Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
lilhockeygurlMOM
member
Re: I get jealous
What you're feeling is completely normal. You do the majority of the caring and living and raising. But, Daddy comes along and you're forgotten in a heartbeat. There's nothing wrong with feeling jealous, or even resentful. Try not to let it show. It's good for your daughter to be with her father.
I felt the same way. It had been just her and me for 12 years, then he comes moseying into her life and she thinks he's the best thing next to Dove Dark Chocolate. I felt a little rejected at first.
It's like they forget all about Mom. But, she didn't. Not really. Deep down, where it counts, she knows who takes care of her. If she stayed with him too long, she would start wanting to go home and ask for you. "Hey this is fun and all, but where's mommy?" I promise.
I feel you lady. Ever since Rome got to spend time with his daddy he never wants anything to do with me any more. It's great that they have a good relationship but it sucks to feel forgotten. I agree with PP, encourage it if he's good with her. Every child has a longing to have a good father in their life.
Oh and P.S. Watch out for the d-bag S.M. guy. You know who I'm talking about. Total player and will say anything to you to make your heart skip a beat. I deleted him from my FB as soon as I realized what an idiot he was. He was saying the same crap to a dozen other girls as he was saying to me. I'm sure he's saying them to you now too. Just watch yourself, he's full of lies and you don't deserve a guy like that messing with your head.
That sucks
I know the feeling.
Have you tried changing up your exchanges? My DS will freak out if either parent tries to drop him off at the others front door (or car for that matter). I'm not sure why. If we do the exchanges somewhere other than the doorway or car he's fine. We do them in the yard. We let DS run around for a minute then whoever is leaving says bye and goes on their way. Then DS goes inside. If we do that he's totally fine. Last Saturday I made the mistake of carrying him to X's front door since he was tired and he totally flipped out and yelled no daddy even though I know he loves spending time with X. He's done the same thing to me too when I've tried to help get him out of X's car.
Were you high when you posted that you two were getting back together?
That's constructive.
EDIT; hadn't read the pot thing. That makes what you said funny, and I apologize.
This. She's been posting for as long as I can remember. She and BD have a tumulteous relationship and they were both caught with pot. One second she hates him, the next she's back together with him. She just posted about getting back together with him here:
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/64540017.aspx
Basically she makes zero sense. The best part is she posts and runs and no one has a clue what she's going to say next. But it is safe to say it will be something completely random. Probably because she's high.
I get posts and posters mixed up sometimes. Too many nearly identical ones to keep up with. I vaguely recall that, now that you mention it. She's all over board where ex was concerned.
Yes, but this has been going on for YEARS. It's time for her to wise up.
Were you high when you responded to this?