I am trying to go as natural as possible. This includes using homemade baby powder, cloth diapers, etc. Basically I don't want a bunch of products I won't use being given at my baby shower. It's a waste of the gift giver's money, it's unfair to them to buy these overpriced products that I won't use. Is there a way to state I don't want certain things being given at my baby shower, but tactfully?
Should I state something about not going off the registry? Should I make a theme of green products, or should I simply state that I have all the staples (baby powder, diapers, rash cream, etc) and don't need any?
My sister is planning it, but I want to be able to make it easier for her by at least having my more annoying requests handled.
I'm really just trying to spare people from wasting their money, I hate being wasteful since I spent so much of my life being a wasteful person. If I turn out to be wrong and it doesn't work for me, then fine it's MY debit card and sanity that's taking the hit when I have to go out with a screaming infant.
Re: Is there a tactful way to ask this?
This. Also, Walmart is great about taking things back, even if they weren't bought in their store. I took all the Huggies diapers I got back because I decided I liked Pampers better. You will at least be able to get store credit from them. Good luck!
I think that gifts are gifts, and it's difficult to tell people what to do. That said, I would register for items that you would like, which will increase the chances that you get only those items. You will still get plenty of things from people who mean well. I would hold onto those items because you may find that they do come in useful, and if they don't, you can give them to friends or donate them to a woman's shelter. No matter what, they will not go to waste. They will simply be re-purposed.
Also, have you considered not having a shower? Showers are generally about gifts, and if you're concerned about waste, maybe just a cake and coffee party to meet the baby after he/she is born would be more your style?
There's really no way you can say something about how you don't want products you won't use, or to not go off the registry, or even say something about how you have all the baby products you'll need - without being extremly tacky and rude (in my opinion).
You can mention to your friends and family that you are going as green as possible and are going to be making your own baby products (and FYI I was always told baby powder is really bad for babies) and using cloth diapers. Maybe register for supplies to make the products, or for the cloth diapers. As for stuff you don't want, people are going to get you what they want to get you and it is what it is. You can always try and return it later or even donate it.
Emily 8.8.08
Madeline 1.2.11
William 8.5.12
This.
And ditto everyone that said register for obviously eco-friendly products of all kinds. When I see those things on the registry, I go out of my way to buy organic, etc.
This. Wal-Mart takes back everything! I can't tell you how many bottles of J & J lotion I returned for store credit. I don't even know if these were bought at Wal-Mart, but they took them back!
Like the pps said, I would make a mention of a "green theme" in your invitation and register for the green friendly items that you DO like...california baby has some great products and they are available at target and babies r us. Either way, you are going to get stuff you are not going to use.......you can either then return it or donate it to a food pantry. They are always looking for baby donations at food pantries.
Here's an idea, could your sister theme the shower around your concept?
IE Join us for a fun afternoon of food and crafting while we help DanaConrad prepare for her new bundle?
I am thinking invites printed on seed paper with eco-ink,
and yes your registry is where you can "tell" people what you want. Some places even have a place where you can make a note to people.
Good Luck!
I feel the same way about not wanting people to spend money on something that won't be used. I know returns can be made, but I am treating this how I'd want to be treated: if there was something the parents to be didn't want, I'd want to know so I can instead decide to spend my money on something they DO want. So, please, do tell me how to spend my money, in a sense... I don't have a lot of it (who does these days?) so if I'm buying a gift, I want it to be useful.
Our registry is on Amazon and along with a ton of diaper covers, I also added Green Mountain Diapers prefolds using Amazon's option to add items from an outside website. I explained this in the note section at the top of the registry, how we will be cloth diapering and I have added the diapers we'd need through potty training to the registry via an external site, just to avoid people clicking on it and being caught off guard by being directed to GMD's (admittedly low tech) website. Nothing is mentioned on our invitations except the registry, though.
Other things we have added, like cloth diaper safe cream, organic lotion and soap, I'm hoping will give the hint that we're not interested in a bunch of Johnson & Johnson stuff. But that stuff is relatively cheap, so I feel less bad about exchanging it if I need to. Diapers on the other hand are not as cheap and I'd feel bad if someone brought me a gargantuan case of diapers that I'd have no use for; my only option with those, if I had an option at all, would be to return them to a store for store credit and hope they sell some diaper covers online or something. You can't just walk into Walmart and buy CDs.
blog! thescenery.net
I just wanted to say this is the only way around it. I didn't want a shower for my DS and he's no worse off
IMO people who are intent on not having their money be wasted will ask what you want or stick to a registry. People who have their own ideas in mind will buy what they want.
Baby Showers are like other gift giving occasions where it is considered impolite to tell people what gift you want unless they specifically ask. For example, every year my GMIL gets me kitchen towels as a small Christmas gift. She has never asked if I wanted them, used them or like them. She simply gives them generously out of the kindness of her heart. Yes, many of the kitchen towels she gives me are a waste of her money because they don't get used, but that doesn't matter. Her gift was simply that, a gift and I would never call her up and say " Hey, by the way you can stop giving me towels now, why don't you get me this." I feel that Baby showers are the same. You can certainly point out your registry for people who choose to use it, but for those that don't, oh well. The items they buy can be returned or donated.
I love your sentiment (I'm the same, I really don't want people spending money unnecessarily) but I have to agree with PPs that there's not really a tactful way to go about it. The PP with the husky siggie (didn't catch your name, sorry) has a great idea with donating the unwanted things to a womens shelter. It won't give your friends their money back, but (how do I put this tactfully?) the items will be going to someone in need rather than just giving their money back to you for you to choose something 'better'. Sorry if that sounds snarky, because it's not meant to!
The only thing I can suggest really is maybe, in the run-up to your shower, go facebook/pinterest-crazy for things like homemade baby powder, baby shampoos etc. Steer well away from making it very obvious: in other words, no "hey everyone, I'd rather have this than store-bought stuff!", but keep it to "this is an awesome idea, I had no idea it was so easy!", that kind of thing. Hopefully people will see it and realise that you want to go down that route. Who knows, they may even have some tips!
I would advice buy what you like but before that make sure you are spending under your monthly budget level.
SPAM
I would just take the stuff back. I've learned it doesn't matter how many people you tell about your plans, they still do their own thing.
Maybe on the invite put Baby goes green shower or something. I don't know.
Isn't the whole point of a registry to "tell people what you want?" Any invitations I've received to bridal showers, baby showers, etc. have included info re: where the couple was registered for that very purpose - and I always look there first so I know what I should be buying for the gift recipient. Of course people don't always purchase from the registry (my parents and my brother's inlaws are famous for that), but I don't think it's tacky at all to have guidelines. On my brother/sister-in-law's baby registry, it was very clearly stated that they 1) were planning to be surprised and therefore preferred gender neutral items and 2) were going to be cloth diapering, so not to buy any disposable diapers (they also registered for cloth diapers, covers, fasteners, etc.). My brother's in-laws, who threw the "surprise" shower, stated those things on the invitations as well, so it was very clear and not at all offensive.
I like registries because it takes all the pressure off of buying a gift - all I need to do is look at the list, figure out my price range and *bam* purchase the items I plan to give. If a couple registered for specific types of lotion, etc., I would only buy those, not whatever brand I felt like, because I would assume that if it was important enough for them to register for it, it's important enough for me to conform to their wishes.
Of course not having a shower is always an option, I suppose, but in my experience somebody always seems to want to do that for an expectant mom anyway - whether it's family, close friends, or co-workers. It seems perfectly reasonable (to me, anyway) to include notes on your registry with regard to specific wishes, and be sure that those closest to you also have an idea re: your preferences so that information can be included on the invitation.
I also like the suggestions re: donating unwanted items to shelters and food pantries - I work with a number of families in need, and I know that demand is high for any baby items at all!