Reaction at work to #2 if close to #1

st.augbride · April 2012

Ds is almost 16 months and we are thinking about TTC for #2. I am nervous about the reaction at work though b/c ds has been medically complicated and I still have lots of therapy/doc appts for him. If you had #2 close to #1, how was the reaction at work?

cutelilme1210 · April 2012

DD was 20 months old when we found out that we were pregnant with #2. We started trying when she was 15 months old. I think the 2-3 year age gap is pretty common.

sheryn2 · April 2012

IMHO 2?-3 yr separation is norm, less than 24 months is "close", so 24-30 months seems just a wee close - IMHO.

I had lots of medical appts prior to my pg, less during pg but some sickness, and have been fortunate enough to have very few absenses afterwards. The 1st time around my boss kept his concerns to himself, although he did mention recently that my pg went a lot better than he anticipated. Apparently I didn't seem as moody at work, but my DH assures me I was at home.

I suspect that my boss will keep his concerns to himself the 2nd time around also (if I am so lucky). I am also considering a 24-30 month separation and wonder if I am up to it and figure I'll work things out at work one way or another.

GL!

Pesky · April 2012

nothing of consequence. People shrugged and weren't surprised as a 2 yr age gap is not unusual and somewhat expected considering I am an older mom. I still did all my work, even when at home on modified bed rest, so it wasn't really an issue.

AsOctoberFalls · April 2012

I understand where you're coming from. I've had to take off a ton of time for DS's doctor appointments, as well, so I'm definitely nervous about going for #2. But, this is your life. If your work values you, then they will make every effort to make this transition with you!

I was in my boss's office the other day after I'd gotten the results of another medical test that DS failed, which means more appointments and more time off. (DS has had at least 15 doctor's appointments this year, plus I've had to leave work when daycare has called to have me pick him up 3 or 4 times as well). I was expressing to my boss how I'm REALLY concerned for my job.

Do you know what he told me? He said, "I'm concerned, too. I'm concerned that you will quit because of all the time you've had to take off for your son's appointments. We're on opposite ends of the spectrum. You're afraid we will let you go because you're out of the office too much. I'm afraid you will quit because you need so much time off and you can't handle working. Your fear is completely misplaced. You would do more part-time than a lot of people do full-time." He then proceeded to tell me he was working on getting me more vacation time AND more money because he really wants me to stay. (I have no intention of quitting, at all).

So, my point is, make yourself invaluable. Work really hard when you're there, show that you're a team player and that you care about your job... the rest will fall into place. If it doesn't, then perhaps your employer doesn't deserve you anyway!

maria526 · April 2012

We got pregnant with LO#2 when DS was 10mo old. I told work a little after DS's first birthday around 12 weeks. My boss and co-workers have been pretty supportive since I'm happy and this is what I wanted. They're all just shocked since I was "just" pregnant and can't fathom anyone wanting 2U2. I get a lot of- "Was this one planned?!?!"

DS is perfectly healthy but I have had two rough pregnancies as far as my health... so I am always taking time off a lot of time during the pregnancies.

As long as they see that you're happy and still committed to them when you are there- things should be fine! Good luck when you start TTC!

aglenn · April 2012

Pesky:
nothing of consequence. People shrugged and weren't surprised as a 2 yr age gap is not unusual and somewhat expected considering I am an older mom. I still did all my work, even when at home on modified bed rest, so it wasn't really an issue.

This. The only people who expressed any surprise were the ones I've complained to about DD's sleep (didn't STTN until age 2). Some of them were impressed that I'd go for another round.

futuremrsmcnichols · April 2012

I understand where you are coming from. We are the opposite, however. DD#2 has some medical issues that have landed us in weekly therapies, many doctor/ specialist appointments, surgery, etc.

I got pregnany when DD#1 was 12 months. Most everyone's reaction was 'Wow I feel like you were just pregnant' type of statements, which in a sense I was, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

My boss was/ has been very supportive of me thus far. I had some concerns at the end of my pregnancy (borderline IUGR and low fluid levels) that required me to be placed on light duty. He accommodated my light duty request and reduced my hours. He gave me an extra 2 weeks of maternitly leave, and has been good about letting me switch days/ hours if we have an important appointment on a certain day.

I wouldn't be too concerned about work. If you have been there more than a year and haven't taken FMLA within the last 12 months, then you are good. If you want to, you could always shorten your maternity leave a bit so that you have extra FMLA hours to use for your DS if needed. My boss offered me this scenario, but I have plenty of vacation/ ill time accrued and can use that instead of FMLA if needed.

katiegal · April 2012

Ehhh, maybe it is just me but I since becoming a mother myself I pretty much mind my own business. We had a co-worker get pregnant again when her first was 5 or 6 months and everyone (including our supervisor) had some sort of snarky comment to make behind her back but I honestly was just happy for her. It is none of my business (or anyone else's) if someone is trying or not and how close it happens. Best of luck to you!

Mr.&MrsS · April 2012

My DS1 was 16 months old when my second was born, so he wasnt even a year old yet when I had to tell my boss. I had only been back to work for about 5 months when I was telling people I was pregnant again.

I dont know what people said behind my back, but to my face they were supportive. My boss was happy for me, and no one really said anything negative. (Well except the one co worker that hates kids and when she looked at me and said, "You are pregnant again?!?!" Oh no, that isnt good.")

I honestly wouldnt let any co workers effect your family planning. Good luck!

monica92603 · April 2012

My situation is different. I'm pg w/ #2 but this is my (God willing) third full term pregnancy in 4 years. I'm getting comments trickling down from the higher ups that they are NOT pleased at all. Just b/c I want a family I think it's being perceived as I'm not committed to my job. That's disappointing.

katie4253 · April 2012

Your kiddos don't seem *that* close to me. I think 2-3 years is pretty common.

itsmevkb · April 2012

This is my sixth pregnancy in as many years so I've heard some whispering here and there but for the most part my bosses aren't concerned. I do work from home part-time during my maternity leaves and I'm not often off for child issues so I'm sure that helps as well. I am lucky to have pretty healthy children thus far.

You can't plan your family based on what your co-workers are going to think so just move forward with the timing that is best for your family.

skyejo · April 2012

I'll have around a 24 month age gap between #1 and #2. To my face everyone is supportive but I'll bet that there are some less than supportive comments going on behind my back since both of my mat leaves are at our busiest time of year.

I wanted a two year age gap between DD and #2 so that's what we did

jlw2505 · April 2012

My girls are 21 months apart and it was not an issue. Like you, DD#1 had a lot of medical issues and doc appointments for the 1st 20 months but it was never an issue. In my office, there are a few others that had kids closer together (under 2 yearts) around the same time.

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