Pregnant after a Loss

I'm so thankful everyone here is so supportive

Even when its just a vent the woman on this board are so supportive. I ranted on the 3rd trimester board about something that had really hurt my feelings and most of the woman ripped into me one even made a separate post making a joke out of me. I have had tons of personal health complications with this pregnancy coupled with the general stress of being pgal and I was stupid enough to complain that I asked my husband to make dinner once and he passive aggressively screwed it into the ground messing up the easiest meal ever. I'm apparently a brat and a terrible wife with no reason to be angry. But you ladies are always a friendly ear. I'm so sick and in so much pain and so scared and all I wanted was DH to step up for one night for me and I blew my top that he couldnt pull together making pasta out of a box for us. I dont have a lot of people I can talk to because my family only likes good news no one wants to hear how bad off I am so I just smile and try to carry on. I am thankful there are women here that understand the added stress and dont mock someone for the sake of putting your claws into a stranger
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Re: I&#039;m so thankful everyone here is so supportive

  • We've all suffered enough, it isn't necessary to pull anyone down (unless they deserve it) Wink I thoroughly enjoy this place too!

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    Married August 9, 2008
    TTC Since September 2009

    1st   BFP | EDD 10/23/10 | Natural M/C 03/27/10 | 10w 0d
    2nd BFP 06/26/10 | EDD 02/25/11 | Natural  M/C 07/17/10 | 8w 1d
    3rd  BFP 12/17/10 | EDD 08/24/11 | Natural M/C 12/31/10 | 7w 4d
    4th  BFP 06/22/11 | EDD 02/25/12 | M/C D&C on 07/27/11 | 9w4d
    5th  BFP 09/17/11 | DD Paige Lily born 05/16/12
    6th  BFP 08/11/12 | EDD 04/11/13 | CP
    7th  BFP 09/29/13 | EDD 06/04/14 | Natural M/C 10/27/13 | 8w1d
    8th  BFP 12/16/13 | EDD 09/01/14

    DX: Pericentric Inversion of Chromosome 8 & compound heterozygous for MTHFR mutations
    RX: Lovenox/Heparin & Folgard

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  • I agree, I love this board. I never felt l like I could post anything on the trimester boards last time around. Its nice to just chat and feel supported and really that's all we need right now. 

     

    Good luck to you and I hope your DH makes you a nice meal, even if its an easy one. I obviously don't know the circumstances but I don't think that's too much to ask.  

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  • I only stick to the PGAL board. I did my August board once and realized it wasn't for me. This place is great!
    Married: 9-25-09
    BFP #1: 8-24-11 MMC: 8 weeks 6 days D&C
    BFP #2: 12-9-11 Beautiful DD Born: 8-19-12
    BFP #3: 8-22-13 Chemical Pregnancy: 4 weeks
    BFP #4: 1-1-14 Praying Daily for H&H 9 Months
    ~Always Remembering our Angel Babies~

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  • He purposely messed it up because he didnt want to cook I had to redo the dinner he later owned up to it and apologized and will be cooking tomorrow as an apology. I just was so shocked that so many women wanted to call be a brat and such especially when even DH thought he was out of line. Oh well internet strangers will behave the way they think they can get away with. Though I am sure I am overly sensitive right now being so close to having our baby I keep thinking something is going to happen. I'm sure everything will be okay in the end but it is so hard to be so close right now
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  • I agree! I'm not on much but this is the only board I am on anymore. :-)  Everyone here has been great!
    DX with didelphic uterus in 2008. TTC for one year and then moved to domestic adoption. Matched with Birthmom in July 2010. DS born 12/26/10 and made us a family of three! Surprise BFP on 3/24/12!
  • imagedragossoul84:
    He purposely messed it up because he didnt want to cook I had to redo the dinner he later owned up to it and apologized and will be cooking tomorrow as an apology. I just was so shocked that so many women wanted to call be a brat and such especially when even DH thought he was out of line. Oh well internet strangers will behave the way they think they can get away with. Though I am sure I am overly sensitive right now being so close to having our baby I keep thinking something is going to happen. I'm sure everything will be okay in the end but it is so hard to be so close right now
    And if you had written your post on third tri like you did here, you probably wouldn't have gotten flamed. But your post on the other board was a whiny rant about how your husband is too big of idiot to be able to make pasta correctly despite his two degrees and can't go to the store correctly. You also admitted that you are not following your doctor's orders despite it supposedly being a life or death situation for you and your LO-that will get you flamed over here too
    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • OP, I'm going to try to be as nice as possible. I read your other post on 3rd Tri. You ranted and raved about your husband (who has two degrees, by the way,  not sure what that has to do with anything), screwed up dinner, and you had to go and re-do everything. You also said that you went against your doctor's orders of strict bed rest to go to the store because you find him too incompetent to do it.Then, you went on and on about how you "can't have fast food/take out" because you are on a very strict diet of NO FAT? That makes no sense because you sent your DH to the store for 1. Pasta and jarred tomato sauce 2. Sausage 3. Bread. Not the healthiest food in the world. I'm sorry, I'm not buying it.

    Yeah, you got flamed because many women would be appreciative that their husband tried at all. "It's the thought that counts."

  • I'm sorry you had to go through that I hope tomorrow is a better day. 

    BFP: 01/08/11 EDD: 09/15/11 Natural MC: 02/03/11
    BFP: 02/14/12 EDD: 10/26/12 D&C: 03/09/12
    BFP: 04.05.12 EDD: 12.17.12 Born 11.18.12 Jackson Kane 6lbs 5ounces

    BFP: 06.08.13 EDD: 02.13.14 Baby Girl.. 2U2 Here we come

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  • imageMrsNorry:

    OP, I'm going to try to be as nice as possible. I read your other post on 3rd Tri. You ranted and raved about your husband (who has two degrees, by the way,  not sure what that has to do with anything), screwed up dinner, and you had to go and re-do everything. You also said that you went against your doctor's orders of strict bed rest to go to the store because you find him too incompetent to do it.Then, you went on and on about how you "can't have fast food/take out" because you are on a very strict diet of NO FAT? That makes no sense because you sent your DH to the store for 1. Pasta and jarred tomato sauce 2. Sausage 3. Bread. Not the healthiest food in the world. I'm sorry, I'm not buying it.

    Yeah, you got flamed because many women would be appreciative that their husband tried at all. "It's the thought that counts."

    THANK YOU! You said it better then I could. I'm sorry but the whole story reeks of MUD and I would love to see what kind of diet consists of those ingredients because I have never heard of it. And honestly, like I said before, if you had posted that on this board you would have gotten flamed too. You just left out the parts that made you look less then stellar when you came over here to whine about the meanies on 3rd tri.

    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • OP, not to mention you went on to brag all about your "estate" which includes: a small barn, 4 horse stable, pond, gunite pool, pool house with half bath, and then a main house which is 3300 sqft including a nursery addition we built and several acres of land.

    I don't know what any of that has to do with your husbands ability to cook dinner or not but it does make you sound entitled and like you are bragging. That could be part of the reason that you were flamed. 

  • The sausage and bread is for him. I asked him to make me simple dish pasta and sauce because it is not high in fat or sodium. I would have loved something with veggies and such but thought that would be to complicated for him so stuck to the easiest thing I could eat. I was made about him screwing up the sausage and the bread because theres no reason for him to waste food or money because he has to make one meal. Being on bed rest is fine when there is some one else to do what needs to be done but when DH purposely screws up the shopping trip so he doesnt have to do it and screws up cooking so I will get frustrated and take over because god forbid I want something other than soup what am I supposed to do. I am very sick I wanted some help and didnt get it. I think that you just want to go off on someone, especially when the other person involved already said he was in the wrong with his behavior.
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  • Yeah, sorry OP - your rant on 3rd Tri was whiny and entitled. You got a flaming because it was deserved.  Dropping the "estate" thing in the thread was the nail in the coffin. If you couldn't have predicted that on TB, you haven't been paying attention. 

    We've all had a rough ride here. DHs mess up sometimes. Dinners get burned.  There are far worse things in life to get upset about. 

    2 years TTC with 5 losses, 1 year recovering, 6 months applying for adoption approval, and almost a year waiting for a placement. Then, a miracle BFP at age 36!


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  •  I was explaining what I meant by estate as it had been questioned by some one else. I work my butt off prior to getting sick to maintain everything its hard work. Further my complaint was never that the dinner got burned. It wasnt burned my problem with my DH was despite everything I'm dealing with he wasnt willing to put effort into helping me one night when I reached out for it. He even agreed he wasnt putting the effort in because he didnt want to do it that is what had me so upset. I cant just get take out and be done with it I can have a few things we have at home or soup. I'm sick I'm scared and I wanted him to look after me tonight he wanted to play his video game so instead of just leveling with me he was passive aggressive and screwed everything up until I got frustrated enough to redo it. I mentioned his degrees because he is very smart and I know the things I was asking him to do weren't out of the realm of reasonable for him. If he had been really trying and screwed up I wouldnt have been mad it was that I knew he was messing up on purpose to get out of doing it.
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  • Honestly OP you can try to spin it how you want, your other post and every single response you made in said post sounded incredibly entitled, whiny and unappreciative of your husband. I know you had a rough time, but seriously, these are first world problems.

    If your husband is such a jerk that he will passive aggressively ruin dinner for his bed-ridden, pregnant wife (who normally does EVERYTHING), then you have bigger problems than this one dinner being ruined, and I would recommend some counseling. GL.

  • He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.
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  • imagedragossoul84:
    He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.

    Nobody is faulting you for venting-we all need to vent sometimes. But the way you went about it was pretty dramatic, not to mention that it kept twisting and turning and was full of back pedaling.

    While I personally think you were a little hard on DH, that was never what troubled me about your post. What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that you have been ignoring your doctor's orders when you clearly have some health issues that warrent the need to be on strict bedrest.

    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • imagekellbelle618:

    imagedragossoul84:
    He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.

    Nobody is faulting you for venting-we all need to vent sometimes. But the way you went about it was pretty dramatic, not to mention that it kept twisting and turning and was full of back pedaling.

    While I personally think you were a little hard on DH, that was never what troubled me about your post. What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that you have been ignoring your doctor's orders when you clearly have some health issues that warrent the need to be on strict bedrest.

    I would love to just stay on bed rest like I'm told. What can I do I send him to the store he doesnt pick up the right stuff for him or me. I asked the one woman how to order groceries online but never got a response and I dont know any where around here that does it. I send him for soup for me he gets something with high sodium or what not. I dont have any one to shop for me since its too much for DH to handle on his own. You have no idea how scared I am about my health or how hard I'm trying to do whats right for me for my lo for everyone that counts on me. Everyone assumed I was complaining about this sweet guy trying his best over the stove and messed it up on accident. I was complaining and kept saying I was mad because I knew he was just screwing it up to get out of doing it. I am so scared and in so much pain and I dont know what to do. I asked for help and was totally let down and it made me furious and when I posted originally I couldnt explain myself as well as I wanted. But all I wanted was to get how angry I was off my chest because being angry isnt good for me either.  My diet I'm not allowed fat my dr said no fat I'm trying to stick to that as much as possible but its really hard. I am also supposed to stay away from salt and sugar. If you have take out options  you can suggest I'd love to hear them instead of calling me names because I'm really between a rock and hard place food wise.

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  • imagedragossoul84:
    He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.

    No one ever said you couldn't vent-we all have hard days. This isn't the pain Olympics. And, FTR, I wasn't saying you were entitled because you expect your husband to help you. That's a given in any partnership. But you ripped into the poor guy for messing up dinner. You never mentioned in your original OP that he intentionally did this. I think you would have received different responses had you mentioned that, but you didn't. You also kept changing your story and adding to it as you saw fit throughout the thread. That is mainly what made me disagree with your attitude and your standpoint. 

    Either way, I'm glad you had a chance to talk to your DH. Hopefully he will be more helpful to you from here on out. GL.

  • When I first posted I was too angry and frustrated to really express myself correctly and I was trying to explain things as ppl brought them up. If any one has suggestions for take out places with no fat, low sodium, no sugar options I would love to know about them some one else mentioned buying groceries online and I asked how to do that since I had never heard of it but I didnt get a response. I'd really prefer suggestions on how to make my situation better than people telling me where I'm wrong. Help is always more useful.
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  • imagedragossoul84:
    imagekellbelle618:

    imagedragossoul84:
    He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.

    Nobody is faulting you for venting-we all need to vent sometimes. But the way you went about it was pretty dramatic, not to mention that it kept twisting and turning and was full of back pedaling.

    While I personally think you were a little hard on DH, that was never what troubled me about your post. What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that you have been ignoring your doctor's orders when you clearly have some health issues that warrent the need to be on strict bedrest.

    I would love to just stay on bed rest like I'm told. What can I do I send him to the store he doesnt pick up the right stuff for him or me. I asked the one woman how to order groceries online but never got a response and I dont know any where around here that does it. I send him for soup for me he gets something with high sodium or what not. I dont have any one to shop for me since its too much for DH to handle on his own. You have no idea how scared I am about my health or how hard I'm trying to do whats right for me for my lo for everyone that counts on me. Everyone assumed I was complaining about this sweet guy trying his best over the stove and messed it up on accident. I was complaining and kept saying I was mad because I knew he was just screwing it up to get out of doing it. I am so scared and in so much pain and I dont know what to do. I asked for help and was totally let down and it made me furious and when I posted originally I couldnt explain myself as well as I wanted. But all I wanted was to get how angry I was off my chest because being angry isnt good for me either.  My diet I'm not allowed fat my dr said no fat I'm trying to stick to that as much as possible but its really hard. I am also supposed to stay away from salt and sugar. If you have take out options  you can suggest I'd love to hear them instead of calling me names because I'm really between a rock and hard place food wise.

    Perhaps you should go back and reread your original post. More then one person told you where to go to order groceries online. Also a simple google search could have answered that for you as well.

    What about salads? There are plenty of places where you can order salads without dressing or cheese. You could also easily make salad at home, that's what I have to do alot because I am on bedrest too and salad is quick, easy and healthy.

    Do you not have a single friend or family member that can help you out? Make a detailed shopping list and send someone else. If you truly have no one who can help, then you should look into to hiring someone. It appears you can afford to do so and I understand that you hate wasting money and hiring help, etc, but you it's not worth risking your health and the health of your LO just because you can't trust DH to bring the right things home from the store.

    Finally, please show me where I called you names. I never once called you names-did I say you were being dramatic sure, because IMO you are-I understand being frustrated with DH but it's not worth getting worked up over. If your DH truly did this on purpose just to mess with you, it sounds like you and DH have some issues you need to work through. If he just screwed up, then cut the guy a little slack and give him another chance to try again.

    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • And yes, if your DH screwed up dinner on purpose to spite you, then yes he deserved to have his @$$ chewed- I don't disagree with you there, but in your OP that isn't what you said-that came out later.
    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • Places do have salads I guess I'm worried about them having pesticides or not being cleaned. I dont have anyone that can do the shop for me. I really hate hiring people to do things I used to be able to. I guess it may come down to it though. I googled it in my area for ordering groceries online I couldnt find a service thats why I asked that person to tell me more about it, but I didnt get a response. We do have money well my husband does. I feel funny about spending it I cant explain it I know its our money now and he has never made an issue of it but I dunno it just feels weird. We are working on our issues this being the primary one I had to grow up very young and he was never made to grow up because his family and their money always took care of things for him. So some times he screws up on purpose so he's not bothered with it any more. Like I said we are working on it it has gotten better tonight he was just a jerk about it. Honestly It would probably just be better if I caved and hired a maid for a couple months to cover giving birth and then the surgery I have to go through after giving birth.
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  • imagedragossoul84:
    imagekellbelle618:

    imagedragossoul84:
    He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.

    Nobody is faulting you for venting-we all need to vent sometimes. But the way you went about it was pretty dramatic, not to mention that it kept twisting and turning and was full of back pedaling.

    While I personally think you were a little hard on DH, that was never what troubled me about your post. What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that you have been ignoring your doctor's orders when you clearly have some health issues that warrent the need to be on strict bedrest.

    I would love to just stay on bed rest like I'm told. What can I do I send him to the store he doesnt pick up the right stuff for him or me. I asked the one woman how to order groceries online but never got a response and I dont know any where around here that does it. I send him for soup for me he gets something with high sodium or what not. I dont have any one to shop for me since its too much for DH to handle on his own. You have no idea how scared I am about my health or how hard I'm trying to do whats right for me for my lo for everyone that counts on me. Everyone assumed I was complaining about this sweet guy trying his best over the stove and messed it up on accident. I was complaining and kept saying I was mad because I knew he was just screwing it up to get out of doing it. I am so scared and in so much pain and I dont know what to do. I asked for help and was totally let down and it made me furious and when I posted originally I couldnt explain myself as well as I wanted. But all I wanted was to get how angry I was off my chest because being angry isnt good for me either.  My diet I'm not allowed fat my dr said no fat I'm trying to stick to that as much as possible but its really hard. I am also supposed to stay away from salt and sugar. If you have take out options  you can suggest I'd love to hear them instead of calling me names because I'm really between a rock and hard place food wise.

    First of all, if you've been on this strict life or death bed rest for a while now (which is what I believe you indicated) then who the hell has been cooking up to this point?  Secondly, you are on bed rest.  If he goes to the store and gets the wrong thing then what you do is put on your d@mn big girl panties and deal with it.  Strict bed rest doesn't mean to stay in bed until you feel like you have something more important than the life and health of your baby to do or until you feel like you need to save a lousy $2 on a loaf of garlic bread.  FFS, you were just whining over the weekend that you are so sick and miserable that you want to be induced a full month early...and now all of a sudden you're well enough to go to the store  I've been on strict bedrest for almost 7 weeks now and sometimes my husband makes some meals that are seriously not fun to eat, but guess what....I EAT IT ANYWAY!!!!  My babies are much too important to me to risk their safety because my husband forgot to get the BOGO free bread at the store.  You're an idiot.  You deserved all the flaming you got. As a woman who is pregnant after loss myself it floors me that you would go against your doctors orders just because you're having a pissy, spoiled brat hissy fit.  Grow up.

  • imagedragossoul84:
    Places do have salads I guess I'm worried about them having pesticides or not being cleaned. I dont have anyone that can do the shop for me. I really hate hiring people to do things I used to be able to. I guess it may come down to it though. I googled it in my area for ordering groceries online I couldnt find a service thats why I asked that person to tell me more about it, but I didnt get a response. We do have money well my husband does. I feel funny about spending it I cant explain it I know its our money now and he has never made an issue of it but I dunno it just feels weird. We are working on our issues this being the primary one I had to grow up very young and he was never made to grow up because his family and their money always took care of things for him. So some times he screws up on purpose so he's not bothered with it any more. Like I said we are working on it it has gotten better tonight he was just a jerk about it. Honestly It would probably just be better if I caved and hired a maid for a couple months to cover giving birth and then the surgery I have to go through after giving birth.

    You just have to put yourself and the health of your baby first. If your doctor says bedrest, you need to do it even though it sucks. I have no idea what your doctor told you, but mine was very specific about getting up only to eat, shower or go to the bathroom. She was also very specific about not going to the store. You just have to remember this situation is temporary. So if that means sucking it up and hiring some help temporarily and you can afford to do so, then by all means do it. You don't need to be shopping and doing other household chores at this point. I wish I could afford to hire a maid or something to help out but it is not possible for us, so the responsibility falls to DH. I feel bad and wish I can help, but I know that right now my only job is take care of this LO. Sometimes it is frustrating when he doesn't do things the way that I would do them, but I remind myself that he is trying and I am grateful to him for stepping up.

    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • imageallisonmarie22:

    As a woman who is pregnant after loss myself it floors me that you would go against your doctors orders just because you're having a pissy, spoiled brat hissy fit.  Grow up.

    That surprised me too.

    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • imagedragossoul84:
    Places do have salads I guess I'm worried about them having pesticides or not being cleaned. I dont have anyone that can do the shop for me. I really hate hiring people to do things I used to be able to. I guess it may come down to it though. I googled it in my area for ordering groceries online I couldnt find a service thats why I asked that person to tell me more about it, but I didnt get a response. We do have money well my husband does. I feel funny about spending it I cant explain it I know its our money now and he has never made an issue of it but I dunno it just feels weird. We are working on our issues this being the primary one I had to grow up very young and he was never made to grow up because his family and their money always took care of things for him. So some times he screws up on purpose so he's not bothered with it any more. Like I said we are working on it it has gotten better tonight he was just a jerk about it. Honestly It would probably just be better if I caved and hired a maid for a couple months to cover giving birth and then the surgery I have to go through after giving birth.

     

    OP, you have made EVERY excuse under the sun about why you couldn't have possibly eaten anything other than the pasta.  Stop making excuses.  If you know your husband can't cook, don't ask him to! Ask him to put some salad in a bowl for you next time.

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  • I'm going to base my post on what you have said on this board. I think even the best of us pregnant women have had our moments where even a simple problem may feel like a much bigger issue and often this causes us to over react. However, if your husband intentionally messed up your meal because he was being selfish and couldn't be bothered to help out his pregnant bedrest ordered wife, then I agree that there are bigger issues at hand. I hope your husband grows up, because as soon as your baby is here he won't be able to act so selfishly. Maybe some counseling would be a good idea. I hope things get worked out.
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  • imagedragossoul84:
    imagekellbelle618:

    imagedragossoul84:
    He has apologized and we had a sit down talk about it. I dont need to spin it any way that is what happened. DH is normally a really good guy he is just really miserable with responsibility. His family has always been able to hire some one else to do something or his mom took care of it. I dont think it is entitled to expect my partner to make me one meal. I think a lot of you that were so quick to jump down my throat without even asking what was wrong with dinner or listening to why I was angry. I dont know why expecting one meal makes me entitled or a brat but your entitled to your opinion no matter how off base or ill formed it is. I am sick and exhausted and giving everything I have to my husband and LO. If I'm lucky I will get my test results back when the drs office opens this morning and I will be able have a little less stress on my plate. I am thankful to the women here that understand some times you just need to vent with all this extra stress going on.

    Nobody is faulting you for venting-we all need to vent sometimes. But the way you went about it was pretty dramatic, not to mention that it kept twisting and turning and was full of back pedaling.

    While I personally think you were a little hard on DH, that was never what troubled me about your post. What I can't wrap my brain around is the fact that you have been ignoring your doctor's orders when you clearly have some health issues that warrent the need to be on strict bedrest.

    I would love to just stay on bed rest like I'm told. What can I do I send him to the store he doesnt pick up the right stuff for him or me. I asked the one woman how to order groceries online but never got a response and I dont know any where around here that does it. I send him for soup for me he gets something with high sodium or what not. I dont have any one to shop for me since its too much for DH to handle on his own. You have no idea how scared I am about my health or how hard I'm trying to do whats right for me for my lo for everyone that counts on me. Everyone assumed I was complaining about this sweet guy trying his best over the stove and messed it up on accident. I was complaining and kept saying I was mad because I knew he was just screwing it up to get out of doing it. I am so scared and in so much pain and I dont know what to do. I asked for help and was totally let down and it made me furious and when I posted originally I couldnt explain myself as well as I wanted. But all I wanted was to get how angry I was off my chest because being angry isnt good for me either.  My diet I'm not allowed fat my dr said no fat I'm trying to stick to that as much as possible but its really hard. I am also supposed to stay away from salt and sugar. If you have take out options  you can suggest I'd love to hear them instead of calling me names because I'm really between a rock and hard place food wise.

    Is there someone you could hire for an hour or two a few times a week that could do errands for you and help around the house? Maybe they could get the groceries for you and just overall lighten your load.

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  • OP-- as I said in the other thread: Hire someone to cook for you if DH can't do it the way you want. It will save stress on him and you. It will be well worth your money and you won't be putting your health at risk. Please stop making excuses for that behavior. I think you are being a control freak about the food in order to have control over SOMETHING. You may be frightened about being on bed rest or the well-being of your baby. You may have a lot of things going on for you emotionally, but you need to cool it. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt that you aren't MUD and just freaked out about your situation. However, the more I read the more I am prone to believe you are just trying to stir up drama. 

    Also, please see below!

    imagedragossoul84:


    I asked the one woman how to order groceries online but never got a response and I dont know any where around here that does it.



    Actually, I gave you the weblink for a NATIONAL service that does it. The instructions on how to order are there for you to do it. I am going to give you enough credit that your reading comprehension doesn't stink so badly that you can simply follow the directions provided, yes?

    Here it is again, since you seemed to have missed it:

    imageBettyBookworm:


    https://www.healthychefcreations.com/ -- it's nationwide food delivery. If your husband is truly as inept as you claim, save time, money & precious blood pressure spikes by investing in this service. You can nuke in the microwave.


    Also, this post in an attempt to garner sympathy from PGAL is backfiring, I think. You just need to admit that you sounded like a brat, had a bad moment and threw a tantrum. Admit it and move on. All this whining about how "we just don't understand" and are meanie-heads for giving you a swift kick to the rear that you needed is dumb.

    Lastly, a big DITTO to the sentiment that if your husband has a very pregnant, sick and bed-ridden wife & he PURPOSELY (or so you say, but I don't really buy it) messed up dinner (kind of a vital thing for a growing fetus and the mother supporting it) then he is a vindictive, immature jerk of the highest order. If anything, I would worry more about the way my husband was treating me in my condition than if he picked up the right groceries. It seems to me you are not seeing the forest for the trees here.

    I would get a counselor to work out the issues in your marriage. This is about way more than cooking, you pick up what I'm putting down?
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