Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Marsee
member
Re: S/O AP-Style Discipline
I separate it into 'biggies' and 'smallies' .... 'biggies' are harm herself or others and property, 'smallies' are just about everything else. I choose to dicipline for the 'biggies' and laugh or ignore the smallies.
I am a big believer in natural consequences. They have taught my daughter many, many things!
When it comes to the dog she isn't allowed to play with him if she can't be nice, taking a toy away would have no affect on my daughter.... she could care less about toys. Timeouts work great but only if I use them sparingly! (Like no more than 1 a day or it looses its luster)
I really agree with setting kids up for success, that mean making there life easier so you don't have to tell them 'no' all the time. This is the biggest helper for us.
As for having a dog around she learned quickly that she must treat him well or he leaves the area. I always model it showing her how to pet the dog nice.... I say things like "Pet his back, he likes that" when she does something I like I make it a big deal (before she turned 2, after 2 you don't need to have overzealous praise) I always said "Yes, Yes, Yes, I loooove it!!!" I would clap my hands and just act giddy.
I suppose this explains it somewhat, discipline is so individual, my dd responds well to what I said so I continue to use it. If she didn't I would find other ways to help her learn.
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
But what does a toy have to do with the dog? Nothing. If a child can't play nicely with the dog, they get separated. That's the natural consequence. I'm a big fan of things making sense to my kid - the consequence needs to be linked to the "crime", unless it is a BIG deal (actual physical danger or permanently damaging something).
Fortunately, we have a cat, and I've been fine with DS getting a few scratches. He has learned quickly how to be nice to the kitty.
We have also set up about half the house as a baby-friendly zone. There are very few things he can get to that he's not allowed, which means I don't spend all day following him around and saying no.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
All of this exactly, except replace cat with rabbit
See, you can tell I'm not to the discipline stage yet
. I was just trying to give an example and apparently my example didn't even make sense!
I guess I interpreted the below post wrong. I understood it meant that AP discourages natural consequences. I think kids should understand that actions (good or bad) lead to consequences (good or bad).
Like pp said though - natural and/or logical consequences are good. Punishment doesn't really work. It doesn't work on adults. Have you ever got a speeding ticket? Did you quit speeding for life? Punishment tends to lead to trying not to get caught (more deviousness, lying), not good behavior.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
This is such a great way to look at it.
Currently going through our second deployment. Can't wait for Zoe to meet her daddy!
AP is very big on natural consequences. But, parents creating an enviornment where age-appropriate, socially acceptable freedom can happen is a preventative measure to even needing to allow the natural consquence.
For example, my son touches the hot stove, his fingers get singed=natural consquence. But, it would be better to create the "yes enviornment" and put him in, say, the Learning Tower before I open the stove so he can see what I am doing but is not able to touch. If I let him stay on the floor and then just say, "No, hot, No, don't touch," I am not really helping either one of us. With time, optimally he will learn that stoves are hot and he should stay away through safe, positive experienced rather than injury or scolding/negative talk. That said, if he comes barreling in from another room unexpectedly right when I open the stove, I very well may yell, "Stop! Danger. No" so forcefully that he cries rather than let him touch and get hurt. But, that is the exception not the rule, for us at least. We are in no way permissive parents. We actually have very high standards even though he is just a little guy, but we guide him through those standards creatively and with positive words and a gentle spirit and minimizing the things we need to say, "no" to by prevention. thinking ahead, etc.
More Green For Less Green
Thanks, everybody. This stuff really makes sense now. I need to start reading some positive discipline books sooner rather than later.