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July 2011 Moms
Anyone have a braggart in your life?
If so, how do you deal with them?
My step-sister has always been a huge braggart. We see her at family get togethers a few times a year. There are only 6 adults on my mom's side (mom, step-dad, us and our DHs) so it's not as if I can just talk with another relative and ignore her. When we get together, she takes control of the conversation in the room and everything becomes about her -- how much money she makes or spent on something, her new husband's house and swimming pool, the 2ct diamond her new husband bought for her, how great of a cook she is, how great her LO is, what an awesome career she has, etc. Often she does this in a very subversive way, usually starting by asking me a question about some aspect in my life, which then leads to a "oh, you do it that way? Hm, well, I...brag brag brag..." and then "one-upping" me with her story. Or she just flat-out tells us a story (such as telling us about her potential new job making $10,000 more than she makes now, among other things.) Our parents don't say too much, and her new husband is proving to be an enabler who just fluffs up her stories and adds details, so the whole thing is really awkward.
As a specific example: My LO is now 10 months old. I have been told at nearly every get together for the past several YEARS (including my mom's b-day gathering last weekend) about how her LO (who is now 8) walked at 9.5 months. That was 7 years ago! Now that my LO is here, she is really getting more specific about asking what my LO does, then finding examples of how much "better" her LO was, or bragging about how great it is to have a (insert expensive possession name here -- ie swimming pool, iPad, etc etc) for her LO, etc.
I am not the kind of person who talks about my money, or gets into mommy wars and comparisons, etc. It's just really tiring having to sit there and say "wow, that's great," or "hm, how lucky you are," etc. Or when I tried to interject with my own perspective (for example, when she mentioned last weekend about her LO walking at 9.5 months AGAIN, I responded by saying that I hear dozens of stories from moms at baby/parent class or on message boards about their LOs walking at 9 or even 8 months, it's pretty normal, etc), she then turned it into "yeah, it was so hard having a child that young walking around!" as if she was really not that happy about it after all -- all she needed to do was drape her wrist over her forehead to complete the picture.
Anyone have any interesting stories of how you have dealt with people like that in your life? Or thoughts on how to deal with this one?!?! TIA!
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Re: Anyone have a braggart in your life?
My aunt was like this! Thankfully she divorced my uncle so we don't have to hear it anymore but Lordy! My brother and my cousin are a few months apart, so there was a LOT of comparing. Luckily my mom didn't seem to care.
I have a coworker who is like that now. Her kids are 7 and 9 and they also walked at 8 and 9 months. When she tells me things like that, to brag, and I'm in a fiesty mood, I will turn it around and say something like, "Oh how awful! I am NOT looking forward to having to baby-proof! I'm so glad Nina stays put like a good girl, haha!" Lately she has been bragging about her son being so great at hockey....so I will ask about how cold the arena is, how often she has to waste her time at practices, how stinky the hockey gear is, etc. "I hope he grows out of liking hockey - that's going to suck if he wants to play again next year!" Etc. But I am a fiesty b!tch sometimes.
LOL..at simon...that's me too! If it's a non family member and somebody I don't have to deal with on the regular that's what I do too.
I just decided people are dumb and not let it bother me.
It is a lot of "Hmmm....that's nice." "I'll look into that." "Oh. How fun."
People like this aren't worth the stress about worrying what to say.
See, I'm much more blunt. I'd say something like "You sure care a lot about your kid being the best/first at things. Why do you think that is?" Or "All you seem to want to talk about is your child. Don't you have anything else going on? Maybe you need a hobby or something."
And then she'll tell you all about the amazing hobbies that she has. Did you know that she can knit a fully functional vehicle?
LOL! While being blunt seems like a great idea, you do have a point, I am fairly certain something like that would come out of her mouth!
Ask her if there's anything she CAN'T do.
But yes, I'd go crazy if I had to deal with her on a regular basis.
My Aunt is like this. When B was about 7 weeks old, we went to my family's lake cottage. I was having NOTHING but trouble with breast feeding, low supply issues. And the WHOLE 10 days we were there all I heard about was how my aunt "could have been a wet nurse because I had so much milk" and "well, at least you don't have TOO much milk, I was always leaking" and "Grandpa used to call me a cow..."
Every single comment she made heart me so badly. She has always been like this, just like your SIL, and it never really bothered me, but when it came to the BFing stuff, it just made me feel awful.
And, everything we did the whole week, she had done with her son (who is like 35 mind you), earlier and better. We went swimming, with my little 8 week old baby! And she was like, "well, I went with my son when he was just 6 weeks." Umm, yeah, OK Auntie. If you can even remember if that is true, good for you...
She is like that all the time. And she always has an answer for everything. She is a one upper braggart who ALSO knows it all. It is amazing.