Do you eat meals as a family?

togo · April 2012

Up until now, we never ate dinner as a family. H likes to et in the living room while watching tv and it's easier to feed the kids in the kitchen in their spacesavers. I never grew up eating dinner with the family. We have a two person pub table in the kitchen so our meals would be in the dining room off the kitchen.

How do you do it? Do you make your plates and bring them to the table? Or is it more family style? If it is family style, do you put the food in a serving dish or just bring the pan to the table. My kids will only eat certain things so I make them a separate meal 80% of the time. I'm sure once I get a routine going I won't be over thinking this.

EastCoastBride · April 2012

We try to as much as we can. We make our plates in the kitchen then bring them to the table. But DS eats early so sometimes we'll just sit with him while he eats, and we'll eat after he goes to bed.

Your Dh might "like" to watch in front of the TV, but as a parent, I think he needs to focus on the kids. As they get older and busier, dinner time can be a really important time to just talk and connect w/ one another.

There has been research done around the importance of family dinners. After a quick search, here is one article:

https://dinnertrade.com/568/interesting-statistics-on-family-dinners

jcath · April 2012

We aren't eating with the girls yet but I have two teenaged boys. When they were little I would feed them on their own during the week but we always had a nice Sunday dinner at the table, using real china and everything. Sunday's were/are good for me b/c I usually grocery shop in the morning and have time to cook something nice. Once they got 6 or 7 I tried to have dinner at the table every night possible but no matter what we still have a nice Sunday dinner every week and if on a rare occasion we miss it, my boys complain...which makes me happy.

JillRock96 · April 2012

We do every night, BUT I know we are fortunate that our work schedules allow it. We eat dinner (and lunch on the weekends) in our small dining room. For most meals, the food is on the island in the kitchen (or on the stove), and we just dish out our plates and the girls' plates and bring them in to the dining room.

There was a discussion about this a few months back because of an article that came out (not sure if it is the one you posted), and I know a lot of families just do not have the opportunity to eat dinner together due to work/school schedules. We talked about how eating breakfast together (or lunch, or whatever) is just as rewarding as dinner. And really, it's about quality time together, isn't it?

preheatedoven · April 2012

DH works second shift so our family meal is lunch, and we do eat all together. I usually make a dinner style lunch so that we feel like we have that time together as a family before he leaves for work.

For dinner the kids and I do sit down and eat together, and actually, the three of us usually sit down and have breakfast, too (DH is still sleeping most days).

ETA : sorry, to answer the other question, I usually make up the kids' plates to let them cool, then do family style with the rest.

DeputiesWife · April 2012

Absolutely. It was one thing that was important in DH as well as my families growing up. We talked about our days, and things in general.

Well, when DH is home.

DD and I always have dinner at the dining room table. No TV, no phone calls, no nothing. It is nice.

I prepare our plates at the kitchen counter.

If its the 3 of us, then I prepare hers and then put serving dishes on the table for us.

DD still eats different things than us -- but I typically make sure that she will eat t least on thing we are for the day.

Mouseygail · April 2012

JillRock96:
We do every night, BUT I know we are fortunate that our work schedules allow it. We eat dinner (and lunch on the weekends) in our small dining room. For most meals, the food is on the island in the kitchen (or on the stove), and we just dish out our plates and the girls' plates and bring them in to the dining room.
There was a discussion about this a few months back because of an article that came out (not sure if it is the one you posted), and I know a lot of families just do not have the opportunity to eat dinner together due to work/school schedules. We talked about how eating breakfast together (or lunch, or whatever) is just as rewarding as dinner. And really, it's about quality time together, isn't it?

this! We are lucky to have similar schedules, and eating together is really important to me! We always ate in front of the TV pre-baby, and this was a big adjustment for DH, but my family always ate together and it was something I thought was really important. Even when he was only eating purees, he sat at the table and we took turn feeding him.

But we also like to have the occasional "picnic" in the living room...we all sit around the big ottoman as our table and DS loves being able to walk around, play, grab a bite here and there...and we get to watch tv (its usually during a sporting event that we don't want to miss any of...ha!)

PhillySue · April 2012

Katie and I always eat dinner together and when DH is home from work he always eats with us too. We started eating together as a family very early on as soon as K was eating table foods. We usually make plates and bring them to the table but sometimes I do family style. I would say that 90% of the time Katie eats exactly what we are having with maybe a little variation if there is something I know she really will not eat.

ladychicago · April 2012

I can't wait to be able to do this. As it is now, DH is home from work right as the kids go to bed, so we never all eat together. And even in the weekends, Anna eats breakfast and lunch do much earlier than we want to...it doesn't happen then either (and we prefer to eat weekend dinners alone so we can have some quality marriage time). Someday we will eat weekday dinners together! It will be really imprortant to me as soon as the kids stay up late enough.

GuitaristsGirl · April 2012

Yep, we do. We're also lucky that our schedules allow it. DH comes home "early" so we all eat and play outside, etc., then works from home once we go to bed. Even when he's oot or etc., though, whoever is home sits at the table.

We do eat freakishily early because of the kids, so sometimes DH and I just go through the motions then eat a snack/ leftovers in front of the tv later! But, yes, if we're home, we all sit when the kids are ready for their meal and have "meal time."

DH and I always ate in front of the tv pre-kids, and I'm sure we would both "like" to now but (forgive me for saying, as you didn't ask this) it would really bother me if he continued to do so now just because that's what he prefers. For one, I like/ need the help! This is just one of the many things that has changed, kwim?

As for "how" we do it, we only have one eating area (not an eat in kitchen). When it's just the 4 of us we make plates and take them to the table. If we have anyone else for dinner then I make the kids' plates in the kitchen (because they're always slightly different) and serve the rest family style. Growing up my mom always did family style, but I'm not down for dirty-ing and washing extra serving pieces at this point. Stick out tongue

Dochas · April 2012

My husband gets home late so we just eat late. We eat all of our meals together on the weekend (sometimes I'm not home for lunch if I escape!). I really can't imagine not eating together. Daniel doesn't really eat what we eat so we make our plates and bring them to the table. When he's older I will put everything on the table and we'll serve ourselves from there probably.

I think it's extremely important now and will be even more important when he has his own stuff going on. It's a great time to discuss the day. And learn to eat in a civilized manner. I'm sometimes surprised when we eat with other people and I see them holding their utensils like clubs.

(I have always noticed on the Nanny show that the biggest animals are always using paper plates. I don't know if they use paper plates because their children are animals and broke all the plates. Or if they let their kids act like animals because they eat off paper plates and can't break them. But I'm not taking any chances - we don't have paper plates and table manners are hugely important to me!)

BeccaLandes · April 2012

we eat dinner together 3-4 times a week. 2 nights a week i work late, and on fridays we usually eat after they are in bed.

when we eat together it is usually family style, and i serve from serving bowls at the table. i like to have the boys eat what my husband and i are eating, so on nights we plan to eat together, i will choose to cook something that appeals to all of us.

i grew up eating with my family every night, and the rule was no phone, no books, no newspaper, and no tv during dinner. we do the same in our family. we watch tv after the boys are in bed for the night.

soccerwife · April 2012

We only eat meals together on the weekends. My kids actually eat dinner before I get home from work because they're hungry around 5 ish. When i get home at 5:30, we start homework and I cook dinner for me and DH, who doesn't get home til 7 (on a good night). The 2 of us eat together and the 2 kids eat together.

We usually eat dinner out on Saturdays and either get take-out or I cook on Sundays.

hopecounts · April 2012

We eat dinner as a family 6 nights a week. we fix plates and bring them to our dining table in the great room, we have a small cafe table in the kitchen so we don't eat in there very often.

DD and I have lunch together as well (I'm a sahm) and for that meal I fix us both whatever, sometimes it's the same thing sometimes not.

We're starting to have DD eat what we eat as I have no intention of making two meals and I want to make that transition before she's in the habit of eating her own meal. It's probably 50-50 right now. A lot depends on what we're having, when we're having more kid friendly dinners (pot roast, grilled chicken, spaghetti, etc.) I fix her what we're having if it's more adult I will fix her something I know she likes and offer a little of what we're having too.

1 night a week DH and I eat dinner after DD goes to bed so we can have a "date" every week. So that night DD has one of her favorites and whoever isn't doing the bedtime routine fixes dinner then we eat.

Family dinners are so important (as the link the poster above shows) and we've had DD eat with us since she started table food.

She's learned to sit at the table (in her space saver seat) and eat with us nicely which makes going out for dinner or to eat with relatives or friends so much nicer as we can all eat and enjoy our meal 99% of the time.

artygirl · April 2012

Most nights we do eat together. Sometimes DH gets home too late and in that case, Lucas and I eat together at the dining room table. To cut down on clean up we usually make the plates in the kitchen and bring them to the table. If we are having a fancy meal, we will use serving dishes and serve ourselves at the table. DH and I used to always eat our meals in front of the tv, but now we all eat together at the table. It's nice....unles Lucas throw a tantrum because he doesn't like the cup I gave him.

MBandBud · April 2012

You are so not overthinking this! It is hard! It was one of the biggest adjustments for our family. We used to eat whenever, at the bar in our kitchen watching TV. Then I was really wanting to eat together but we also only have a more formal dining room. I didn't care! I felt like this was important and we made the change. We serve the plates up and bring them in; every night there is the question of what to make DD, but we do a rotation of pasta, rice or couscous for a starch and some veg - usually frozen. I make enough for leftovers to have 2-3 nights later as well and rotate through. We try to come up with meal ideas for us in the beginning of the week b/c our work schedules make it difficult. Once I realized we could do it I relaxed a bit - it is nice sometimes to have it just be us - we eat after DD goes to bed. We always try to eat early on the weekends b/c it is easier on those days.

MrsJeffsWife2B · April 2012

In our old house our dining room became Jasper's playroom and the DR table got pushed off to the side and eventually became a computer desk. So we didn't have anywhere to eat OTHER than infront of the TV.

In our new (much bigger) house we have a proper dining room right off the kitchen and family meals are my FAVORITE thing about the new house hands down. IMO it's such an important time to connect with eachother..

However, that may all go to hell in a hand-basket once the twins arrive. We'll see!

chocolatechip06 · April 2012

We don't since DH comes home later and will help put DS to bed before he eats. I'm usually starving by 6 pm so I eat then after DS has his dinner.

Now that he can feed himself I think that him and I will start eating dinner together. When we are at my parents house for lunch or dinner we always eat dinner together. At my IL's DH and I eat together, because FIL won't normally eat dinner until 11 pm or so.

alchris · April 2012

Both extremes -- we rarely eat breakfast or lunch together, but we nearly always eat dinner together. The only times we don't eat dinner together are when I have a meeting. Before Kira was born and until she turned 1, DH and I were really bad about eating dinner in front of the TV, but it was really important to me that we start to eat at the table, so for about 3 years now we've eaten nearly every dinner together at the table. Now we never get to watch the things on our DVR. ;-)

togo · April 2012

EastCoastBride:
We try to as much as we can. We make our plates in the kitchen then bring them to the table. But DS eats early so sometimes we'll just sit with him while he eats, and we'll eat after he goes to bed.

Your Dh might "like" to watch in front of the TV, but as a parent, I think he needs to focus on the kids. As they get older and busier, dinner time can be a really important time to just talk and connect w/ one another.

There has been research done around the importance of family dinners. After a quick search, here is one article:

https://dinnertrade.com/568/interesting-statistics-on-family-dinners

Thanks for the link. I sent it to dh to look at. I want to start eating dinner as a family every day, but I think I may have to start with a couple of days a week and work from there until I get a routine established. I totally agree with everyone on how important it is to eat as a family with no distractions, especially in this day and age with all the electronic communication.

I appreciate everyone's responses, thank you.

ALY1981 · April 2012

DeputiesWife:
Absolutely. It was one thing that was important in DH as well as my families growing up. We talked about our days, and things in general.
Well, when DH is home.
DD and I always have dinner at the dining room table. No TV, no phone calls, no nothing. It is nice.
I prepare our plates at the kitchen counter.
If its the 3 of us, then I prepare hers and then put serving dishes on the table for us.
DD still eats different things than us -- but I typically make sure that she will eat t least on thing we are for the day.

Exactly this!

choco_lab · April 2012

I sit and eat breakfast and lunch with the kids (even DS2 that is 5 months old sits with us and eats some baby food). I think it's so important. For dinner, DH is home and we all eat together. No TV, no blackberry and NO newspaper/mag! I had break DH of the reading habit (carried over from when it was just the two of us) and it's been very hard transition for him. But after saying to him, "DH, can you please tell DS1 what you are reading about.. he's staring at the newspaper trying to see your face." (Because he WAS.. he wanted time to talk to his DAD!) Our lives are so busy.. I want dinner to always be a time that the kids know they have our attention and we can talk about our day. I always have DS1 tell DH what we did that day. He's so proud to be able to share that with DH. I know where your DH is coming from in that he wants to eat his dinner with some peace and quiet while watching TV.. but maybe use the old line about "when the kids are at college.. will you remember all those nights you watched TV while eating dinner.. or all those great conversations we had eating together?"

Cajunladybug22 · April 2012

We do, unless one of us has to work late. However, we sit together in front of the ottoman in the living room and put DD in her high chair. We fix our plates in the kitchen, then bring everything to the living room.

Growing up, my family, plus a couple of my friends would all eat together around the table in the kitchen and talk. It was an awesome tradition and I want to continue that with my family. We'll get away fromt the TV soon.

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