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Breastfeeding
I feel like a failure
My baby is only 9 days old and I was sure I wanted to ONLY breastfeed until the 6 month marker and then continue to breastfeed with solids for another 6 months...
But already I'm not sure if I can do it, and I feel selfish and exhausted. I THINK I'm producing enough milk and I know I'm feeding DS enough, but it's just so much to handle. DS eats for an hour every time he eats. I've been feeding him every 3 hours but today I thought maybe he wouldn't eat for SO long if I fed him more often. Today I've fed him every hour and a half and he STILL eats for an hour each time!
He has enough dirty and wet diapers a day but I'm not sure if he's gaining weight like he should be. I've weighed him today and yesterday on our scale at home and it says he weighs only 8 pounds when he was 8 pounds 12 ounces at birth... Maybe it's our scale? I know it's fairly accurate but it isn't a doctor office scale.
I've been thinking that maybe my milk isn't cutting it for him and I should just have him eat 2 or 3 bottles of formula a day maximum. I don't think it would hurt him any but it's making me miserable. And I'm already so sleep deprived that at night it's hard for me to hold him long enough to feed...
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Re: I feel like a failure
Take a deep breath.
If he has enough dirty diapers, he is getting enough. Your bathroom scale is not an accurate measure of weight gain. Babies lose weight after birth and then gain it back. How much did he weight when you left the hospital? If you start giving formula now, you WILL mess with your supply and it might lead to a downward spiral. This early on, it's very important to feed on demand and not give formula. Your body will make the milk that your LO one needs. It's supply and demand.
The first couple of months are tough. Most likely, your LO is comfort nursing. If you can't hear him swallowing, he is just sucking for comfort and using you as a paci. That's why the nursing sessions are lasting so long. Eating every hour and a half, 2, or 3 hours is all normal. It's best just to feed on demand- it will help you with your supply.
Do you have a support system? Is you DH/SO supportive? A mom or LC? You need to find a support system if possible. Keep doing what you are doing- feed on demand and make sure he has enough dirty and wet diapers. It will get easier.
My LO is 11 days old. I'm literally sitting here in bed with no top on because my nips hurt so bad. I could cry, thinking of the night I have ahead of me. I will tell you this though, The pediatrician weighed LO last Friday then had me bring him back today (free of charge) to make sure he is gaining. He had gained 14oz. this week. My LO eats for 1 hr every 3 hrs also. So call your ped and see if fhey'll weigh him for you. Since mine had gained so much, they said I can quit waking him to feed so hopefully tonight I'll get a bit more sleep.
You are absolutely not a failure. Babies eat a lot, and they eat frequently. Some a fast eaters and some like to graze. If you have a lactation consultant around, make an appointment pronto. Also look for a local breastfeeding support group. At my bf group, the lc that runs it does transfer weights (weighing baby before and after eating) so we can really see how much they're actually taking in. It can be a huge relief. But like pp said, there's poop and pee, and that means your little one is getting enough food. The lc will put you at ease, though.
It gets easier, I promise.
Thank you, you're response means a lot to me (:
I think I'm getting post-partum depression already. I have my mom but she isn't the most helpful and neither is my SO. He doesn't seem to want to grow-up even now that LO is here )':
It is really difficult those first few weeks. I don't think anyone can prepare you for how difficult it is, so step back, take a breath and pat yourself on the back for doing so well so far!
Now, I know it is tempting, but do not offer formula. That will do nothing but negatively impact your supply. It is a downward spiral once you get started. It is totally normal for him to be eating so often, and in the first few weeks babies eat a lot because they cannot eat a lot at one feed. He may also be comfort nursing, so listen for him swallowing. If he is sucking and not swallowing, he's using you as a paci - also totally normal.
One fact that helped me get through those early days of BFing and worrying about supply is that only about 3% of women actually have low supply, but about 97% of women think they do. GL! You can do it!
ETA: have you tried side lying nursing? There are videos of how to do it on breastfeeding.com. It is awesome, especially when you are so tired you don't think you can hold the baby another second. I promise, doing it successfully will change your nursing relationship for the better.
April 2011: Metformin 1500mg + Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel + Prometrium = BFP!
Beta #1 at 14DPO: 197 Beta #2 at 18DPO: 1296
At 40w6d, our Team Green surprise came by unplanned C-section and changed our lives forever!
Ditto all of this. It will get better, hang in there!
Breastfeeding is hard!
First, I think eating that frequently is pretty normal for such a little guy. What he's doing is establishing your milk supply. They start to stretch out over time. We were feeding for like 30-45 minutes at first and I was getting like 3 hours of sleep a day. Now we're at 10 minutes a feeding and I get like 7 hours of sleep. So, the sleep deprivation gets better, I promise! You need to feed him at least 7 times a day right now to keep your supply (or pump) if that's what you want to do.
I have a lot of friends that formula feed and I know it's a hard transition to make but it seems to have worked out for them. Just keep in mind he's still going to eat non stop but you'll just have the extra hassle of warming up and washing bottles:)
I took DS in to the dr.'s office about 1x a week to weigh him (no appointment necessary), because I was convinced I was starving him. I think this is a normal fear. I of course wasn't.
No one ever prepares you for how hard BF will be after you go through pregnancy and labor! You are definitely not a failure! This is the most exhausting part- the part you are living right now! Trust me, it gets so much better as they get older. I had a lot of problems early on trying to get DD to latch, tongue-tie, and other issues; and by 6 weeks we had completely transformed our BFing relationship and it became so easy!
Definitely get a support system- ditto all the suggestions by PP- and use this forum for advice/suggestions. You can do it!
Like the others said, get your guy weighed at the doctor's office. Also, my pedi says to come in without an appointment if I just want to get a weighing no copay or anything so maybe your's might do the same for you.
And then if you guy is back at birth weight and past 2 weeks I would only feed him when he asks for it. I know you may want to set up a consistent schedule but he may just want to go 3-4 hours between feeds. They do get efficient as the become more awake and more coordinated.
Also like other said if you can't see good jaw movement and isn't making swallowing noises I would try to unlatch him and let him suck on your pinky or a paci if he fusses. If he keeps fussing then let him go back to the breast.
I know people don't recommend it but I let DS suck on the paci if he stopped sucking and was just hanging on for comfort. My nips were too messed up to let him stay on. And even if they weren't I needed my rest to take care of him so I would still give it to him.