- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Success after IF
nsaifr: 7-year itch (re marriage)
While googling ideas for our upcoming 7-year wedding anniversary (any ideas??!!! it snuck up on me!), half of the search results were not re gift ideas, but rather re the notorious "7 year itch"!
I had forgotten about this term, and thinking about it now don't see a ton of validity to it, at least with the people we know. (Bodly assuming we know how things are behind closed doors, of course.) All of our friends/ acquaintances seem to be doing well in their relationships. . . or else were unfaithful/ divorced long before 7 years were up!
WWYD? Any truth to the "7 year itch," in your opinion?
eta: Since most people commented on the state of their own relationships, I feel the need to clarify that I do not in any way feel an itch, and I have complete confidence that neither does my husband! I was surprised to be reminded of this "phenomenon" because the very thought of "itching" right now is so bizare to me 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: nsaifr: 7-year itch (re marriage)
I agree. I feel like most couples I know who have broken up/gotten a divorce have done so BEFORE 7 years. Though, I feel like I heard somewhere that 3 years is the new 7 years? Statistically speaking, anyways. And that feels more "right" to me.
We're celebrating 7 years this year, too! (in July) We're doing a short weekend getaway in August, and that will count as our "celebration" I think. We may also try to get a babysitter to go out to dinner closer to the actual day.
Because we're fancy like that.
We had quite a few friends divorce right around 3 years. I've heard them referred to as 'starter marriages' as long as they didn't result in children.
I'll let you know this summer...our 7 year anniversary is in June.
Actually, we are planning a 20-year getaway for this winter. We started dating way back in 92 when I was a freshman in college!
We had a rough patch around the seven year mark, but there was no cheating involved on either end. I think it had to do more with IF than anything else...but that's been so long ago, it is hard to say.
I remember the first year being pretty bad, year three being not-so-hot, year seven being kinda rough, and now, at year eleven, things are pretty much smooth sailing.
We'll have been married for 8 years in June. No true 7 year itch here, but things have been a bit stressful (both good and bad stress) this past year. No cheating or anything like that. Just circumstantial. In the past year or so, we remodeled our kitchen ourselves, did a DE cycle/got pg, I was on bedrest for 14 weeks during pg, DH got a promotion at work which means more hours/stress, I was laid off from my job, and had our DS.
All of that could have happened when we were first married and it would have been just as stressful as it is now.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
My XH worked in our state's office of vital statistics. When we were separating 7 yrs ago, he found out that the previous years most common years of marriage that divorce occurred in were 2 yrs, 7 yrs, and 20 yrs. The theory was that by 2 yrs, people just thought they'd made a mistake. By 7 yrs, they had the 7 year itch. And by 20 yrs, those couples had stayed together for the sake of the children and the children were then out of the house. Our divorce was actually final just after our 8th anniversary so I guess we threw a curve in the numbers.
Our problems went far deeper than a 7 yr itch. There were no affairs in our marriage but I can say that 6 yrs of IF put a HUGE strain on our relationship. IF certainly wasn't the main reason for our divorce but it surely didn't help.
I'm glad to say my current marriage is fantastic and we're celebrating our 5th anniversary this weekend!
I can not say we had any itches at the 7 year mark, but it was more difficult in the 9 year mark for us, not enough to scratch...I think having a kid after the 7 year mark added to that for us.
I read somewhere that people did their itching at around 7 year mark because the kids were older and there was a sort of ho-hum routine in their lives that they wanted to snap (back when the term was first used, people got married and had their family established pretty early on, where as now people are more likely to wait longer to add children - not to mention all of us who have IF).
I also think because divorce is more acceptable in todays age than it was "back in the day" that people tend not to make it past the 7 year mark if there was problems to begin with.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
After I got married the first time, we moved into a new subdivision and got to know a lot of our newlywed neighbors. It was strange because in the beginning everyone seemed so happy, then one summer they started dropping like flies. At about the 3-year mark there seemed to be a mass exodus out of the neighborhood.
I think there's a lot of truth to it. It maybe happens with men more so than women, though I don't think women are exempt either. From anecdotal evidence of people I've known over the years, it seems to happen more amongst couples that married early, but like I said, that's anecdotal. It's not proof. I think it happens a lot more than anyone wants to acknowledge, and often even without one partner knowing about it.
ETA: There was a legislator in Germany, I think, that wanted to put in for marriage lasting only 7 years, after which point couples could elect to renew or merrily go on their way without the sturm and drang that divorce typically involves. Would be interesting if such a thing were realized.
My friends that got divorced seemed to do it around the 2-3 year mark, and no kids invovled. I was reading somewhere that most marriages have issues around the 5 year mark- that the 7 year rule is really outdated.
I can totally see that- I got married when I was 25, now being 31 I am a totally different person- and have definately questioned my marriage. DH and I really had a rough time the past year- and we are just starting to get over it and moving into a better place.
A very good friend of mine had issues with her marriage around the 6 year mark- she even cheated on her husband- they did seperate for bit, but did not divorce. She said that she really to fall in love with her husband all over again. They got through it and now have been married 11 years and have two adorable girls.
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
Well, I'm getting close to my 13 year anniversary, so obviously no seven year itch for us. Any bumps in the road have alwaysl been circumstantial (IF treatmen, having new babies, major moves, etc) and not at all related to the duration of our marriage.
Though I'd been feeling good about the fact that we've made it happily this far in our marriage, I'm now nervous about the 20 year itch (having read some of the "new" statistics above). Lol!