STTN - am I delaying it?

lorahbora · April 2012

Hey everyone - I don't know if I'm doing something wrong here, so your input is appreciated! I EBF on demand.

My DD is just shy of 12 weeks old, and she's 15lbs. She nurses every 2 hours during the day, and usually every 3 hours during the night. The thing is, she's given me stints here and there of longer sleeps, upwards of 7 hours some nights.This leads me to believe that she can sleep longer, she just isn't, and I'm wondering if I'm "enabling" her for lack of a better word. I've always been told to simply feed on demand, so when I pick her up in the middle of the night and she immediately turns her head with an open mouth, I figure she wants to eat and I nurse her. Her middle of the night nursings are often as short as 5 minutes, and she'll always only nurse on one side, which supports my idea that she just needs to be soothed back to sleep. However, I can tell from how my boob feels after that she's eating quite a bit so maybe it's just shorter because I have more supply due to the longer times between feedings. During the day, her average is 7-10 minutes per side and she'll eat on both sides.

I've also tried giving her a pacifier without picking her up, and she'll usually conk right back out, but only for an hour, and then she'll wake back up again. After 2-3 times, she'll start spitting out the pacifier right away and then I'll nurse her. In the end, if I nurse her right away she'll eat 2-3 times per night, and if I do the pacifier delay method, she'll nurse 1-2 times per night but wake up a ton more.

I'll admit I don't pick her up and try to rock her/soothe her because that's only lead to crying and then eventually nursing her in the past, and if I can avoid crying at 3am I will.

So, those of you who have had this situation or have babies who STTN, should I be doing more on my end to help her sleep for longer durations? Or should I continue to nurse her right away since she's asking me to? Thanks in advance!

Huahine · April 2012

My baby doesn't STTN, so I'm no help there. But I did read that milk has a higher fat content at night, so it doesn't take them as long to feel satiated, which may be why her nighttime sessions are so short.

Jessiree · April 2012

I'm in the same situation. Some night C sleeps 7 - 8 hours, some she is up 3 or 4 times to eat briefly and then she's back down. I've noticed in the past few weeks, the longer stretches are getting longer and more frequent. I figure it this way: some days we are hungrier than others, and I think babies are no different. Some nights she fills her belly well and doesn't get hungry and others she doesnt.

You can try offering a paci, but at this age, I think they are truly waking from hunger, and like you, I don't want to do anything in the middle of the night that turns into crying. I take the long stretches as encouragement that she'll sleep through the night at some point!

PsyDr04 · April 2012

I'm guilty of nursing in the middle of the night, too, but for a different reason. DS is very gassy and will often sleep 3-4 hours after he goes down for the night but inevitably (and for some strange reason usually around 1 am), he starts grunting, which means he's trying to pass gas. I haven't been able to tolerate letting him grunt and try to pass it on his own for more than a minute or two so I usually go in there and bicycle his legs. Sometimes he goes back to sleep, but other times the only thing that makes me feel better is to eat. I nurse him 1-2 times in the middle of the night.

Ashley&Scott · April 2012

At this age you should still be feeding on demand. (I do too, DS wakes to feed 1-2 times per night)

You're doing great, keep it up!

lorahbora · April 2012

Thanks everyone for your answers/support!

Btw, Ashley&Scott, my LO has that same owl hat in different colors

eklanger · April 2012

If she is waking up, just keep doing what you are doing, but I am curious how long you wait before picking her up.

LO sleeps in the PnP right next to me and when I hear her moving, kicking grunting, I just lay still and listen to her to figure out if she is really waking up or just fidgeting and settling back down. Sometimes she fidgets for 5 minutes or so, but if I look, she still has her eyes closed so I just leave her alone until I know she is really up and most of the time this isn't the case.

KitKat83 · April 2012

We have the same thing going on... sleeps 7-8 hours for a week or two, then up every 3 hours for the next week. I've chalked it up to growth spurts. I actually have an app on my phone called "Baby Connect" I know its ridiculous, but it has a timer that lets you record and chart how much time he spends nursing, and how much time on each side. It also lets you record his height, weight, head circumference and a whole lot of other medical information. Its a really cool app and I gave it 5 stars (it was $4.99 I think for the full one) When I look at the graph over the past 2 months, you can see the hills and dips and how they correlate with his weight gain and growth.

My apologies for being such a nerd haha!

Thinkerbelle80 · April 2012

Honestly, it sounds like you need to keep doing what you're doing. You've already tried rocking and soothing and pacifier and since that makes you get LESS sleep, it doesn't really make sense to continue doing it. YOu need to do what you've found works for you. Most cry it out books advocate not starting until the baby as at least four or five months old. So, I wouldn't try that method till a little later on down the road.

AMbaby · April 2012

Baby Adela has been STTN since she was 6 weeks old (I know it's a huge gift) but if she did wake up during the night I would definitely BF. I EBF her and it's on demand since she's still so young. I just make sure to top off the BF'ing with some breast milk in a bottle each night right before she goes down at 10 PM and I do the same thing when she wakes around 7:30 AM to make sure she's getting PLENTY of milk. During the day we just feed her whenever she wants it.

anhg80 · April 2012

eklanger:
If she is waking up, just keep doing what you are doing, but I am curious how long you wait before picking her up.
LO sleeps in the PnP right next to me and when I hear her moving, kicking grunting, I just lay still and listen to her to figure out if she is really waking up or just fidgeting and settling back down. Sometimes she fidgets for 5 minutes or so, but if I look, she still has her eyes closed so I just leave her alone until I know she is really up and most of the time this isn't the case.

I found this to happen with Lena, too. When I hear her now, I wait to see if she gets louder/opens her eyes before feeding her. She usually sleeps from 8:30/9:00 to between 4 or 5. Then she sleeps for another hour or two before waking up for real. We do all demand feeding, too... as much as I would love to be able to schedule her days a little more!

lorahbora · April 2012

anhg80:
eklanger:
If she is waking up, just keep doing what you are doing, but I am curious how long you wait before picking her up.
LO sleeps in the PnP right next to me and when I hear her moving, kicking grunting, I just lay still and listen to her to figure out if she is really waking up or just fidgeting and settling back down. Sometimes she fidgets for 5 minutes or so, but if I look, she still has her eyes closed so I just leave her alone until I know she is really up and most of the time this isn't the case.
I found this to happen with Lena, too. When I hear her now, I wait to see if she gets louder/opens her eyes before feeding her. She usually sleeps from 8:30/9:00 to between 4 or 5. Then she sleeps for another hour or two before waking up for real. We do all demand feeding, too... as much as I would love to be able to schedule her days a little more!

You guys make a good point, I do give her some time to ramp up from grunts to quiet cries but I never let her full on cry, and it could be that she isn't completely awake. I'm considering transitioning her to her own room (sob, so not ready myself emotionally!) so that way I'll only hear when she's actually awake and like, OK Mom let's go! As it is, I try to find a balance between waiting a bit to make sure she's waking up and not letting her full out cry so she won't wake up DH (he has a hard time getting back to sleep and he has to get up for work so I take on nighttime duties myself). I'll also try the topping off trick. Thanks again, everyone!!

mintea · April 2012

Lurking from Feb 2012 but glad I did because I could have written your OP myself! LO is up to eat every 3 hours and often only eats for 5 minutes at each of those sessions. She has gone longer before but has seemingly settled into this pattern.

Today I was talking to my lactation consultant and she said LO should be going for longer stretches so during one of those wakings to send DH, not me, to soothe her back to sleep. She doesn't really need to eat at that waking, feeding is just what we've established as the soothing ritual, so it's possible to establish another ritual instead to soothe her back to sleep.

She also mentioned that moving her to her own room could help her skip unneeded wakings, something about not sensing the buffet is nearby and open . But, like you, I am so not there emotionally yet.

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