How old is to old?
Hi Ladies,
I have a question. Have you thought about how old is to old to have a baby? Do you have an age in your head, when you will stop trying to have a baby? Will you stop at nothing to have a baby?
When I started ttc, I was 36. I told my husband if I did not have a baby by the time I was 39, I was done trying. I will be 40 in April and still no baby. I finished my 2nd IVF cycle with a BFN. What a did get out of it was a really bad infection and a blood clot. I know for sure I will NOT do another IVF cycle, but I am leaning towards one more try at IUI. I had 2 IUI's in the past but successful with getting pg, but due to chromosome disorders, I mc'd both times. I wish I had a magic ball to give me some answers. As for my husband, he will do anything I want. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage, so he just wants what I want. WE both decided we would not adopt. So that is out of the question. If you made it this far, Thanks! Please let me know what your plans are.
Re: How old is to old?
It's a very personal decision and everyone has different thoughts and limits. Personally, I'm 38 and have been trying almost a year with no medical intervention. At this point I will go see an RE and try Clomid and maybe 3 IUI's. I don't know yet what I'll do if all that fails. I guess I would go as far as IVF #1 and maybe #2 depending on how the first one goes. There are so many variables. For one, all ART would be out of pocket for us since insurance covers nothing. That would be a deciding factor in how far we go. I'm holding out hope that I will get pg without IVF but you just never know. I'll probably be trying until I'm 42 or so. At that point, if nothing has worked we will probably start the adoption process. DH and I have not discussed adoption yet or anything more complex than taking Clomid, so I don't know yet. We still hope the stork will come soon and w/o too many complications.
I guess you do whatever feels right for you in your heart. GL with such a tough decision. IVF sometimes takes 2-3 rounds to work, but since you had such a bad reaction, I understand you don't want to do it again. Welcome to the board and keep up posted!
It's really tough trying to figure this out. I'll just give you my situation and tell you where we are.
I was 39, DH 37 when we got married. Ideally all this would have happened sooner, but we met late in life, so there was no chance before that.
We started trying for a baby 6 months after our wedding and I was 40. It took us 8 cycles to get pregnant, but it did happen unassisted. I had a complication-free, blissful pregnancy and we have a beautiful 15 month old boy.
We knew if we wanted another, we'd have to do it relatively quickly. AF came back when my son was 6 months old. We started trying on my third cycle after that, and got pregnant the VERY FIRST TIME. Unbelievable at age 42. Unfortunately, it was a molar pregnancy and I had to have a D&C at 9 weeks.
Molar pregnancies are rare, but dangerous. They can recur if you get pregnant again too soon and most doctors ask you to refrain from trying again for a minimum of 6 months, and in most cases, for 12 months. My OB told me that if I were 25, he'd advise me to wait a year before trying again. However, he knows how badly we want another baby, and told me that we could start trying again after 6 months once my beta levels were negative. We are clear to start trying in January. I will be 43 in April.
I have mixed emotions about this. There is a chance I could have another molar pregnancy, which scares the crap out of me. I'm also 2.5 years older than I was when I got PG the first time, so my odds are worse now. However, I feel called to have another child, and I am very healthy and had a wonderful pregnancy the first time, so we are going for it. I don't know what we'll do if it doesn't happen for us quickly or if we have another loss.
Your husband sounds like a wonderful man. That's how mine was when we tried to get pregnant the first time. Now that we have one child, I don't know how many hoops he'd be willing to jump through for another, but I'm hopeful that it won't come to that.
Good luck arriving at your decision. I hope you are able to do what your heart feels is right.
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Like sistrkate, I met my husband later in life. I'm 38 and he's 37. We haven't even been married for 5 months and have been TTC the last 4.
I'm planning on scheduling a consultation with my OB-Gyn in early January (that will be after cycle 6) to see what's up. MH takes Paxil and a recent report shows that SSRIs can cause male infertility and I'm just concerned about MY fertility due to my age.
If we cannot have a baby without medical help, it will be completely out of pocket. And to be honest, we're not in the best shape financially. So I don't know what we'll do. I'm willing to pay for Clomid and IUIs--but hopefully it won't come to that.
We'll try for a few years, but I don't see myself ACTIVELY trying past age 42. And I've come to terms with the idea of only having one child--I'll be thrilled with one. I don't need two.
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I am pregnant with my 1st & will deliver when I am 40. I don't want to have an only child so I will keep trying for another. Hopefully I won't have to go through any more IUI's or IVF's to get pregnant again. I'm thinking if it doesn't happen naturally within a year from having my 1st, I'll start again and maybe go right to IVF. I really wish I had enough eggs from my last cycle to freeze, but I think things happen for a reason. If you are healthy & energetic why not keep trying until you have what you want.
Lots of feedback on this one it looks like many have at least thought about this.
I've been trying since I was 36, am soon to be 38. How long will we try? Hard to say. We're moving ahead with IUI in January and we're committing to 3 cycles at this point. This will all be out of pocket for us and according to odds, if IUI is going to work for a 38 year old, it'll work within the frist 3 cycles from what I understand. So after 3 cycles, we'll regroup I guess.
To be honest though, I think that if after 4 years (when I'm 40) we're not blessed, then I think we'll accept that perhaps it's not meant to be, Ask me in 2 years though.
wow Hunny I could have written your message! My magic age is 40. I will be 39 in two months and DH is 40. I am sure if I was even 5 years younger I might feel differently but like several girls here, I married late.
We are going to keep trying but I am not even sure that we would try IVF. My company won't cover it and we can't afford it. We decided not to go the adoption or donor route. Also, we only want one child (although a multiple birth would be okay!!!). I agree with everyone, it is a personal decision but like my RE says, you have to come to terms with what is right for you and be realistic. And we have come to terms. If I never get pregnant, we will not have kids and we are fine with it. It just wasn't meant to be and thankfully we have each other (and a great family and dogs!!).
Obviously (as you know) this is a personal question that only you can answer, but I am 37 and we first started trying a year ago (had to take some time off because I took a new job and would not have leave if we got pg right away). This is our 9th cycle of trying and I just had initial bloodwork done (normal) if I don't get pg this month we will have to do the SA on DH (he's 34 the lucky bastard) and I will have an HSG.
I believe my insurance will pay for IVF to an extent but I'm not 100 percent sure. I'm also not sure I could put my body through that and DH is not really comfortable with the idea at this point. We also don't feel that adoption would be the right choice for us, although that could change. So our question is not so much how old but how far will we go.
It is comforting to read these posts though after realizing I was THE OLDEST poster on the GP board! I couldn't believe the number of 21 and 22 year olds there. Best of luck to them but I would have been miserable and a terrible mom at that age.
I am 39 and will be 40 in March. I have been asking this question to myself over and over the last few months. I have a beautiful daughter who will be 2 in January. I think if I am not pg by March, that will be it. We have been trying for over 7 months now. I am extremely frustrated at the moment. We got pg pretty east 2 times, the first ending in a missed m/c. I got pg with my daughter after the 2ond cycle of trying.
On a good note, my mom had me when she was 40...and that was back in the day!!!
I guess it will have to be your personal decision. Good luck to you and all ttc!!!
I think it is really an individual thing. Some peoples bodies are "old" at 35 and others are "young" at forty. It really just depends on each persons health and genetics.
I hope to try until at least 40. DH and haven't really talked about how far we are willing to go. He already has a child from his first marriage so he doesn't have the same drive for this goal as I do but he will go along with whatever I want up to the point of donor anything. He would never be down with that.
The thing with age limits is that if you reach them, with no success, you tend to change your mind.
I too married (the right person) later in life. We started TTC when I was 37. I had also set an age limit of 40. Then I turned 40 and we still had not had a baby.
We are unable to conceive naturally due to medical issues. So we have been going though IVF.
We've had 9 IVF cycles with only a chemical pregnancy so far. I am 41 now.
My BFF is PG with her first child at age 41. Another friend had her baby at 42. One of their friends had her 3rd at 48!
We may try one or two more cycles next year and then that's it for us.