If you like long birth stories, this one's for you!
Amos?s Birth Story
My
due date with our second child was April 24, 2011 (Easter). I was
hoping to get pretty close or past that date, and was especially hoping
to still be pregnant by April 21, which was ?Mom?s Night? at my daughter
Lillian?s preschool, where all the moms come and see what the kids have
been preparing to show them for many weeks (songs and activities).
The Beginning
At
7:30pm on April 20, 2011, I was sitting on the living room couch after
supper, looking at a magazine while my 3.5 year old daughter Lillian
climbed on me. My husband Noah was vacuuming in the next room.
Suddenly, I felt a warm wet gush and realized that my water had just
broken. I was very surprised. My water had not broken on its own when
Lillian was born, so for some reason I just never expected it. I called
for Noah but he had moved out of our room and into the kitchen and
couldn?t hear me. I asked Lillian to go get him and tell him to come.
She did, but he hold her he was busy, to wait a minute.
So I crawled across the room and unplugged the vacuum. That got his attention!
Luckily
I had put a washcloth in my underwear an hour or so before so the
situation was pretty well-contained. I asked Noah to run to drugstore
to pick up some adult diapers for me to wear around the house now that I
was randomly gushing fluids. Lillian was wondering what was happening,
so I told her that I needed to get upstairs in the bathroom and then I
would explain. Once I was kneeling in the bathtub with my pants off as
we both looked down at the clear liquid spurting out of me, she looked
at me and said ?Explain, Mom!? I told her that my water had broken, and
this was probably the start of the baby getting ready to come. It was
possible that when she woke up in the morning we would have our baby,
but it might not be that soon. I felt jittery, full of adrenaline,
knowing that the birth was coming, ready or not. I realized that I was
probably not going to make it to Mom?s Night the next evening. I called
our midwives and doula to give them a heads up. My midwife said that
probably contractions would start in the next 24 hours, and to just keep
them posted. Since the amniotic fluid was clear and the baby was
kicking everything looked fine. They might stop over at some point to
give a listen to the baby?s heart beat. If nothing had started before
we went to bed I should just give her a call to touch base.
Early Excitement
After
the initial shock wore off, and Noah got back with the goods, I read
Lillian a bedtime story and helped her get ready for bed. It was just
like any other night, but it had a surreal feeling and I was filled with
a jittery excitement. Noah went downstairs and got the hose set up for
filling the birth tub that was already set up in our family room (we
planned to birth at home). He then took over with Lillian and finished
putting her to bed while I got things ready for birthing. I made some
?labor-ade? (coconut water and orange juice), changed into my laboring
clothes (a black sports bra and some loose pants), filled water bottles.
I got the bin of birth supplies out, going over the list our midwives
had given us to pull together a few last items. No contractions yet.
I
didn?t want to alert our families yet since labor hadn?t started and I
didn?t want to feel like people were waiting on me, but we wanted to
make arrangements for Lillian to be cared for tomorrow in case I was in
the thick of it during the day, so Noah called his aunt to see if she
was free the next day in case we needed her to take Lillian, and she
was. I emailed my mom with ?just in case? directions for her to take
Lillian to Mom?s Night in my place the next night, a contingency plan we
had previously discussed, although I realized that it was pretty much a
certainty that I wouldn?t be the one going. I was a little
disappointed, but the excitement of getting to meet our baby made me
feel better. I wanted to give my office a heads up that I wouldn?t be
in the next day and to give a status update on my docket items, but
again I didn?t want to send an email yet being that we were early in the
process...Noah had the brilliant suggestion to type up the email now,
and then just hit send in the morning, so that?s what I did.
Noah
came down after getting Lillian to bed and we excitedly got things set
up, set up the video camera near the birth tub, and snapped a few last
belly pictures together by the tub. I called my midwife again before
going to bed to give her an update (no contractions yet, which was
fine). I went to bed at 10:45pm, but couldn?t fall asleep for awhile
from excitement. I was still awake when Noah came to bed at 11:30. I
know I fell asleep at some point, though, because I later woke up to go
to the bathroom. I think I slept about an hour.
While
I was laying in bed the baby got very active, and it was not very
comfortable without the cushion of my bag of waters. I went back to
sleep and kind of dozed. At some point I started to have some
contractions, but I was mostly asleep so I didn?t note what time they
started. They were not too intense and I could easily breathe and relax
through them and doze off in between. Noah slept on beside me.
Active labor
At
2:15am I decided to move to the guest bedroom to labor, because I
wanted to use the contraction timer app on the phone but didn?t want to
wake Noah. Looking back, I think I consider this to be when ?active?
labor started. I went downstairs to get my headphones and some
crackers, then got set up in the guestroom. I was kind of in the
?excited? emotional signpost stage of labor. I timed a few contractions
and they were about 5-6 minutes apart and only 45 seconds long, so I
figured it was still pretty early in the process. Since I was a dark
room, the bright light of the phone display was annoying so I didn?t
bother timing more than 3-4 contractions. By now, I no longer wanted to
lie down and relax during the contractions. Instead, it felt better to
be up on my hands and knees during the contractions, and during each
one I would rotate my hips around and look at the light of the moon
through the window shade. It actually felt pretty good to do this
during the contractions. I did that for awhile, and tried to find the
hypnobabies relaxation audio tracks on the phone that I had listened to a
bit during the pregnancy, but I couldn?t find them. I went back and
forth between the guest bedroom and the bathroom, as I felt like I had
to use the toilet somewhat frequently.
At
3:35am I called my midwife Jane, to check in with her and get some
advice. I wondered whether I should keep trying to lie down and relax
during the contractions like I had been doing before, rather than
getting up to kneel. I worried that I was wearing myself out being up
on all fours every few minutes, and wondered if I should be conserving
energy. I thought that I was probably moving into the ?serious?
emotional signpost stage of labor, because I was worried and needing
?advice? about what seemed like a small detail. Jane suggested that I
try to relax if I could, as it might be awhile yet. She also suggested
that I eat something with some protein in it. I told her that I had
noticed some pinkness now to the amniotic fluid, and she said that was
good and meant that I was dilating. We hung up around 3:45am.
I
went back down to the kitchen to get a snack, and now for every
contraction I had to drop to my knees and hang my head down, and I also
now had to moan gently through them a little. At one point I really
felt like I might throw up, so I kneeled over the kitchen garbage for
awhile until it the feeling passed.
Ready for some company
4:00a.m.
Shortly after this, I looked at my watch in the kitchen. It was
4:00am, and I decided that I needed someone with me now to help me
through the contractions. I thought that I?d wake Noah up now, and then
maybe our doula Rebecca could come over around 5:00am, so that she?d be
there in case Lillian woke up and Noah had to go to her. I was pleased
that 5am was only an hour away--the thought of having her come soon
cheered me.
4:05am.
I went upstairs and woke Noah, telling him that I needed some help
dealing with the contractions. This was the first he?d heard that I was
in labor. He asked if he could go to the bathroom first, and I said
sure. While he did that, I had another contraction in our bedroom. I
had to moan more loudly through this one, and at the end of it my body
felt a little pushy, as though it was pushing of its own volition. When
he came back, I said, ?I don?t know if it?s just because I have an
audience now, but that one felt a lot more intense.? I also got the
shakes for a few moments, and my teeth chattered together
uncontrollably. I vaguely remembered that this was a sign of
transition.
4:20am.
We quickly headed downstairs to labor in the family room, so as not to
disturb our sleeping daughter. As we walked down the stairs, Noah
called our midwife and doula. As he was telling them that I was feeling
a little pushy and they should probably start heading over now, I was
thinking that they did not need to come NOW now, maybe just in a little
while. Even as I thought this, I told Noah to relay to Jane that I had
been having the shakes, hoping that she would understand that I might be
in transition even though I couldn?t quite put it into words.
Things get intense
4:23am.
We got to the kitchen and another contraction hit. This was definitely
much more intense. I got the pushy feeling, only stronger, and I also
felt like I needed to poop, NOW. When that contraction ended, I
spluttered single word to Noah-- ?TOILET!? and dashed downstairs to the
basement bathroom (in our house the only bathrooms are upstairs or in
the basement). I had already gone several times in the hour and a half
before waking Noah, so my body had already really cleaned itself out by
this point, but evidently there was more to do. I got on the toilet and
had a hugely intense contraction during which I hollered pretty much at
the top of my lungs. This was the beginning of the most intense part
of the labor. I yelled during all the remaining contractions, because
it was what I needed to do to deal with the sensations. It was an
intense, out-of-control feeling with an immense feeling of downward
pressure. I could no longer relax my body whatsoever to deal with the
contractions. It felt like I was on a runaway train, and all I could do
was hang on for the really uncomfortable ride, and yell. Noah had come
down to the basement but I told him to stay out of the bathroom because
I wanted to clean up and flush. Before I could even catch my breath
from that contraction and get up off the toilet, another one came, and
again my body bore down uncontrollably while I let out a ferocious
holler. I was amazed that I hadn?t woken Lillian with my yelling, as
the sound carries pretty well up to her bedroom through the heating
ducts.
The
contractions were very close together now, so I had precious little
time in between them to do anything at all. When that contraction
ended, I knew I had to act quickly. I got off the toilet, washed up and
ran upstairs to the birth tub in the family room. Earlier, I had
thought that I would probably not get into the tub until the doula or
midwife told me that it was a good point in labor to do so, because I
didn?t want to slow things down by getting in to early. Ha. No one had
to tell me now that it was ok, I was getting IN because things were
obviously moving along. I stripped off my pants and underwear as
quickly as possible, an awkward process at best at 9 months pregnant,
trying to get in before the next one hit. I cried out in frustration as
I discovered ?I have SOCKS on!?, feeling the next contraction coming
on. I got the offending socks off, and as I climbed into the tub, I
told Noah, feeling petulant, ?I don?t want to do this anymore. YOU do
it.? He replied sincerely, ?I would if I could.? Quickly submerging
myself up to my shoulders, I commented, ?It?s hot.? And, ?I hope
someone gets here soon.? Noah replied, ?I know.?
In
between contractions I felt wonderful, with a delicious lack of
discomfort, but during the contractions the sensation was a very intense
downward pressure, and I remember thinking I really did not want to be
doing this right now, and wishing I could just have a 20 minute break
from the contractions. That would be really nice. No such luck. They
were very frequent and so intense and lasting longer. We had set up the
video camera the night before, but now I told Noah ?let?s not turn the
video camera on yet, this isn?t very fun.? I didn?t feel like
memorializing this out-of-control feeling.
During
the next few contractions, I was kneeling in the tub facing outwards
with my arms resting over the edge. When a contraction came, I would
squeeze Noah?s hands and look intently into his eyes. I drew strength
from him as we locked eyes, and I roared at the top of my lungs at the
pressure. He later told me that he wished he had earplugs. He reminded
me to relax my body, to relax my arms, but I could barely hear his
words of guided relaxation over the sound of my vocalizations. I
appreciated the thought, though. During Lillian?s labor, his words had
been really helpful to focus on, and I had been able to relax my body
during contractions which made the sensations more manageable. This
time, it was more his presence I drew strength and comfort from. I
remember reaching for his hands as another contraction began to wash
over me, and he tensed his hands, immediately bracing himself for the
intensity of the grip that I?m sure I gave him at the peak of the last
contraction, but I told him, ?Loosen up.? (Which kind of amused me). I
needed to feel a relaxed feeling.
When
I had been about to get in the tub a few minutes before, I had been
trying to work out how I was going to manage to push the baby out, and
how I was going to deal with the rest of the labor if it was going to go
on like this for a few more hours (classic transition thoughts). In my
last labor with my daughter, the pushing stage had lasted over 3 hours,
me being a first time mom with a posterior baby. I was expecting that I
still had a lot of work ahead of me. But at some point now in the tub,
I had a realization. In between contractions I told Noah with a quiet
confidence, ?You know what? I don?t have to worry about how I?m going
to do this, because my body is just going to do it for me.? I realized
my body WAS doing it. With each contraction, my body pushed
involuntarily. I can?t even remember if the contractions hurt, I just
remember the intensity and not particularly liking the intense
sensations. With each one I felt an immense pressure in my bottom that
was NOT comfortable. I heard my vocalizations getting higher during a
contraction and wanted to tell Noah to remind me to keep my tones low,
but I couldn?t manage to speak, so I just told myself in my head ?keep
your tones low.? It kind of helped.
All by ourselves
At
about 4:35 or 4:40, Noah called Jane our midwife again to see if she
would be arriving soon. I heard her ask him, ?Are you guys having a
baby?? Even then, I thought, ?No, silly, not before you get here!? I
just didn?t think it could happen that soon. She was just several
minutes from our house by then, but just in case she gave Noah some tips
for what to do if the baby came before she got there, and they hung up.
On
one of the next contractions, I began to feel a LOT of pressure down
below, and I reached my hand down and felt a half-dollar sized bit of
squishy baby head RIGHT THERE. I hadn?t felt like reaching down to feel
it with Lillian, but now I did it, and it felt just like I?d heard it
described by others. I told Noah what I felt, and I asked him to turn
on the video camera.
After
the next contraction, which was shorter and less intense, I felt an
extremely full feeling down below, like I was massively stretching. I
suppose that was the baby crowning. It didn?t hurt and I didn?t feel
the ?ring of fire? sensation. I was just immense. I couldn?t say a
word. I could not speak to articulate to Noah what I felt, in this
moment between contractions. I could only hang there suspended in the
water, filled with awe and baby head, with all my senses focused on
feeling this very big expansive sensation in my body. I could tell
?something? was ?happening,? but as it was all so fast, my mind was a
few steps behind in catching on to the full knowledge that I was having
this baby right now.
The
next contraction finally came, and I started to moan again as I had
been during the other contractions, when suddenly the contraction cut
short and I felt the head expelled from my body, POW! Taken off guard, I
swore, ?***!? Not because it hurt (it didn?t), more because I was
startled and was not expecting THAT to happen before any of our birth
team had arrived. Noah, not yet realizing what had just happened,
thought I?d just had a rough contraction and began to murmur soothing
things. I promptly filled him in, saying, ?The head is out!" He got up
quickly and came around to the other side of the tub to get a better
look. Remembering the many birth videos I?d seen, I said not to touch
anything, that the baby's body would probably slip out on the next
contraction. He said ?Ok, but I think it would probably be good if you
could push the baby out as soon as possible.? ?Do you want to catch it,
or do you want me to?? I had planned to wait for the next contraction
to push again, but now while he was saying these things I decided to
bear down a little, and with that the rest of the baby slipped out
before I could answer him. That was the only time in the entire labor
that I intentionally pushed; the rest was all my body?s doing. I
reached down, and Noah reached into the water too and kind of guided the
baby to my hands. I scooped the baby up onto my chest, navigating
around the cord, and turned and sort of sat on my heels and leaned
against the wall of the tub. So we kind of jointly caught the baby, or
he helped me catch, or something. This happened at 4:45am.
After
a few seconds, the baby let out some lusty cries, and we all just sat
there and caught our breath. I was completely stunned at what had just
happened. I couldn?t believe the baby was out already, that my labor
was over. In a way, it was almost anticlimactic (that?s IT?), because I
somehow had it in my head that things would take longer, using my
daughter?s 14 hour posterior labor as a gauge. Not that I was sorry it
was over. My mind was just having a hard time catching up, trying to
wrap itself around the fact that I had a baby in my arms. I realized,
?I did it!? Noah chimed in, ?We did it!...all by ourselves!?
After
a minute or two I asked him to get a towel to put over the baby for
warmth. After another minute, Noah said, ?Let?s check if it?s a boy or a
girl! I?m so excited to find out!? Oh yeah. I hadn?t gotten that far
yet. I turned the baby?s body a bit so we could peek. ?It?s a little
boy!? Noah said, with such sweetness in his voice. ?It is?? I asked. I
couldn?t see very well from my angle, but took his word for it. I
said, ?Maybe we should call someone.? So Noah called Jane, who had just
pulled up in our driveway. She walked in and saw the three of us just
chillin? there, and told us ?You guys are awesome!? She walked over and
observed the baby and me, and said we were both doing great. She had
arrived at 4:50, five minutes after the baby. Our doula rolled in 5
minutes after that, to find us already nursing. Next came the
apprentice midwife, and then awhile later our birth photographer (she
lived the farthest away). Everyone (except Jane) was surprised to walk
in and find an already-born baby awaiting them!
About
a half hour after he was born, I decided I was ready to get out of the
tub, so Noah cut the cord, and I was struck by the strangeness of my
baby moving out of my orbit and across the room away from me for the
very first time. I remember thinking ?I?m not ready for this!?, but it
was already done. In the same moment I felt a contraction, and out the
placenta came. I soon settled in on the pull-out bed and got back to
nursing and admiring the baby.
I?m
so happy we have the video of the moment of birth and afterward
(although pretty much the first thing you get to see is the very last
contraction and then me swearing...nice). Needless to say, we didn?t
have any photos from the labor or birth, but our birth photographer got
tons of beautiful pictures of our first moments as a family of four,
when our daughter woke up around 6:30am to her new baby brother. She
had slept through the entire thing. The timing could not have been
better. She got to help with the newborn exam, with the dude weighing
in at 6 lbs, 14 oz, and measuring 21.5 inches. Our doula and the
midwives made us scrambled eggs and toast and cleaned up. After a few
hours the midwives helped me upstairs to my bedroom where I was tucked
in with my sweet little boy and enjoyed muffins and tea. We named him
Amos.
Amos
was born at 4:45am, which was 7 hours after my water had broken, 3-3.5
hours after I woke up to contractions, an hour after getting off the
phone with my midwife the first time during labor, and and 40 minutes
after I woke my husband up.
Reflections
The
labor and birth were not at all what I expected, from the breaking of
my water, to the intensity and speed, culminating in the very private,
unassisted birth of our son. I had read many such stories but NEVER
imagined that it would happen like this for me.
Looking
back, my husband loves how it happened. Now that the reverberations of
the intensity of the experience have faded somewhat from my
consciousness, I can appreciate the experience, and those precious five
minutes on our own as my husband and I quietly took in our new baby, as
something very special. Although it sounds rather dramatic when people
hear that we had our baby at home before the midwife even got there, it
felt like it really was just kind of something that happened as a matter
of course, with no heroics on our parts. We had our baby, everything
went great, incidentally the midwife got there afterwards and not
before. Just a woman?s body doing its thing, birthing her baby whether a
professional is there yet to witness it or not.
Re: The fast homebirth of Amos
This was such a beautiful birth story--I got chills!! You did an amazing job all on your own! congrats!!