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I give up!!!

Kmalissa08Kmalissa08 member
in Working Moms

I've been working 45 plus hours a week since my daughter was 6 weeks old. My boyfriend is an athlete and travels for his job so we only see him one weekend a month until the end of September.

My boss sat me down the other day and told me that I'm missing too much work. LO was sick w/ a double ear infection and bronchitus at the same time. I missed 2 days for that, a couple of hours for LO's 2 mth appointment and one sick day when I had the stomach flu. Now she's asking me if I can find someone else to take my daughter to her 4 mth appointment. I was temping here when I was 8 mths pregnant. My boss offered me the job knowing that I'm basicly a single mother.

I'm so fed up with working a full time job and trying to take care of my daughter by myself! I put in my 2 weeks a week ago. I'll be staying home with my lo and might bo back to waiting tables a couple times a week for extra money while my mom watches her.

 Is anyone else giving up work??

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Re: I give up!!!

  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member

    I'm sorry you are struggling.

    Why isn't your BF (assuming he's the father) helping more?  Can you afford to SAH w/ no income?

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  • CrazyToastCrazyToast member
    imageKathrynMD:

    I'm sorry you are struggling.

    Why isn't your BF (assuming he's the father) helping more?  Can you afford to SAH w/ no income?

    I agree on the questions.

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  • Kmalissa08Kmalissa08 member

    He is the father. LO was a surprise to us and my bf is an olympic cyclist. Being that the Olympics are this year, he was already commited to lots of racing and training all over the states and in London. He'll be traveling like this till the games are over. (end of september)

    We can afford for me to stay at home at least for a little while, but I was saving a lot of money for our big move in October so I'm not really sure how that will work out now.

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  • vigurlvigurl member

    My DH and I have a similar situation so I feel for you.  All employers are NOT like that though.  I work in a very large corporate office and I missed 6 unscheduled days in January.  I apologized profusely but my manager said don't sweat it do what you have to.  That also does not could the 2 or 3 additional times I got the "come pick up your child" call from daycare.

     

    I have only been with this employer since October so I was scared for my job but they have been very understanding. 

     

    So I say all that to say find another job that is going to be more flexible.  Once you get a job offer let them know you are ?a single parent? and you will do your best to find other arrangements when necessary but during cold/flu season and for your child?s well visits you may need some flexibility.  The time between well visits increase after 1 yr so the situation with doctors? appointments get better. 

     

    The longer you are out of the work force the harder it is to get back in depending on what your career is.  Do not let this boss discourage you from being a working mom.

     

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  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    FMLA would've covered this if your employer was big enough (I think 25 employees?).  They wouldn't have had to pay you for the days you took, but they couldn't have disciplined you.

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


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  • vigurlvigurl member

    imageSummerOH:
    FMLA would've covered this if your employer was big enough (I think 25 employees?).  They wouldn't have had to pay you for the days you took, but they couldn't have disciplined you.

    She hasn't worked there long enough for FMLA.  She was hired at 8 months and her child is only 3 months old.

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  • erikapherikaph member

    You're not going to like this, but I'll respond anyway.  I totally understand how stressful it is to be a single parent.  I'm a single mom right now, working full time while my DH is in rehab. I work 40 hours a week at a job that's 45 minutes away in each direction.   I'm barely making ends meet on my salary, but I'm doing so for my child.  I have everyone under the sun helping me out right now.  I have my neighbor taking DD to school 3 days a week, I have my mom watching her the other 2 days.  I have my dad doing things for me around the house.  My IL's are helping us pay for some of our medical expenses, etc.   It truly does take a village.  It's hard.  REALLY hard, but we all make our choices and have to live with them.

    With all this said, I'm not sure that it's the best decision in the long term to just quit working.  You can always try and find another job, but it's always better to do so while you're still employed.  You can talk to your boss about it.  Say you want to find something closer to home, with more flexibility and hopefully she can provide a good reference for you. 

     Sick days happen and you should try and find a back up plan.  Can your mom watch LO when she is sick?  Do you have any friends/neighbors/SAHM's who could watch her for those days?  I have plan A, plan B and plan C for my sick days. 

    Finally, how are you going to provide your child health insurance if you're not married to her father and you don't have any income?  

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