You might be a fatass - Page 2 — The Bump
2nd Trimester

You might be a fatass

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Re: You might be a fatass

  • imageSGC29:

    You might be a fatass if you start crying because your husband bought you brown sugar frosted mini wheats and not chocolate.

    You also might be a fatass when you double back through the taco bell line to order seconds.

    Woof. 

    ETA: I've certainly never done any of these things though..

    *whistles out of post* 

    I. LOVE. this.

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  • You might be a fata$$ if you bought a gallon of your favorite ice cream and decided for 3 days in a row that would be your lunch, straight from the gallon...(btw DH never got any...I ate the whole gallon in 3 lunch sittings)  Embarrassed

     

     

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  • you might be a fatass if you just cannot stop eating the extra loaded ketchup chips even though they've long stopped tasting good and are, in fact, hurting your mouth from all the flavoring... and then you throw a mini fit when your partner moves the bag out of your reach. at least my laziness counteracted my fatass-ness: i was too lazy to get off the couch to get the bag again! uh...
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  • Sookie......THANK YOU SO MUCH! I needed this post in the worst way.  I have just spent the last few minutes laughing my head off and realizing that we fellow fatasses need to stick together!

    my own statement: If you eat a banana for breakfast, 20 minutes later a nutragrain bar, 30 minutes later a container of yogurt, 20 minutes after that 2 packets of maple and brown sugar oatmeal, then 30 minutes later send your co-worker out to Wawa to get you a egg and cheese bagel sandwich to which he calls and says they are on sale 2 for 1 and you start drooling in anticipation....then eat both all before lunch, which you also can't wait to get to after downing the breakfast sandwiches....you might be a fatass! 

    Thankfully this has only happened once to this extreme, but similar situations have arose where my friends and family look at me like I am from another planet and will start eating the children next...to which I promply reply, I already did...you didn't think this food is all for me did you?  My little prisoner needs fed too!

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  • imageMrs.S-S:

    You may unequivocally, without any question, be a fatass, if you are dying laughing at all of the posts in this thread because you have done or have thought about doing the thing, or something similar, mentioned in 95% of them.

    Is in afternoon snack time yet? Anyone?

     

    Damn right it is.  Unfortunately, I've felt like such a fatass lately that my snack was a veggie tray and nothing very scandalous.  BORING.

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  • When you buy bags of candy or cookies and hide them in say your dresser drawer so your husband can't eat them, you might be a fatass.

    When you buy a bag of peanut butter cups and intend to add them to your dresser drawer stash but eat the whole bag over the course of 1 day, you might be a fatass.

  • imagemswood1977:

    If you can't do anything, or think about anything else until after you have eaten at least 6 of the homemade chocolate chip cookies you have been craving all day....you might be a fatass

    If when the waitress brings out the grilled chicken salad and the bacon double cheese burger and looks suprised when your husband claims the salad....you might be a fatass.

     

    LOL!!! Yep I can relate to that one. TOO FUNNY!!

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  • Love it! That was us yesterday.
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  • imagePaisley4140:

    You might be a fatass if your eatin' schedule is more like a hobbit than a human being: breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea . . . .

     This... made me laugh hysterically. 

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  • If you're at Disneyland and begin your day with a plate of fruit (because you wanted to be good that day) then a piece of chocolate cheesecake followed by a giant corn dog, fries, a turkey leg, full steak dinner and end the night with churro all on your own...you might be a fatass :)
  • imageSookieFrackhouse68:
    imageMrs.S-S:
    imageSookieFrackhouse68:

    imageLILBIT1221:
    imageScout2005:
    You might be a fatass if you ate an entire tube of Pillsbury Cinnabon rolls. And feel no guilt about it whatsoever.
    wait, did you bake them first?

    No way man, she microwaved them and lit the damn house on fire in the process!

    OMG I don't know why but this is the funnist thing I have red all day. I just spewed water out my nose.

    Wanna laugh more?

    A poster from our board actually attempted to microwave a raw biscuit, and was SHOCKED when she looked over and it was ON FIRE.

    OMG, classic. CLASSIC.

    LMAO!!


    DS born 9/25/12
    DS #2 due 6/13/16
  • I'm lurking from 3rd tri, but just wait, you ladies will want to be back on this board when you move up, it's so much more fun! This post is hilarious...

    If you have friends over and send your husband out to buy a cherry pie and ice cream, and eat all of the pie without realizing it in front of your friends before they can get any... You are a fat ass. There is no might be about it.

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  • imagePaisley4140:

    You might be a fatass if your eatin' schedule is more like a hobbit than a human being: breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea . . . .

    This almost made me spit out my water from laughing; so true! :)

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  • If your SO tells you that 3 to 4 cookies is a good portion . . . and you eat the whole bag of cookies ball it up and look him dead in the face and say "Sweetheart there are no more . . . this is portion control! and I need more cookies!"  YMBAFA
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  • You might be a fatass if you stand in front of the Jelly Belly dispenser at the supermarket wondering if taking some from the spill tray underneath counts as stealing, not because you don't want to pay for your jelly beans, but because you want them RIGHT NOW, not ten minutes from now.

     

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  • imageMrs.S-S:

    You may unequivocally, without any question, be a fatass, if you are dying laughing at all of the posts in this thread because you have done or have thought about doing the thing, or something similar, mentioned in 95% of them.

    Is in afternoon snack time yet? Anyone?

     

    Yep, exactly. Fave post maybe since I have been on TB this time around.

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  • If you have already trained your husband to not touch any food that may belong to you... you might be a fatass.

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  • imageBonitaKaz:
    If you have already trained your husband to not touch any food that may belong to you... you might be a fatass.

     

    This Yes


                                                        [MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]

  • YMBAFA if while at your future sister in-law's bridal shower, you are the 1st to get your lunch, wolf it down in less than 5 minutes and then go back for seconds while eyeing the cupcakes on the desert table all the while everyone else is still finishing their lunch.


                                                        [MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]

  • imageSookieFrackhouse68:

    imageLILBIT1221:
    YMBAFA if: you are loading mac n cheese into your to go container & topping it with bacon bits, cheese, sour cream & jalapenos & people are stopped & staring at you like you are a circus side show act. Embarrassed

    If you think that sounds fvckings delicious, you might also, in fact, be a fatass.

    that does sound delicious, actually. 

    And you might be a fatass if you buy a whole bag of cookies from the grocery store, and give your husband the stink eye if he even looks at them. Those are your cookies!

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  • You go to the store only for spaghetti sauce (for tonight's dinner) and end up spending $70 because everything looks delicious.

    Or you go to the local gelato place and not only ask if they will mix flavors for you but when they agree, you ask them for a combination that makes both your DH and the gelato owner question you..(FTR, It was German Chocolate and Cheesecake flavors and it was AMAZING!) 

  • If (while DH is out) you bake two cakes, eat one all by yourself, then exclaim when he arrives home, "Look honey! I made a cake!" and proceed to eat half of the second cake while he eats one measley slice, YMBAFA. 

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  • If you are taking note of some of these posts to use as ideas for later (good places to hide food, for example)...you might be a fatass.
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  • If you text your husband demanding whole foods cake -specifically yellow with vanilla frosting, and then manufacture tears so that he goes back out for said cake, TWICE....You just might be a fatass.
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  • You might be a fat ass if you actually cried because your SO ate your ice cream cookie sandwich. :( Also, this whole thread makes me LOL!
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  • If your biggest worries consist of what you will eat for the 7 separate meals a day...YOU MIGHT BE A FATASS!!!
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  • imageMPJR91910:
    If (while DH is out) you bake two cakes, eat one all by yourself, then exclaim when he arrives home, "Look honey! I made a cake!" and proceed to eat half of the second cake while he eats one measley slice, YMBAFA. 

    ROTFLMFAO!! 

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  • If you walk into a friend's house and immediately make yourself a bowl of cereal, take a couple of brownies and are halfway done before you realize you're not at home...
  • Thank you soo much! Not only have I done half of these things, but I have also taken notes!
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  • YMBAFA if you can't get said fat ass off the couch without help from DH.

    YMBAFA if your 3am pee session is also your 3am snack session, and by snack I mean meal.

    YMBAFA if you *** on fb about not being able to get chips only sold in Maine, knowing someone will send you them. And then when the postman drops them off you eat the whole bag that busted open in the box so it's not wasted. Oh and threaten bodily harm to DH if he so much as looks at them.

    and lastly YMBAFA if your entire dinner was 3 cupcakes, a slice of red velvet cake, and 3 pieces of pizza. But I don't know what that's like because non of this has ever happened to me.

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  • If a kindergartener comes up to you after music class and pokes you in the belly while getting in line and says fat belly then you might be a fatass. I kid you not. This happened to me yesterday. Needless to say I had to tell them that I was pregnant not just fat! :-P
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  • Had to get in on this one....

    If your husband surprises you with a barbecue lunch and you spend the next fifteen minutes screaming about how sexy he is...honey, you're a fatass.

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  • imageMrs.S-S:
    imageSookieFrackhouse68:

    imageLILBIT1221:
    imageScout2005:
    You might be a fatass if you ate an entire tube of Pillsbury Cinnabon rolls. And feel no guilt about it whatsoever.
    wait, did you bake them first?

    No way man, she microwaved them and lit the damn house on fire in the process!

    OMG I don't know why but this is the funnist thing I have red all day. I just spewed water out my nose.

    Spewing water out of your nose can be a dangerous thing, I did that yesterday and all of sudden vomit instead of water was spewing out of me. Highlight of pregnancy so far : ) You might be a fatass if you buy all the discount easter candy and scarf it  down while the kids are in bed so you don't have to share. 

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  • I'm late to the party (poop!), but YMBAFA if you go down to the office cafeteria for a tube of prepackaged mini-donuts, and also accept the free brownie the lunch guy offers "because you look like you need it."

    YMBAFA if the lunch guy informs you of his plan to make chocolate cream pie for you next week, and apologizes for not having time this week.  (I work with 500 people, and the cafeteria folks KNOW me.) 

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  • You might be a fatass if ....

     ...you started making extra thick double fudge brownies at 9am and ate half a bag of oreos while waiting the hour it takes the brownies to bake

     ...you finish a family size bag of Cheetos in 3 days 

     

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