so on Sun my husband shows me this commercial

versace1008 · April 2012

by P & G on young Olympic athletes and their moms, he had seen it before and he was showing it to me on his iphone, I know he didn't realize it would make me upset and cry at the end and he felt so bad about it and afterwards, he is like I am sorry I wasn't thinking... it is a great commercial but def hard to watch....and it made me realize that IF is def easier for a man than a women....is that true? or is my husband too new at this to not know that he shouldn't be showing me that kind of stuff?

when did you notice a difference in your husband becoming more sensitive?

chels38026 · April 2012

I haven't seen the commercial, but by the sounds of it I would be bawling if I saw it. I definitely think IF affects women differently. I am much more sensitive to things than MH is. The first time I really saw him get bothered by it was when we got the fert report from our first IVF. We had just pulled into the Target parking lot when the nurse told us only 2 eggs out of 13 had fertilized. We were obviously devastated. It took us awhile to take in everything from the call and when we got out of the car we were immediately confronted with two families putting new baby gear purchases in their car. He was like, seriously, we can't catch a break!

Gregermis · April 2012

I am not familiar with the commercial, but DH is way more zen about his whole thing than I am. When we have failures, he is sad for me but not really about the bfns or the losses themselves. He's okay with having kids, he's okay with not. He's cool with biological, surrogacy or adoption. His only concern is not spending all our money on treatments. I wish I could let go like he does sometimes. But he's not getting all the shots, he wouldn't be carrying a child ever, so yeah... It's different

dalmatinka77 · April 2012

i think we definitely have more of the emotional burden as we are hardwired to mother while they are hardwire to sow their seed (i'm talking caveman hardwiring). they are all obviously upset about the situations we are in and don't want us upset but I agree with you guys - my husband has offered "then we'll just adopt another dog" or "then we need to spoil ourselves more" as solutions and as much as i agree with him i can't say those things out loud.

i think my DH feels worse for me than for himself not being a father. he even told me before our wedding that he wouldn't hate me if i left him to have a family with somebody else - can you believe this guy? so i definitely see it's more about me than him, like he can cope with this.

Jezebell26 · April 2012

Unfortunately it took two miscarriages for me to see his bitter side. It didn't seem to phase him in the beginning and he was very stand off-ish during our first pregnancy. The second time around he was so excited and was really attached and well, we know how that ended. It was after then that I started to see a change in him. He no longer could see those commercials and would agree with me as to why I got upset. The day I really saw it come out and saw what IF did to him, I cried my eyes out. I think after we went through a full IVF cycle he became a little more sensitive towards me and everything because he really saw what it was like. I win awards in our house lol

GL!

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