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Blended Families
CO question - one parent moving - help please
This isn't for me. It's for my DH's sister who divorced her husband a year or so ago.
So my FIL has had a bout of health issues, and my SIL has been commuting about 60 miles away to his house from her home. She has been actually thinking about moving up to the same town. She is the only daughter and wants to be the main caretaker of FIL.
However, somehow she just found out that the CO says she cannot more more than 40 miles away.
Is there anything that can be done? All she is asking is practically to get it moved up from 40 to 61 miles away.
TIA.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: CO question - one parent moving - help please
does SIL not work that a job commute wouldnt be an issue? not sure how sick FIL is, but if he gets better or passes on within the next 6 months to a year will she move back afterwards? I think her best bet would be to just move the 40 miles and commute the further 20 to FIL's house in order to take care of him.
not sure how old the child is but she is looking at changing the childs school as well? not sure how frequently she wants to do that?
could she look into moving FIL closer to her?
My CO requires both X and I to stay within the county (though it's a freakishly huge county so we could end up several hours away from each other). I contemplated moving about an hour away from X but ended up deciding against it because I knew it would impact X's relationship with DS. He would likely miss soccer practices, DR appts, and other activities because of the commute. I can see why she wants to move but I also understand if he X fights her on it.
What others said. Don't get me wrong, DH is in the military and has to move all of the time (though given BM married and had kids with an ADSM, she doesnt get a moral high ground) and I firmly believe that the MOVING parent has more responsibility to "fixing" this then the parent who has not moved.
Honestly, if the BF lives in the same school district as the BM does currently, then maybe custody should change to the BF. Becoming the primary caregiver is a really hard and time consuming job. Asking a child to move away from her father and her friends into a new home where she WILL be secondary is a bit much.
I lived with my grandmother to help her care for my ailing great-grandparents. I was 28-30. It sucked for the adult me. I can only imagine what it will be like for a child.
Okay spoke to her and apparently her ex DH hasn't given her any child support (so this adds to what I previously said) and the divorce is not yet final. So first she has to get this taken care of. I know this has nothing to do with visitation or moving.
Next - her ex is being a jerk and she is glad she found this in the initial paperwork - her lawyer didn't catch this, or whatever. It was her ex that requested this 40 mile thing. Thankfully she went over the inital paperwork when she initally filed and found the 40 mile. Had she just up and moved - he could have ran back to court and nailed her with this. They both have cars so an extra 21 miles wouldn't be to much to ask would it?
The schools are better up here and the job pay is better up here. So I think perhaps she has a chance - she is asking for joint residential custody. So hopefully she can get it amended.