her to set up a D&C, my next cycle started. So, I suppose I will just wait this out and hope for the best. My reasoning, if I have a D&C, I have to wait a couple of months before TTC. If everything goes as planned, I can get back on the bandwagon! :-) Plus, she said that HcG levels of 55 are SO low that it may no longer warrant a D&C.

Let's just hope this bleeding doesn't last for 4 weeks like last time! I'm ready to be done! If this ever happens again, I am going with a D&C, hands down.

Thanks to all of your ladies for sharing your stories, for being supportive, and for the tough love. It's exactly what I needed!

slmayobb · April 2012

Thank you for sharing your story with me. Your support is very appreciated.

CCline09 · April 2012

No need to apologize for being dramatic- having a miscarriage is a traumatizing event! I am so sorry it is taking forever to get everything cleared out and back on track. I am just so sorry for your loss.

I hope we can support you here on the boards!

Want a personalized experience?

TTC after a Loss: The never ending miscarriage.

Re: TTC after a Loss: The never ending miscarriage.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards