Intro and really needing some advice/encouragement (long)

Pinkpeppers · April 2012

I appoligize now for the wall of text to follow as this iPad is not paragraph spacing friendly. Hi all I'm fairly new on the bump and have been lurking around here a bit lately. My husband and I have a son named Luke who's 9 months now and a lot of our parenting style seems to be considered AP. So here I am hoping some of you ladies might have some experience with or can relate to my situation. Can anyone share their story or some advice regarding transitioning into crib for naps? With the exception of occasional car naps Luke has pretty much always been held for naps. I sit in our living room recliner and nurse him to sleep for a morning and afternoon nap. Usually 2-3 hours in the morning, and around an hour in the late afternoon. He also comfort nurses through most of his sleep. I love holding him for naps and we bedshare and nurse through the night which I would like to continue. Problem is, now I have to go back to work in July so he'll be at daycare during the week. Originally i was going to stay home the first few years, but due to unforseen financial reasons I no longer have that option. I really worry about the transition to daycare for him and I'm thinking I need to get him napping alone soon or he'll be a mess once he's in daycare full-time. Ever since he was born he's been a very light sleeper and weve never once been able to put him down awake. It's always nursing or rocking/singing to sleep. If I could just continue staying at home this would be a non issue but now I'm panicking and feeling like I've let my son down because I've created a routine I can't maintain now. I just have so many mixed emotions about having to go back to work and send him to daycare. To say that I'm feeling very stressed and heartbroken about it would be an understatement. I know there's lots of social benefits to daycare and most babies do very well there but I still can't help feeling horrible about it. Has anyone been through a similar situation/transition? Any advice on daycare or switching to crib napping? I'm just an emotional mess about this and feel like I'm abandoning him. Am I'm just overreacting and over thing all of this? And again I'm sorry this post is so long and erratic. If you managed to make it through my giant paragraph (thanks ipad) kudos to you.

RandiWalsh · April 2012

Well I made it through. HaHa. Mine will be long too im sure. It's such a normal concern. I held LO for a couple months. I wanted to establish that bond. You want them to feel safe with your touch and smell. Unfortunately life happens. My husband works 10-10 tue-sat. I work 2 days a week mostly to come in contact with the ouside world. So houshold, raising a 6yr old and all they come with lol, our 8mo old, errands etc. doesn't allow for nice quiet baby holding naps for me either. I think you need to breathe. You have the spring and summer to try methods of training. Maybe he will surprise you. I thought theres no way he can sleep without mommy. But they can. It's a part of their independence. His sheets smell like you, his clothes smell like you. He will have that security with him. I found by accident on some things. If your in the middle of a shower and they wake up crying and you cant get to them they can fall back to sleep on their own. I dont put him down awake most of the time. There have been times when hes inconsolable and needs to just be left alone and not handled. So i put him down and sit in his room where he cant see me and wait. He's in arms reach if you think you have to pick him up. Most of the time while i was sleep/nap training I didn't stress. When hes tired he'll sleep. I feed him and hold him to sleep mostly and put him in his crib on his belly. (now that he's old enough/ I did 'back to sleep' until he could fully roll and sit) he didnt stay asleep for long the first couple weeks but i didnt pick him up. I pat his butt let him know i was there and he'd fall back to sleep. after a while he didnt need that anymore and just stayed asleep. I thought mine was a light sleeper too but in fact he was just not used to not being swaddled. Don't feel like you are abandoning him. Also don't feel bad when everything works out and you see that he can nap in his crib. It's bittersweet i think. You seem like a mom that gives him everything he needs.

mommyton&e · April 2012

I only stayed home 13 weeks before I went back to work. However, I had very similar issues. He transitioned fine to daycare and napped in his crib (cot as he has gotten older). The daycare workers were very patient and willing to work with him and get him into his new routine. While at home up until January, I always had to hold him to get him to nap. Talk to your daycare provider about your concerns. They put my mind mostly at ease about the transition. I think they are used to it.

rachelle2824 · April 2012

Wow, you and I are in very similar situations! I read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and "The No Cry Nap SOlution" and it has really done wonders. I agree with pp, you will be surprised at what your LO is capable of. I always tend to think every transition will be a nightmare and they have gone easier than expected following these books. The idea is setting up a routine, making sequences of events familiar for the baby so they "know" what they are supposed to do, taking it slow, listening to babies cries, figure out what they want/need and doing things when they are ready. It is very AP friendly and had lots of great suggestions. I went from only being able to swing sleep for naps with my girl to her being able to sleep in a PnP for naps and even some time at night. In the evenings she needed to nurse and be held all.evening.long. until recently when she has transitioned to being able to sleep in her PnP for a while before getting in to bed with me. My son went from having to be rocked in a RnP to sleeping in his crib for all his sleep. And both have gone from having to nurse to sleep to being able to put themselves to sleep.

But it's a work in progress and my little girl still sleeps with me and comfort nurses most of the night. But one thing I have learned: they will adjust waaaaay better than we parents think they will and they will do things when they are ready when given the opportunity.

See...mine was long too GL!

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