Kind of pissed

mnieciecki · April 2012

Just got a text from a cousin that I don't talk to much with Congrats a little bird told me you were expecting. Don't worry we'll keep it on the DL. I told both DH and my parents that we want to keep this quiet till we get the go ahead it is safe to tell people from the dr. Maybe I am just superstitious and maybe I feel like it's my news to tell but I am kind of pissed my mom is telling the world when I asked her not to. I get that she is excited and if I was in her shoes I would be too but wouldn't you respect your child's wishes to keep mum until they were ready to announce it to the world? I know the ob said the chances go down quite a bit after you see and hear the hb, that everything looks great and strong but is 8 weeks too early? Am I being a brat or are my feelings legit?

Bingo1116 · April 2012

I think your feelings are totally legit, but I think you may have had unrealistic expectations that people will actually keep a secret . .especially one that big and exciting. I started telling people close to me after we had our u/s at 8 weeks that showed everything was healthy and we saw the heartbeat. I figure if *God forbid* something happens, I'm going to need those people as a support system. At least your cousin knows to keep it quiet.

I think some people think "keep it quiet" means "only tell one or two people". I heard a quote one time and I can't remember who it was (maybe Benjamin Franklin). "Two can keep a secret if one is dead"

daniellerm23 · April 2012

I think you definitely have a right to be upset about that!

I had told my boss pretty early since I was having M/S, and he took it upon himself to tell everyone in the company, even the CEO. (I was only about 8 weeks along.)

So, I know how you feel. And I would probably be even more upset if it were my mother. It's definitely your news to tell - it's YOUR special time!!

weebos8 · April 2012

I agree with PP; it is your news to tell. I would be very upset if someone told my good news; sorry this happened!

GHBEA · April 2012

This is the very reason we don't even tell our parents. Once we feel things are okay we tell our parents then siblings and so on, so if word does get out it doesn't matter so much because we are not keeping it a secret any more. We will start telling our older kids May12, then our moms and two sisters on Mothers Day and go from there.

Yes I would be pissed if I was in your shoes.

LuckyMissus · April 2012

Nope, you're fine. And I wouldn't be "kind of pissed." I'd be "super pissed."

mnieciecki · April 2012

Thanks ladies. I'm still stewing a bit but I'm sure I'll get over it. Though I want to do "damage control" and quarantine this before it spreads out of control and there is nothing left to say. This is my first and I wanted it to be special when we came out. I just found out my SIL started a "this is what you need and you'll have to kill me to delete it" baby registry. I think I might stab someone. Who in their right mind does that?! I told family because I wanted that net in case something happened, not for people to take over my life. wtf. I am shaking from frustration and dealing with these bullheaded people is just not on my list crap I want to deal with. I might crawl in a hole and just come out in Nov.

ToiKenne · April 2012

Agreed that you have every right to be pissed but you have to remember, you were excited to share the news with your mom and probably had trouble keeping it to yourself. She feels the same way. It's almost a burden to other people when you tell them and want them to keep it a secret.

nmoe · April 2012

My MIL did the same thing with her entire family. We asked her not to tell, and within 2 weeks everyone knew. When DH called her out on it, she said, "But she told her family!" Uh, yeah, I told my family, because it's MY news. We were going to tell her family, we just wanted to do it in person, and when we were ready!

That's fine though. If we have another baby, she won't find out until everyone else does.

opbosco · April 2012

I would be upset too. It is your right to tell people when you are ready too.

ilovedesi · April 2012

You are not being a brat at all, this was definitely your news to tell. Your mom should have respected that.

panda1031 · April 2012

You def deserve to be pissed! THIS is why we haven't told my family yet. My grandma called everyone down to 3rd cousins and random relatives she never talks to when my cousin got pg, and she had an early miscarriage. I had no idea, and when I saw her I said congrats and it was SO awkward!! She didn't know that anyone even knew she was pg before...the whole thing was awful. For that reason I'm not telling them until I absolutely am ok with everyone knowing.

I've already had a friend spill the news to other mutual friends and I was NOT happy. Not their news to tell.

tortuga47 · April 2012

I'd be pissed too. This actually happened to us. We shared with parents at 10 weeks with a strict, only parents and siblings know until the end of first tri and we got a little text from a cousin too. DH was fuming. The only reason we told this early, is we are staying with family for a week and we can't hide the ms in that close quarters. I feel your pain. Sorry

dans1girl · April 2012

I am going through the SAME thing... only I dont speak to my mother, and since she found out & knew I wanted to keep it to ourselves a little while longer, took the opportunity to tell MY WHOLE FAMILY... i wont even get to surprise my grandparents... and this is our first... totally PISSED>

dicer2 · April 2012

For my first pregnancy, my MIL told all of her family and friends by including our news in her Christmas card letter. Lovely.

ansi29 · April 2012

It's your news to tell. At Passover, my step-mother and dad told this random family friend and another couple who were there. I was pissed and wrote them an email along the lines of, "I know you're both really excited about the baby, but I would prefer to keep it quiet until X date (2nd tri)." They both apologized and I don't think I was a b*(@ to them. You could do something along those lines.

abfromva2 · April 2012

My mom spilled the beans this morning and apparently DH told a bunch of people this weekend that I didn't know about. I was annoyed at first and now I am over it. I told him if something happens it is up to him to "untell" everyone and that I want no part of it. The big deal for me is coming out on FB. As long as it is my close friends that know and no one else has outed me on FB then I will be fine. I agree with PP that talked about unrealistic expectations from people keeping is a secret.

mebenfield · April 2012

you have every right to be pissed. it is your news to tell!

i will add that my MIL told a coworker that we go to church with. BUT she had a brain tumor removed the week before so i couldnt get but so mad. LOL! <- not at that tumor but the situation

cecflutey · April 2012

My mother has the biggest mouth and is always blabbing. We told her that if she told anyone that she would no longer be involved in the pregnancy an wouldn't be told anything. Needless to say she's been able to keep it to herself.

emmafay · April 2012

You have every right to be mad, but don't lash out at her! If you can say it nicely, put her in her place. If not, have DH do it. We are telling my sister last because she loves to burst my bubbles.

arybak13 · April 2012

You totally have the right to be pissed off. Talk to your mom and remind her that she can't share this with anyone! It should be on your terms.

I've been having lots of "talks" with my mom. Especially when she made some comment about my doc being a man and that I'd be better off leaving my doc of 8 years because he's not a woman and "he'll never understand what you are going through". UGH.

Stay strong, but make your point known!

Want a personalized experience?

Kind of pissed

Re: Kind of pissed

Choose Another Board

Search Boards