Twin moms re: having a 3rd

SeaSoul · April 2012

I've always wondered whether having a twin pregnancy first made one more likely to want to have a 3rd child. We have always only wanted 2 kids. However, I can see how if I'd had twins the first time, I might decide I wanted a 3rd so I could go through the whole pregnancy/childbirth/baby experience again. Even though we definitely wanted a sibling for Cal, I also wanted desperately to have the whole experience again.

Those of you who've had (or plan to have) a 3rd child (or more)...did you always plan on 3+, or did having twins first cause you to want to have more?

Hope I worded that well and you understand what I'm asking!

JustaKidAtHeart · April 2012

We always said 2 kids. Then we had 2 and I felt like I was missing the chance to be pregnant again (to have a "normal" pregnancy). As soon as the boys were born we knew we wernt done (now we are).

kimarino13 · April 2012

Two kids was all I wanted. I was bummed in a way to have twins because that meant only one pregnancy, one chance to watch milestones, one time to go through newborn cuddles, etc. Obviously I wouldn't change it for the world and I feel insanely blessed, but it did for awhile make me think that we should try for a third just to experience all of that one more time.

But, using my head, my hands are SO full working full-time and parenting twin two year olds. And financially, it just wouldn't work well (saving for college, three in daycare, etc.). So, two it is for us.

sherryberry2 · April 2012

I wanted to have three kids but my husband only wanted two. I told him I would be fine with two. Then, we had the girls and I changed my mind. I want to experience another pregnancy, especially with a singleton. Also, I love the girls so much and enjoy being a mom that I want another child. We also have one frozen embryo. My husband is fine stopping but has agreed to do a FET. If it is unsuccessful, we will be finished.

JenCW · April 2012

I totally understand what you're asking because it absolutely applies to me.

I never imagined having four kids. I was actually trying to get used to the idea that we might not have any when we got PG with the triplets. At first after having them (when my world was in total chaos) I thought that would be it. But, as time passed I definitely longed for the chance to experience it all again. I felt like I missed so much the first go around.

My hubby and I both agree that we ended up with more than our "plan" because the triplets came first. If I'd had a couple of singleton pregnancies (or even a singleton then twins), maybe we would have had two or three kids, but never four. I LOVE it now, and I'm so glad things happened the way they did!!!

ardilla · April 2012

I originally wanted 2, DH wanted 1. Then we had the twins. I would love to have a third, but DH is against it. I see his arguments, but I kind of feel our family is incomplete. Plus I would like to experience a "normal", happy pregnancy, but even with a singleton, I'm not sure that would happen. I had PTL so early and had so many complications that I would probably be high risk again. I'm sad I never got to go do registry stuff, or have a baby shower, have a 3-D ultrasound (other than the 45 seconds or so a tech turned it on feeling sorry for me while on hospital bedrest), and other things like that. We are so lucky that our LOs are here and healthy that it almost feels like tempting fate to try again. Not to mention I no longer have any IF coverage on insurance, and daycare costs for 3 would be astronomical. Reality can really stink.

BigHairQueen · April 2012

I definitely want more. I always said I wanted 2 or 3 children but now I know I really want 3 or more. I absolutely love being a mom and can't wait to do it again. I often find myself wondering what it's like to be pregnant with a singleton.

BigHairQueen · April 2012

BigHairQueen:
I definitely want more. I always said I wanted 2 or 3 children but now I know I really want 3 or more. I absolutely love being a mom and can't wait to do it again. I often find myself wondering what it's like to be pregnant with a singleton.

I should add that I LOVED being pregnant. After I had my c/s (in the recovery room) I told DH "now I know why that crazy lady has 19 kids!" BTW, DH is all for having more children.

LoveTX · April 2012

I have boy/girl twins that are 4 and I am now pregnant with a 3rd. This will definitely be my last pregnancy, but I felt after the twins my family was not complete. I really do think that if I had two separate pregnancies that I may have been done. I'm really excited about this baby and I hope to have a much smoother delivery than I did the 1st time around.

jcath · April 2012

I do think it's very different to have twins vs two babies with some time between them. I personally hate being pregnant but I get why people who feel okay while pregnant would want to do it again. It's really a special time. Having a newborn is so amazingly special too, I think if my twins were my first it would have been very tempting to do it again.

Mrs.Babbsy · April 2012

We always said 4 kids, but I definitely wanted to be pregnant again. I am done after this one though. I am too old to be this damn sick.

I may do a warm transfer with my remaining embryos, because I can't make a decision on them.

ijustcantthinkrightnow · April 2012

I always said I wanted three, DH was two but maybe three. Since having twins he has opened much more to the idea of a third....we are actually back with the RE getting started. And now we are both talking of possibly more then three, but we are getting way ahead of ourselves.

Nerwak · April 2012

MrsLee04:
I would like to experience pg again but have no interest in having the baby experience again. Sometimes I think I was meant to have twins because I wanted 2 kids but if I had only 1 the 1st time I'm not sure ever would've had a 2nd.

This exactly. We feel done and complete anyway.

JillRock96 · April 2012

I had twins second, but I think it still changed things for me. I always wanted 3, but I think I really banked on having three pregnancies. I really loved being pregnant, and I do kind of feel like I missed out on that third opportunity to be pregnant. I really go back and forth about whether or not we will try for a fourth. There are a lot of factors involved! Right now I really want to have a fourth at some point. I know that right now is not the time, but we will revisit it in a few years to see if we feel the same.

LadyGolfer523 · April 2012

JustaKidAtHeart:
We always said 2 kids. Then we had 2 and I felt like I was missing the chance to be pregnant again (to have a "normal" pregnancy). As soon as the boys were born we knew we wernt done (now we are).

I agree with the bolded section 100%. I would love a third but Dh isn't sold on the idea. I also have panic attacks imagining two toddlers running around while taking care of a newborn. Who knows where we'll end up.

CJ71903 · April 2012

We said we wanted 2-3 kids. I was more in the two side and my husband thought 3. Now, though, I really would like to have one more baby, if not two more. I do want to be pregnant again and am hoping it's a normal pregnancy without all the complications I had.

kafunder · April 2012

We had never really settled on how many kids we wanted before the twins. But, after them, we knew we wanted more, in part b/c we can see ourselves with a relatively big family and in part b/c we wanted to experience having a singleton. I also want to know what a normal pregnancy is like (but obviously that's not enough of a reason alone to have more kids). I definitely think it's different if you have twins first vs. two separate pregnancies.

Soon2beMrs.Sivert · April 2012

Yes I think having twins first made me want three kids because I do want the chance at a normal pregnancy and to have that opportunity again.

OrangeSmoke · April 2012

We always said we wanted 3 kids.

Well, shortly after the twins were born, I said I might want to think about having 4 kids. But then they turned into toddlers and life got very very crazy. We went for #3 because we had one frozen embie left. I'm not sure if I'd be up for doing a fresh cycle with twin toddlers.

Now that I'm getting my 3 kids and we are out of frozen embies, #4 is definitely out the window. Unless there is miracle BFP, which I'm not ready to rule out but dh is.

keg · April 2012

I think we always wanted more than two kids, but like pp, I would love to have a normal singleton pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, etc. experience. I adore having my girls and I think having twins was great for me in that I realized early on that I was going to have to throw my preconceived notions out the window. I think having a third would be good for the girls to expand their "set" a little.

google123 · April 2012

We always knew that we wanted 3+ kids. I had twins for my first time around, and I knew right away I wanted a third. I'm hoping some day in the future I will be blessed with a 3rd and maybe a 4th (when the others will be older and I'll get the urge for that babyness). I would also like to experience an easy singleton pregnancy and try and enjoy it, I didn't with the twins I was too stressed about over the possibility of complications

LisaandBryan · April 2012

I always wanted 2 kids or even 1 but having twins definitly changed that for me. I desperately wanted a normal pregnancy, with no NICU time for a baby and I'm not going to lie ,I really wanted a girl. I got all of that and couldn't be happier. HAd I had them seprately we probalby woudln't have gone for a third cause I really hate being pregnant. I feell really blessed and know our family is complete and that this is the way it was supposed to be.

Fancy3Face · April 2012

We always wanted 3+. Having the twins first just propelled that. We're waiting until the twins are 2 to (fingers crossed) get pg again. Someone mentioned the twin toddlers running around and I'm in that currently and can't imagine baby #3 right now. Definitely excited to have more though!

browneyedgrl4282 · April 2012

I always knew I wanted at least 3 kids so there was no doubt that I would have another after the twins. We still have no shut the door on another but only time will tell.

nolachick11 · April 2012

I wanted 3 and DH wanted 2 to 3. We just did our FET last week b/c we had 2 frosties left. DH could have been done with just the twins. Honestly it was a big debate because he could have been done and I felt like it was meant for me to put one or both back in. I was unsettled on donating them because in my heart I wasn't done. Dh finally agreed and we didn't know until the morning of transfer last week if we were putting one or both back and we went with both since the quality changed. We shall see at my beta tomorrow but I have been getting negatives all week. If this doesn't work out, then we are done.

regenab · April 2012

I would love to have a 3rd. I think the driving force behind this is because my first are twins. I would love to experience a singleton pregnancy and having just one newborn/infant/toddler. I feel like I missed out on a lot of one on one time with my twins because I always seemed to be in survival mode through their first 3 years. That said DH is not feeling it. Mostly because he is only home 3 days a month so I would be on my own and he would miss out on most of the first 2 years. So he said even though he really doesn't want any more kids (he has a 16 year old son from his first marriage, so 3 kids total for him) he is willing to talk about it when he his home full time again in 2 years when he retires from the military. But I think he just says this to appease me. He knows at that point the girls will be almost 6 years old and there is no way I am going to want to go back to the newborn stage. But secretly I would love to have 1 or 2 more kids. I mean once you make the jump to 3 kids, what is 4.

preheatedoven · April 2012

regenab:
I would love to have a 3rd. I think the driving force behind this is because my first are twins. I would love to experience a singleton pregnancy and having just one newborn/infant/toddler. I feel like I missed out on a lot of one on one time with my twins because I always seemed to be in survival mode...

This, exactly:)

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