- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
BLESSEDQDAY
member
Bottle mix up at daycare..need advice.
BLESSEDQDAY
member
in Working Moms
long read, sorry in advance.
Yesterday, I had gone to pick up my daughter from daycare. The caregivers gave the report rundown on what she ate, diaper changes, etc. My daughter is 15 months and drinks whole milk. We usually give them 2 Dr. Brown 8 oz bottles and other food that we normally eat for her daily food.
Well, I noticed that they fed both bottles, but when I went into the fridge to see if anything was there before I had to leave, i noticed 1 full bottle. That is when we figured out that the caregivers had given my daughter someone else's milk. I was furious when I heard this. I couldn't understand how this happened when my daughter's bottles are clearly labeled for any monkey to read. After trying to figure out the situation and trying to find out what happened from the director, they did their research and found out it was baby's formula and not breast milk that she had. Thank God. Apparently my daughter's bottle and the other baby's bottle are Dr. Brown bottles. The director apologized profusely of this situation, but it didn't help the situation at all. I eventually typed up an email and sent it to the director to get feeding procedures adjusted, changing the way they log things, and other rules adjusted for situations like this.
Well, today @ 11a,- I got email response from the director saying that I brought up great ideas and they were going to implement the new rules and make sure measures are taken by each and every teacher.
Fast forward to this afternoon @ 430p when I had to pick her up. I walked in and even after all the changes that they said was going to happen,IT HAPPENED AGAIN, BOTTLE MIX UP!
Two caregivers in the room signed off on it before my daughter got the wrong bottle (same other baby's bottle as yesterday). How the hell does that happen where 2 people screw up to give the right milk bottle to the right child? Once again, they groveled, apologized, and I was just disgusted on how this could happen again. The director offered me $ credits for full weeks' tuition for this situation, but it felt more of like shut-me-up $ so we wouldn't complain to the State Board for Daycares (sorry, I don't remember what it's called).
There is something else of this situation that really bothered me....one of the caregivers who signed off on the bottle was there when I picked up my child. When I confronted her on why is there another full bottle, she said, "Oh, it's not my fault, I didn't do it, the other teacher asked me to sign and I did." I said I needed to talk to someone in charge since all she did was try to blame it on the other caregiver. When the assistant director walked in, she questioned the teacher, to which the teacher said, "It's not my fault.".....then looks at me and says, "I don't even want to take care of your child, I quit." I couldn't believe what I just heard....my heart broke into a million pieces.
I think she will be let go.
My LO is supposed to transition into another room where my she is familiar with one of the teachers, which we adore because this teacher has taken care of our daughter since she was 3 months ol. Plus, we are also in the process of switching her to a sippy cup, so no more bottle mix-up mess.
What's your opinion in all this? What would you do if you were in my situation? What would you have told them? I am already starting to look at new daycares even though the conveience of having this daycare down the street from my work and having web access to see her anytime.
Would you take your child out?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bottle mix up at daycare..need advice.
I think you're drastically overreacting. It was just a bottle, and not even a bottle of something that would hurt her. If you had approached the director and teachers rationally, you probably would have gotten further. Nobody wants to deal with "that mom" so I don't blame them for giving you the brush-off. I would have to, in that situation.
If you're still that concerned that it's a problem, you need to politely ask the director to set up a meeting to discuss ways to make sure the problem doesn't happen again. Storming in and shrieking at people is never going to produce results.
And in the end--your kid is happy there and the bottle mix-up didn't hurt anyone. Take a chill pill and two steps back. Put on your big girl panties and handle it like an adult, not a temper-tantrum-throwing child.
I think you need to take the weekend to take a step back and reassess the situation next week. You used words like furious and confront, so it appears as though you were pretty angry when you got to DC. I wouldn't make a decision about changing DC until you cool off a bit.
FWIW, I would probably not switch DC. But I also don't think that BM will hurt my child.
I took the "thank god it wasn't BM" comment more to mean how awful it would have been for the pumping mom if her milk was given to another child. I would have been pissed as hell if someone had accidentally given my daughter WCM when I was pumping, and given my milk to another baby. Even if I had formula fed, I'd have been angry that my child had been given WCM when I hadn't approved it. OP, have you discussed the situation with the other parent by any chance? I don't know, I agree that you should take a few deep breaths and re-assess the situation, but I can understand why you're angry, it WAS a mistake that shouldn't have been made.
agree on reassessing the situation..
but - You don't think that BM will hurt your child? i'm talking about someone else's breast milk..
I personally wouldn't take bottle mix ups lightly...my LO drinks BM still and would not take two mix ups lightly.
So far the only mix up we have had is Diapers...which i called the director on because I just wanted to make sure it doesn't happen again. My LO has a sensitive toosh
I usually go home and cool off before I confront DC about issues that bother me
I don't think you are over reacting. I would be upset if my child was given someone else's bottle for many reasons: hygiene & sanitary would be the leading ones. As a mother of a child with food allergies, the mix up two days in a row would indicate to me that I cannot trust them to properly feed my child. Trust and feeding properly are two vital factors in being ok to drop off my child.
I think the director's initial response to implement change would have been great if they had not messed up again the next day. If they are making these kinds of mistakes that you can see I wonder what types of mistakes they are doing that aren't so noticeable. Messing up diaper cremes, teething toys....
go with your gut
No, I don't think someone else's BM would hurt my child. It's breastmilk. I've matched with other moms who needed milk through Human Milk for Human Babies several times.
I think without knowing their medical history I would not be ok with someone else's bm. Aren't donations to organizations like that screened? I know my girlfriend who donated had to give all kinds of medical paperwork before being accepted.
It's highly unlikey that someone else's breastmilk would hurt your child. Probably the opposite. Lots of people donate or sell their milk.
HM4HB is not. It simply matches women with donors. I've donated my milk to two women in my area. Neither one know me but they see me BF my own child when we meet up so I can give them the milk. One requested copies of my prenatal bloodwork, but that's about it. If you donate to a NICU or a hospital, it's much different because they have to cover their butts.
If my LO got someone else's BM while at DC, I might ask the DC to question the mom about her diet, alcohol use, etc. if I was worried. I would actually be more annoyed if they gave my baby formula to be quite honest.
As someone who exclusively bmed for 15 months I would be upset if my ds got formula too.( but that is more based on having to discard my precious gold-like bm that they did not use and all of the crazy pressure I put on myself to only give him bm until he weaned) But really, I would be upset if they failed to feed him what I provide. Especially now that he is older and has severe allergies. Your "mistake" could cause my son some serious medical issues.
I don't take my kids to a daycare so I'm not quite sure how I would react, but I think I would be slightly upset but not as angry as you sounded. Though it would piss me off more that they messed up AGAIN after being told to be more careful.
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
I would be greatly concerned. My DS can only drink soy, and if God forbid, had a bottle mixup, it would be horrendous to say the least. Granted, my Daycare makes the bottles with the formula I provide, so I don't see how there could be a mixup.
These are definite issues that I would not be comfortable with, but not enough to pull my child out of that facility.
What about the other baby who was given whole milk instead of formula? If I were that parent, I would be very upset.
OP. I think you're overreacting. Just relax and let it go for the weekend. Take the 1 week tuition money. Accept their apology and tell them it better not happen again.
As for the BM comment, I wouldn't be psyched about my child getting someone else's BM either. Sorry.
I would have been about as angry as you, but that's largely b/c my DS has a milk protein allergy that was very severe at that age. Had he been given the BM of someone who consumed cow's milk, he would have had a bad allergic reaction. WCM or milk based formula would've ended in an epi pen and trip to the hospital.
I suppose even if my child didn't have allergies I would still worry about their inability to keep bottles or children straight. And the fact that it happened twice is ridiculous. I don't know ho much I would scold the teachers directly, but I'd be furious with the director. And I would consider pulling my child, but I fully admit to having very limited experience with DCs.
This happened at my DC when DS was 6 or 7 months old. The teacher (not the usual teacher) fed my friend's DD my BM. I had stopped BFing at 5 months and we had no idea this last bag of BM even existed. I was a little sad DS missed out on it, but that's it. i called the other mom and explained all the meds and health situation I had. She's also a doc so she was fine with it. I think the DC ended up firing the teacher.
I'd be worried if DS had gotten someone else's BM until I could confirm their health and medication histories. Women with hepatitis and HIV aren't supposed to BF, but they do. They could pass the disease to the BFing child. And there are lots of meds that are excreted in BM. Some are harmful to baby. So there's definite cause for concern-- like the poster with milk allergic child. That's a huge concern.
I'm surprised no one asked if the bottles were labeled. That was my first question and I don't recall seeing it in the OP. This should be a given, but maybe not. At my DC BM, formula, bottles, food, sippies, diapers, wipes, etc. all had to be labeled.
If I had been exclusively BFing, I doubt I would have been upset DS had gotten formula unless it was a formulation that would have harmed him. At least he got fed!
All that being said, the OP is probably overreacting. It sounds like the director went out of his/her way to be accomodating. It's a mistake. People make mistakes. Sometimes more than once. It sucks when it happens to you, but oh well. Live and let live. Que sera, sera.
This. You used the word furious to describe the first screw-up. I'd love to read the text of the 1st email you sent-I bet it was delightful.
I agree. Getting worked up over what amounts to a pretty benign mistake to the point that one of the care providers quits on the spot under the pressure of your confrontation tells the tale of you as much as them.
I'd prepare myself for walking papers.
1. BM won't hurt your child but I would feel bad for a mom that pumped BM for their child and that child didn't get it. I am not sure how your D/C works but all sippy cups and bottles are empty and filled for meals/as needed so I don't get how if your child gets milk in a bottle that it would be confused with a child that has the same bottle but is getting formula.
2. Breathe, it was two mistakes in a day or two, not enough time to make the changes needed. Clearly.
I think some of the language you are using 'any monkey' or confront etc. sounds inflammatory and isn't needed in this situation.
You talked to the director and the teachers. They are aware. Why the teacher wanted to quit in front of you, I don't get it but overall give it the weekend but I'd say give them another chance.
I would be pissed if there was a bottle mix-up at DC, just on principle. In this one case it happened to be pretty benign, but it could have been worse, as PPs have stated. It just makes me wonder how someone can grab a bottle and not even check the name on it. Or check the name, and sign off on it, and have someone else sign off, and have it still be wrong. I mean seriously, WTF?? If I did something like that at MY job, I'd be fired.
I do agree with the others though, that perhaps you were overly confrontational about talking with staff. And for someone to say they don't want to watch your kid and are going to quit would be a totally crazy overreaction if things indeed happened as straightforwardly and relatively calmly as you say. I just can't imagine why someone would say something so awful and quit without a d-mn good reason.
I had a terrible daycare that seemed perfectly fine since ds was happy. Find a new place for 2 reasons:
1. Who knows what's going on if this is what you see.
2. If you are "that mom" you could have a fresh start somewhere else.
I agree with this. Plus, and obviously I'm the minority on this, I think it's just gross.
I am surprised at how many mothers wouldn't be upset about this. I understand in the grand scheme of things, the LO getting some formula isn't going to hurt him and mistakes happen but to happen twice! And then to be told by the teacher that they don't even want to care for your child. How hurtful!
This same scenario happened to me. When DD was first starting DC at about 3.5 months old, a new hire came on and she always rubbed me the wrong way. She just didn't seem to fit the job & my gut feelings turned out to be right. She was careless and frequently tried starting drama amongst the other employees of the DC. And she's not a teenager...she's probably in her late 40's.
Anyway, she fed my DD the wrong bottle one time. She was mistaking my DD for another little girl. She was corrected but she never apologized to me and that bothered me. I was extremely upset because I want to trust that whoever I leave my child with first knows who they are (only 4 babies in her class) and second, it is important to me for the employees to take responsibility for their actions when dealing with other people's children. Then a couple of months later, this same woman wrote down on her sheet that she fed my DD but didn't. She just skipped feeding her alltogether and this was a huge problem for me. I want to feel good about leaving my DD during the day with people that I can trust. Besides this woman, I love the DC overall so I didn't want to pull her. Turns out that she is nutso and ended up walking out on the place leaving the main teacher all alone in the middle of the morning. Solved the problem though & I've never had issues since.
I'm sorry this happened. It does sound like they care and want you to be happy with them. I definitely wouldn't be mean to them but there is also no reason to be passive aggressive about the situation. They know you are upset and hopefully rectify the situation. I, however, wouldn't love the idea of the one teacher caring for my child after they expressed their lack of desire to do so. Go with your gut!
Here's my two cents: I would be sick to my stomach if my child was given someone's breastmilk. You have no idea about what that mother eats, drinks, her health, etc. Breastmilk is a bodily fluid and in my opinion is like sharing blood. Going to a milk bank and getting a donation is totally different than getting it from some random woman's boob.
I would be thankful it was formula and do everything in your power to make sure it doesn't happen again. I wouldn't be rude or mean about it though. I'd also start to think about ditching the bottle. Your DD is 15 months anyway and bottles should be dropped by 18 months.
I must be in the minority here. After the second time I would have pulled my child out and reported them to the state board. I think you did NOTHING wrong. As a BF mother who has donated thousands of oz of milk I would have been furious if my child drank a bottle allotted for another child. I don't care if it is BM, Cow?s Milk or formula.
I would be more relieved if it was not BM (I would not have to worry about the disease factor). But I would still be mad. It COULD have been BM and I have no idea about cleanliness of the other child?s parents (bottles).
IMO when I give away BM I don't care with the receiver does with it but there is no way in hell my child would ever have a drop of donated milk.
I will land in the minority of posters as well because I would have been upset. I would not want my child having another random woman's BM. Indeed, it CAN be harmful despite what so many others on here are saying because of medications, alcohol, diseases, etc. Even if it's not BM, it's still bottles that someone else washed. You just don't know.
Perhaps you were too angry the first time it happened. I think a calm discussion would have sufficed because it sounds like your director is one who will listen and make changes. However, for it to happen again the very next day is inexcusable. A PP said that it takes time to implement changes and I completely agree. However, the changes here are intended to prevent feeding mix-ups but the underlying rule did not change -- feed the bottle to the right baby.
While we did not have these specific issues with our first DC we had others. We were very patient and spoke calmly and rationally with the teachers and eventually the director when the teachers failed to make changes over a period of a few weeks. The teachers became very defensive and one stopped talking to us altogether, though we never mentioned her by name. After a few months of this runaround we left for another DC and have been there since. We were patient and tried to be reasonable though my knee-jerk reaction was to withdraw DS immediately. But, I'll repeat what others have said... Go with your gut.
Random women donate milk to each other all the time, and not always through a milk bank. I can understand that it may not be for everyone, but I can bet there are women on here who have fed their baby with donated BM. I've donated several times on Human Milk for Human Babies. It's very rare to have a baby without prenatal screening, so the odds of a mother passing disease in BM are quite small, especially if the mother is bothering to pump at work and provide BM for her baby when she is away. People who are willing to make the necessary sacrifices to BM long-term are most likely taking good care of themselves, they are in fact feeding it to their own baby. I'm not tying to change people's feelings about it, just trying to illustrate that even if it had been BM, everything would probably be fine.
1, How do you think donated milk is collected, if not by boob?
2. You would decline a blood transfusion then?
Are you serious?! This is not even in the same ballpark. Blood in a blood bank is screened for diseaeses or anything that maybe harmful. BM from some random child in my sons classroom is not screened for anything. Who knows if she is a smoker, alcoholic, poor eater or has some something that can be spread in her brestmilk to my child.