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Miscarriaged a week ago and now problems with family

amelton2012amelton2012
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I miscarried at 5 weeks but I only knew I was pregnant for 3 days :( But now my mother-in-law is being very distant. She was gone on vacation when she found out we were pregnant but we couldn't tell her about the miscarriage until she got home. Now she aviods me, like we went to see her monday night and when we got down there she left so we waited for an hour then  we headed to her brothers house where she was to see her and as soon as we got there she left. Now we have been inviting her over for dinner for the last 3 nights and every night she has canceled. So tonight we went there for dinner and she didn't speak to me. Now my husband is how on the farm fixing fence and she is out with him and everyone but couldn't talk to me. Am i just emotional or is she avioding me. What have I done wrong? Btw we are living in her house, but she doesnt live here. So I feel like we need to move asap to aviod this bc I don't know what else to do.
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Re: Miscarriaged a week ago and now problems with family

  • LaBellaVidaLaBellaVida member
    oh, im sorry for your loss, and so sorry that you feel like you did something wrong and are being avoided. Have you tried to talk to her? maybe she just doesnt know what to say to you. Have you talked to her husband about it, and maybe asked him to talk to her? whats his take on the situation? I would walk out there and ask her if something is wrong and try and open up to her. I personally would make the first move to get to the bottom of the situation, and if that doesnt work i would talk to your hubby and see what he says and how he feels before just moving out of the home.
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  • MrsPBandJMrsPBandJ member
    Sorry for your loss.  For me, we only told our immediate family. Some of our parents were very open about talking, but for my MIL I had to actually tell her that I'm okay talking about the miscarriage before she would say anything.  Sometimes I think people assume that if you're going through something difficult that it will be too hard for you to talk about it, so I would say something if you feel like she's avoiding you.  I just spoke with my mom this last weekend (3 weeks after my m/c) and she told me that it was hard for her too and she confided in one of her best friends that she knew wouldn't tell anyone else.  Perhaps she's also feeling sad about the loss of her grandchild.
    Me:32 dx anovulation, unknown reason DH:41
    4 cycles Clomid=No O, 6 total cycles of Femara + Ovidrel
    BFP #1 3/14/12 EDD 11/21/12 MC 3/23/12 5w3d Back to TTC Femara + Ovidrel April/May 2012 
    BFP #2 5/19/12 EDD 1/27/13 No hb @ 7w1d 6/11/12 1st dose cytotec 6/18/12 8w1d 
    RPL panel: MTHFR compound heterozygousStarted folic acid/baby aspirin, cleared to TTC 9/12BFP #3 10/25/12 EDD 7/9/13 Beta #1 13DPO 119 Beta #2 15DPO 264 
    Baby E born 7/8/13

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • MWoodsideMWoodside member

    I'm sorry for your loss. 

    Do you think she just doesn't know what to say?  Or do you think she's upset with you?  I hope it's the former. 

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
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