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Success after IF
JillRock96
member
What did you judge about pre-kids?
JillRock96
member
I was just thinking this morning about how when we first had the twins, I thought the idea of getting the girls matching things (like identical sippy cups) was so silly. I felt like we needed to teach them to compromise, that sometimes they couldn't have the pink one, etc.
OMG. Now I know. That is a lesson I am teaching them all.day.long. anyways. Who has the bigger apple. Who gets the pink plate at this meal. Whose baby doll gets the bottle with orange juice in it. Who gets to wash her hands first. So when it is possible to make life a little easier (by buying three identical hair brushes, for example), I am all about it.
What did you judge about before you had kids, or when your kids were younger?
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Re: What did you judge about pre-kids?
I assume you mean kids related judging, and not just judging in general.
Honestly, not much has changed. I judge moms who let their kid rule the roost and I judge moms who do not even attempt to teach their children about eating a healthy and balanced diet.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
Oh my goodness...how about everything?
I have done so many thing I said I'd never do...when Parker was born, my high standards fell. A lot.
With 2u2, there's no time for high-fallutin' silly standards...at the end of the day, if my kids have been played with, loved on, fed and have semi clean diapers then I call that day a success.
I had my first 'eat my words' moment the other day.
I swore my kids could do any activity, save for cheerleading at a young age.
And what did I sign my daughter up for? Cheer and dance camp.
Long story, but yeah, I'm screwed.
Hmmm, where to start!
MY baby would be in their crib the day they came home from the hospital, haaa she's still in our bed most of the time AND we are fine with it;) MY child would sit in their seat while we were out to eat and she would NOT get on the floor at all... as long as shes quiet and not bothering others, I really don't care. I will add to that, if she was typical I would likely be a little more strict on this but her autism makes things in public more difficult. It used to drive me nuts when little kids/older babies let out screams....who knew they came out of know where:)~ Also, tantruming kids in stores, if I had only known. I guess those are the bigger ones. I'm sure after reading other responses I'll ETA! Having a kid has made me so much less judgmental and having a special needs child has made me waaaay less judgemental!!!
Sorry if this all runs together, I'm on my phone.
Kids who left the house in pajamas and/or bed-head.
Little did I realize DH could care less what DD is wearing when he takes her out own his own. and when dad offers to take daughter out for a bagel and time at the playground at 8am on a Saturday morning so I can sleep, I am not going to spend a single second arguing over the fact that she is still in her pajamas.
As for her hair... I never knew that some toddlers (all?) never, ever, ever, ever sit still. Doing anything to her hair that takes more than 5 seconds is impossible. I try to get it combed and get a clip in it to keep it out of her eyes (all in motion while running after her)... but sometimes, we're in a hurry, she just put her banana-sticky fingers through her hair, and the clip just keeps the mess out of her eyes. And then she rips the clip out of her hair and throws it somewhere, and voila! I'm that mom with a kid in public who looks like she just rolled out of bed.
Because we're fancy like that.
Mine is/ was TV. No tv before 2, and no tv in the car (until some undefined age). I don't think I thought it was "evil" - I just didn't see the point and so they were better without.
Then, when DS was about 18 months, I found myself turning it on and *begging* him to pay attention!! (He wouldn't.). Anything to get just a few seconds of stillness from my crazy-active, 10000-miles-a-minute boy!! Now, at just over 2, he will occasionally watch an episode or 2 of Blue (he still hasnt shown interest in anythinh else), and we do use the DVD player in the car. And I heart both
Older toddlers who had binkies!!!! Yeah then I gave birth to a binky addict : )
Kids who left the house looking all disheveled with messy hair and face- you should see what K looks like some days after daycare!! Kids who are playing a video games in a restaurant. I let K watch a movie on my phone at a restaurant (gasp) but it makes for a very nice dinner for all : )
There are still a few things I judge (mainly safety related and letting your kids rule the house) but for the most part all my other judgements went out the window.
My kid would never sit in the basket of a carraige. Yeah okay, it is either that or me never going to the store again!
Food - I guess the opposite of orangesmoke - as long as my 23 lb 2.5 year old kid is eating I am happy. Luckily he does love all fruits and veggies, but I totally get other parents need to not stick with the perfect well balanced meal at this age.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
SO many things. Kids being noisy & out of control...parents who seemed to let kids dictate their lives, their schedule, their availability (ha! typical single person's viewpoint!)...bedsharing...whining...messy/unkempt kids...anything other than very modest BFing in public (yup!)...I could go on and on.
Not proud of it, but it just goes to show you how being a parent often changes your entire outlook!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
I wasn't going to bedshare EVER. DD is a bad sleeper and most nights she ends up in bed with us after about 4 AM.
I was never going to sleep train. Now I'm really looking forward to getting past these ear infections so we can work on STTN.
In general, I have learned very quickly never to say never.
IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt
DD born med-free on 10/24/11
Not much, I mostly think whatever works for folks doesn't bug me, except for a few things that I swore I wouldn't do myself (even if not judging others) but have done anyways (bed-sharing, attempting sleep training).
Only big one I can think of is tutus and GIANT hair accesories on babies, I used to hate them, but then I had a girl and while I still am not personally a fan of giant frilly tutus or naked babies in nothing but a tutu, she may have a few pairs of leggings with modest attached tulle, and she may have some hairbows so big DH likens them to fascinators.
Oh and adding one more... PJ shirts in public. D is fighting me tooth and nail to change his PJ shirt that "daddy put on" and I want to go to the park already... I am just ready to give up the fight, stick a jacket on him and go!
Too tired to fight today.
Call me a whimp - but he is strong for a 2.5 year old.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
I have always said that I wouldn't be on of those parents who gives their screaming toddler whatever they want just to shut them up. But we are not yet at that point so we'll see how that goes. I have a feeling that if DS is having a tantrum in public I will have a hard time standing my ground
I used to judge the 2-3 year old with a paci. DS is seriously addicted to his frog wubbanub paci. So I get it now. I hope to have DS broken of his habit by 18 months -2. I would like to wait until he can understand it and use the approach of him giving his paci's to other babies who need them. Again, we'll see how that goes...
Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12
TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks
Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts.
TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
I used to judge girl moms for getting excited over clothes.
When I told my boss, who has a 6yo girl herself, that my u/s showed I was having a girl, she gushed "Oh, that's great!! You'll be able to dress her in all kinds of cute stuff" I did a mental eye roll and thought "Sure boss, that's why I had two IVFs, so I could have a doll to dress up". Of course I key it slide because she didn't know I had IVF and she's my boss, but still.
I'm not going BSC with bows and ruffles and Pepto-Bismol pink and all that, but I will admit to having developed a new appreciation for cute girl clothes since Annika was born.
Edit: I also used to judge using meds during pregnancy. At 16 weeks I was still nauseous as hell; I caved in to taking Zofran only because I was invited to an upcoming girls' weekend and I didn't want to drag everyone else down with my nausea. The OB's nurse said "Zofran is great; you'll be mad that you didn't start sooner" and she was right. And Ambien saved my a$$ in my last month.
Bed sharing--I thought it was weird and compromised the marriage.
We bed shared until about 14 months--when I thought he was ready.
But I swore I would NEVER do it. haha
OMG, before kids my SIL slept with her son and I thought that was all sorts of BSC. I mean she'd go to bed at the same time as her toddler! Well I never...
Ya, I do that. All. The. Time. And now that I'm huge and uncomfortable I only sleep with my toddler. DH sleeps in another room because his snoring wakes all of us up and there's no room for him in the bed with me, the snoogle, and the crazy spinning sleeping whirlwind that is DD at night.
Oops.
I cannot think of specifics but I am sure I judged so many things that I do right now. Speciic thoughts are
1) when I was on maternity leave and G was a horrible napper, the only way I could get her to nap was in the stroller or car-- but in the stroller, we needed it to be smooth pavement-- so the sidewalks were too bumpy. I walked in the street, right next to the sidewalk and am sure the pre-baby me would have been like "what an idiot-- walk on the sidewalk!"
2) Garrison will.not wear a coat. ( LUckily this winter was fairly mild but even so there were some days where we would walk from the car into a restaurant and DH and I would have jackets on and G would not, I am sure I would have some choice words for those parents.
3) Garrison dresses herself and sometimes her choices are well, questionnable. We hold firm on needing to wear pants under a sundress in February but otherwise pick our battles and I am sure some people without kids wonder what the heck we were thinking.