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December 2011 Moms
kaymaroo
member
SAHMs vs. Working Moms--long
kaymaroo
member
So I missed the boat on UOs yesterday but I have to get this off my chest: I am so f********g sick of this debate!
Seriously if I hear one more person say that one is better than the other or harder than the other I am going to SCREAM. Any job is only as hard as you make it. I could be a SAHM who sits on my ass all day watching soap operas OR I could be one who cooks, cleans, does yardwork, takes awesome care of LO and puts Martha Stewart to shame. This is the internet so I guess you'll never really know.
Just like anyone with a job could be a star in their field who works hard all day and still comes home to cook, clean, do yardwork, and take awesome care of LO. Or they could lurk on TB/yap on the phone/clean their toenails at their desk all day and come home and say they're too tired to do anything else. Again, we'll never know.
Like almost every SAHM in the world I have experienced both worlds: working and not. For me, even though I worked hard at any job I ever had and did great at them, SAH is harder because I'm more invested in it and therefore really give it my all. (Granted I didn't have a kid when I was working, so I honestly don't know what would have had to give if I was doing both.) I also think SAH is what's best for my family. Not your family, not the family down the street, but for MY family. I'm a better mommy when I can focus just on the house and baby instead of having my time divided. But that's just me, and I know other women need to get out of the house every day at a "real" job in order to be their best selves, and other women need to work in order to provide for their families. That's cool too.
So can we PLEASE end this stupid, annoying debate? The point of women's lib is that women can CHOOSE what to do--working or not. So let's get off each other's a***s and let us all as women make the choice for ourselves, and stop whining that one or the other has it so much harder.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SAHMs vs. Working Moms--long
My 2 December boys
And yet you got all up in arms when someone called teachers out for being on TB at work, and if I remember correctly, said that by the same logic she shouldn't have time to be on TB either if being a SAHM was so hard. Sounds like taking offense to me.
I did not say that staying at home was not hard. These posts are not related at all IMO. I took offense because she called me a lazy a$$. Very different.
ETA: I used her logic to show that it was flawed.
Oh jeez. This won't end well.
...off to grab some popcorn.
My Blog
Dream of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
I won't rest until we have a West Side Story-style dance off over this. Working moms will be the Sharks, SAHMs will be the Jets.
Seriously, who cares? Everyone is a martyr.
Jan17 Sept Sig: Pumpkin Spice gone too far
LOL
I work part time and I think the days that I work are hard and the days that I stay home are just as hard, but for different reasons (obviously). There is no right or wrong way, some women work because they have to, some because they want to. I am fortunate that my job has a part-time option and I get the best of both worlds.
My Blog
Dream of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
This was exactly my point. I don't care what anyone else does, but it does get under my skin when people say one or the other is harder/better.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but it bugs me and it's my prerogative to say so.
IMO staying at home is rough until you get in the grove of things. I now only find staying home super difficult when DD is in drama llama mode and they both have the poops.
Working is difficult because you have a social standard to stick to.
Both have pros both have cons. The really hard job in my eyes is working at home when both kids have a case of the poops and you have a lot of business calls to make and no one to watch the kids. (Why I quit working at home
)
There is no right way. No wrong way.
This is probably the 5th most redundant post I have read in my years on the bump. You really thought that posting to debate whether or not it is a good idea to debate whether or not it is a good idea to debate whether or not all in the world was lost based on the debate of whether or not ....................
Wait, what the hell was I saying again. Oh well, I guess that made about as much sense as the point of this post.
I find it odd that I came on here to say "Hey, we all work hard, let's make peace about it" and so many people took offense. Maybe you think it's a waste of my time to say so, but I don't go on every post I don't like and ask what the point was of writing it.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive about the perceived digs at SAHMs, and maybe nobody in the history of ever has said that we have it easier. But if I'm too sensitive about that, maybe others are too sensitive about being told to cool it.
the post you're referring to said nothing about anyone else. she said, having experienced both, she thinks being a working mom is harder. Why is that wrong or bad or off-putting to anyone else? it's not about anyone else, it's about her and how she feels. Personally, I feel the same way. Granted, I only stayed at home for 3 months, but it was easier FOR ME to be at home full time than it is to have to work full time AND still be a full time parent.
Why can't people see that it's not a statement trying to put anyone down who does the opposite?
And honestly, you said yourself that when you worked you didn't have kids so don't compare your life when you worked with no kids to your life now as a SAHM - it's like apples and oranges.
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
Boy have I missed you.
Now where was that popcorn?
May Siggy Challenge: TV mom
When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way....
::off to find my dance shoes::
Ella born 12/21/11
This means I lose automatically. My 2 year old dances better than me.
I am a working mom because I want to, and I am happy with my decision. To be perfectly honest, by week 9 or 10 of maternity leave, I was exhausted and knew that SAHM was not for me. I was 'on' from 6am-7pm, plus overnight, with a short break here or there when DH took over. I also missed adult interaction. Now that I am back at work, I am a much happier person. I think both are hard, but for different reasons. When I am at work, if I need to step away for a few minutes to clear my head and just take a break, I can. I couldn't do that as a SAHM. Being a working mom means I do my 'day job' between the hours of 8 and 5, come home and spend a precious hour or two with E before he goes to sleep, then log back into work to get a little more work done. So I am working later, but I am lucky to have flexibility to still spend quality time with E each day. Right now, a working mom might be easier, but I can see there being a lot of conflict and it getting more challenging as E gets older and/if we have #2, #3...
I don't judge anyone for their decision to SAH or work, just as I wouldn't expect to be judge for my decision. I like my job, value my career and I work in an industry where it would be very hard to come back after taking a few years off. I am also a better mom to E because I am happier and more fulfilled in my life. I like that as E gets older, he will have a strong role model and see that male or female, anyone can be successful or the main money maker in a relationship.
Oh, and even though I am a working mom, I have time to bump during conference calls I'm not leading or my pump breaks.
Posts like this crack me up. Bringing it up so it settles down will never work.
As far as the debate goes, I am a working mom and I think it's way easier and way harder than being a SAHM at the same time.
Easier: staying on top of the household chores like cooking, laundry, pretty much anything. Seeing friends and family more often. Doing extra things like shopping sales, etc.
Harder: having a free moment to yourself, adult socialization.
for the win...
I am sorry to have offended anyone, but honestly I don't get what is hard about being a SAHM. To me it is pure joy. I can't wait to be back at home in a few weeks.
Why does it have to be hard to be valid?
I think republicans are going to hell.
This makes me sad
Oh...haha, I'm being facetious. Bringing up the most uncomfortable topics (religion and politics) in an otherwise age-old debate
I figured you were trying to create a diversion. Nice.