MIL and Baptism- WWYD? Need advice

SmittyPants · April 2012

I'm an atheist. My husband is not, but he gives about as much thought to religion as he does to the plight of nomadic tribes in Eastern Europe, which is to say, none.

My MIL attends a very open, very accepting, very non fire and brimstone church. It's more like a weekly book club with a sprinkling of God.

Two years ago we were married in that church because I knew it would mean a lot to my mother in law (but mostly because our reception site couldn't accommodate a ceremony).

She keeps asking me if I'm going to have Maeve baptized at the church. She and my FIL are coming up in June (they live in Austin with a condo here that they live in during the summer) and she thinks June would be "just perfect for it."

On the one hand, I think "What's the harm? It'll make her happy." On the other hand I think, "These are not my beliefs and I don't want to do it".

What would you do?

kali55 · April 2012

I would do it, but just because I like any reason to have a celebration.

If you're not fussed either way, I'd do it for your mil.

megaloo27 · April 2012

I know for some people it is very important. If I didnt care but mil wanted it, I would do it. We don't believe in infant baptism, but I don't think there is any harm in doing. (in my case I would encourage DD to get baptized again when it means something to her)

laurenac · April 2012

I think you have to do whatever feels "right" for you, DH and LO. I try to make decisions regarding DS with DH before considering feelings of extended family members. My parents and the in-laws are always sharing their opinions, but in the end I feel like they have to respect what DH and I want to do.

IMO, having your child baptized to make your MIL happy will not cause harm, however I think that this should not be the only reason you do it. If you see other pros like it being a celebration for your LO, a great opportunity for the family to get together, ect...then go for it!

Another thing to consider is not doing it right away. You can always wait until next year when they visit that way you have more time to make your decision.

SoonToBeMsP · April 2012

I think if you're open to the idea (which it seems like you are since you're entertaining the idea), I'd probably do it. But don't do it if you HATE the idea.

FBW does make a good point that it might open up the "do this because you did that" thing.

Lhand11 · April 2012

I wouldn't if I were you. You shouldn't do things just to please other people. However, if you don't really care and it would cause problems if you didn't, then why not.

Huahine · April 2012

I'd do it. Just in case all those believers out there aren't wrong, it isn't a bad hedge. And it will make your MIL happy.

CharlieTheUnicorn · April 2012

I wouldn't, but it would really bother me to have it done.

Thinkerbelle80 · April 2012

No, don't do it. If you don't believe it, I think it would be wrong to baptize your baby. A baptism is a promise to raise the baby christian. Clearly, you do not want to teach her about Christianity so it would be a farce to baptize her. It doesn't matter if it would make mil happy. Unless you want your baby to be christian, don't go against your beliefs and baptize her. And this is coming from somebody who is very religious.

namara5532 · April 2012

If you aren't religious, I say don't do it. The symbolism behind baptizing a baby is that you're dedicating your baby to God and to a Christian upbringing. If you don't plan to do that, there's really no point in baptizing LO.

That's no reason though why y'all can't get together and have a good time anyway. You don't need an excuse to go out to dinner or something similar when there's family coming to see a baby.

SmittyPants · April 2012

Thanks for your input all. I'm leaning towards no since it would be very hypocritical of me and I don't want to raise my daughter to think being a hypocrite is okay. On the other hand, I also don't want to spend the rest of my MIL's life listening to her b*tch about it... we'll see...

raefre · April 2012

I wouldn't. If it was something you were considering anyway, or something your DH wanted, then sure. But because it is your MIL pressing the issue (and your DH doesn't seem to care), then there is no point other than just tradition. And sometimes it is nice to make your own traditions.

BritanyV · April 2012

Thinkerbelle80:
No, don't do it. If you don't believe it, I think it would be wrong to baptize your baby. A baptism is a promise to raise the baby christian. Clearly, you do not want to teach her about Christianity so it would be a farce to baptize her. It doesn't matter if it would make mil happy. Unless you want your baby to be christian, don't go against your beliefs and baptize her. And this is coming from somebody who is very religious.

Ditto! DO NOT DO IT! Baptism is not just an act it is a promise to do something that you are clearly not going to do because that is not your beliefs.

I am also religious.

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