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Infertility Veterans
XV11Star
member
I want my body back...really just a vent
XV11Star
member
Went in today for my 2nd round of MTX shots, and they did another u/s just to see if anything was visible. I had 3 cysts on my right side - all in the 30s, and a 45 on the left side. No wonder I feel so ridiculously bloated. I never had that much activity on an ultrasound when I was doing an IVF cycle. 
I have been dieting and exercising and the weight is holding on for dear life. My boobs are seriously out of control!! I *cannot* stand to see pictures of myself right now. I can't wait to just get my old body back - my old hormone levels, however imperfect, were at least my own. I feel like a big, fat, non-pregnant-yet-pregnant heifer, stuck in this ridiculous limbo.
OK, I feel a little better now. Thanks for listening!!! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I want my body back...really just a vent
(((hugs)))
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
::big hugs::
I'm so sorry that your still going through beta hell. I hope this 2nd round of meds speeds up the process of bringing your body back to normal!!!!
7 IUIs = All BFNs
2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN
2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
May IVF #3 = c/p
June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
July FET #2 = BFN
Aug FET #3 = BFN
Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
Dec FET #4 = BFN
2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
Sept FET #6 = TBD
**PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!
Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
DH: Severe MFI/Azoo Me: Compound heterozygous MTHFR
IVF #1= m/c- methotrexate @6w2d
FET #1= BFN
IVF #2= m/c- D&C @8w5d
IVF #3= Beta #1 9dp5dt= 252, Beta #2 11dp5dt= 417, Beta #3 17dp5dt= 4,952
US #2 @ 7w2d= twins, baby B measuring behind
US #3 @ 8w5d= Baby A doing well, no HR in baby B
*S/PAIF always welcome*
me 33/DH 36
ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014
::: Married June 2003:::
TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
IVF# 4= c/p
***CCRM ODWU***
Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
***New RE***
DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture.
IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015
http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant
Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB
baby girl born 5/10/13
TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28.
IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!! Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!
Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl
Thank you so much for the support and sympathy!!
Oh, good add in Gregermis ;-) Yes, the sporadic yet somehow incessant spotting... ugh! Praying it is over soon for you and you can move on too!!!
Just to add the universe's salt in the wound, while I was looking at my ultrasound of my cyst filled ovaries ... my cousin was looking at her gender scan ultrasound of her baby - the one that is due when I would have been due. Craptastic. I swear I want to be happy for her, but it has seriously been like this every step of the way (the salt in the wound, bad timing, are you kidding me?! feeling).
Meh, well, the sun shining ~ happy Tuesday!!
15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!
Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...
Hugs, this was a huge issue for me too...
I am normally fit (im 6ft tall and wore a size 8).
After 3 fresh Ivf's, a loss and a fet in a yr...i felt like i was wearing a fat suit. Although i still wasn't medically overweight.
Now i just tell myself, there was nothing i could really do...and I'll deal with it all later. Hard bc i'm pretty vain....but w ART, it's like our bodies are not our own. HUGS
YES! Exactly, this.
A fat suit! ha! You nailed it, that's exactly what I feel like. I am 5'9" and normally fit ~ wear a size 8 normally though so you're fitter for sure :-)). Right now I want to shop in the plus size dept. It doesn't feel at all like my own body, when I see pictures I am like -- who the heck is that? The RE and nurses keep assuring me that when my numbers drop all will return to normal. Between the hormones and the cysts, I can only imagine that I will at least feel better. I read on here once someone said their ovaries felt like bags of change. Perfect description.
I hope you're doing well, Vanessa!!