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Natural Birth
Ziegeficker
member
Who was your biggest advocate in the delivery room?
Ziegeficker
member
Hello everyone 
I'm new to this board and to birthing in general, so please forgive me if my questions seem a little ignorant.
I would like to birth naturally, but I'm going to do so in a hospital that is fairly accommodating of birth plans, natural births, and the like. I plan on hiring a doula, and I'm currently with an office of OBs that has four rotating doctors (so any one of these may deliver my baby). I've met only one of them so far but didn't discuss my birth plans or anything. I have an appointment at the end of this month with the second of four, so I'm going to start probing them for their thoughts on my particular birth plan to get a feel for whether or not we're a good fit.
My question is for any women who have given birth naturally in a hospital or just generally know how this works -- I know there are a lot of moving parts to a delivery; you have your doctor, nurses, a doula and/or midwife (maybe), and your husband, significant other, or family members. I keep hearing that the OB really only pops in to catch the baby (and this might be false, but it's what I'm hearing), and everything leading up to that is handled by nurses and staff. So if this is true, who is more important to have on your side and advocate for you and your natural birth? The hospital's nursing staff? The OB? Your partner and/or birthing coach? I assume I will be pretty occupied with laboring and won't want to deal with bureaucracy in addition to contractions, so who was your biggest advocate when you were giving birth? Who would you say contributed most to the success of your natural birth? Because if any one of these four doctors I'm seeing rubs me the wrong way or seems too quick to intervene with medical procedures, I want to know how concerned I should be or if it's more important that I get other people on board with my wishes.
I hope that makes sense! Thanks in advance for your advice and answers.
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Re: Who was your biggest advocate in the delivery room?
My doula was probably the most useful. She's been at lots of births. DH had only been at the one. She also allowed us to labour at home longer, so we were subject to hospital rules and environment less. For a hospital birth with a doctor, I think a doula is a good choice whatever the reputation of the hospital.
DH was good, but mostly because the doula told him how to be good.
The nurse wasn't really useful in any way. She kept wanting me to move so she could more easily get the monitor on. That's my entire recollection of her. To be fair, I arrived at 10 cm ready to push so I didn't exactly need support from the nurses and didn't have time to ask for a nurse that was into natural birth.
My doctor was great in that she was patient and let me push for about 2 hours. Without her support, it wouldn't have happened. Not really that she did anything magic, just that she believed I could do it and let me do it.
A doula isn't allowed to make medical decisions for you, but she can keep your husband well informed and remind him what your wishes are.
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I had DS1 in a hospital. I only had my husband, two nurses (one at a time- I was there for shift change) and the doctor present during my labour/birth. My husband and the first nurse were the most supportive. I barely saw the doctor (which was good, because I was seeing a group practice and the doctor who was on duty that day was the one doctor I hated with a passion). The hospital I delivered at was pretty natural-birth friendly, at least compared to some of the stories I've heard on these boards. When I arrived at the hospital the nurse checked me to make sure I was at least 4cm dilated (they would have sent me home if I wasn't). I was, and they hooked me up to the monitor for the first and last time during my labour. I only stayed on it for a short time because I kept thrashing around when a contraction hit so they gave up. The doctor came in to say hi during that time. After that, the nurse encouraged me to continue going drug-free (I was already suggesting getting the meds) and got me into the shower on a birth ball. That helped immensely. Over the next eight hours, she only checked on me periodically, monitoring baby with a doppler. My husband and I were alone for the most part, which is what I wanted. Sometime shortly before I started pushing I switched nurses, and I wish I hadn't, the first nurse was more supportive. After a few hours of pushing, the nurse called the doctor to come and check on me, as baby wasn't descending. He tried (unsuccessfully) to reposition the baby into a better position (he was OP with brow presentation), then recommended a c-section, which I agreed to.
No interventions were really pushed on me, and the only thing I really wanted to argue against but didn't have the strength to was the pushing position they forced me into. No one suggested an IV, or fetal monitoring (aside from periodic use of the doppler), or some of the other interventions I see routinely recommended on these boards. I guess some would consider the c-section as a pretty major intervention, but by that point I really felt that my baby wasn't coming out without some major help- something in me was telling me that I was in trouble. I readily agreed to the c-section and haven't regretted that for a second (although I have wondered if another position would have been more effective in moving him down). I never felt the need for a doula, although some support in helping me to change positions when pushing would have been appreciated, in retrospect.
That being said, I've heard of many stories of hospitals that are not as natural birth friendly, and in those cases a doula probably would be a great help. I would argue that all are important in contributing to a natural birth, and a doula might be invaluable in helping to get reluctant team members on board with a natural birth.
I had a low intervention birth (no pain meds) at a hospital with an OB. I felt very supported by everyone involved in my delivery (other than the stupid first nurse who completely botched my IV stick for the GBS antibiotics ). My husband was most helpful in the first stage, especially early with back rubs and walks. The second nurse was awesome and a big help later in my first stage. She also stayed with me and supported me with my OB through pushing. In my case, the OB did not just show up to catch the baby but stayed with me for most of the 3 hours or so I pushed.
Overall, for me, it was most important to choose an OB/MW practice that I felt wonderfully comfortable with from the start. After that, make sure that you and your partner are educated and on the same page.
By far it has always been my husband this time far more then with the past labors.
* all four were epi free hospital births
Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
My doula, I would say.
She had experience with MANY births at the hospital I was birthing at (she visited the head of L&D after my birth just to chat), so she knew all the "rules" and could prepare me for what to expect, etc.
My H was also awesome and totally my advocate. He was very educated in what to expect and I very clearly remember after my LO was born him saying things to the MW like, "she'd like to wait on stage 3 pitocin to see if it's necessary!" and "we'd like the cord to pulse as long as possible!" It was all in my birth plan, and my MW was great and super supportive, so she just nodded and said, "of course" so he probably didn't need to be so on top of things...but it meant a lot to me that he remembered those things and really did have my back for what I wanted.
What you're hearing about the OB (or, in my case the MW) only showing up for the birth/to catch the baby is exactly what my experience was. The MW checked me in triage, then went to deliver a few more babies, then came back when I was 10 cm and caught ours. I still adore her though, despite our very brief encounter. Something special about her whole attitude towards me, and her catching him (and, she called me a month post partum just to check on how mommy hood was going...she rocks).
Anyway, GL!
My GP was great. Mother of 4 herself, made good suggestions about positions and such.
I remember getting pumped when she finally came in the room wearing scrubs. I figured the end must be near! (and it was)
I think having an OB or MW that is NB friendly is actually the most important part. They're the ones who decide when to induce (if needed) and that can alter your plans for a NB since having pit gives you a 50% chance of ending in a Cs.. And they can also drastically change your birth plan by simply saying that your baby is in danger if you're "taking too long", kwim?
In the hospital, my Dh was the biggest support. I didn't hire a doula (but plan to next time!) My nurse was great, but she didn't offer me any other positions or support other than reminding me that a NB was what I wanted. I allowed our moms in for a short time but had to kick them out bc my mil kept repeating how excited she was and I just couldn't take it any more
GL mama
I always say my husband is the reason I'm able to get through labor and delivery. He knows what I need, he reminds me of what I want and he speaks for me when I cant speak for myself.
We had a nurse during L&D with DS1 that kept asking me if I was sure I didnt want an epidural. She asked during transition and I said yes. She said "Are you sure?" and I wanted to throttle her. I looked at my husband and said "I cant make this decision right now" and he got into my line of sight better and reminded me of why I didnt want the epi and that by now it was probably too late anyway. He was right and DS1 was out within the hour.
That said, he's never had to go toe to toe with a doctor, my L&D experience has always been fast and trouble free. But when it comes down to it, I know he would put himself between the doctor and I if they were pushing something he knew I didnt want or wasnt necessary.
Thank you so much for all of your input! I'm starting to get a feel for what labor and delivery might look like in a hospital setting. Your stories are a great starting point for coming up with some questions to ask both the hospital staff when I go up there soon for a tour and to my OBs when we have our meet-and-greet appointments.
You ladies rock!
I couldn't have done it without DH....and it would have been a lot harder without my MW's there to coach me (had a hospital birth with CNMs who were ok'd to deliver at the hospital as well as at their own practice). Having the head midwife there was probably the best because once transition hit, DH was terrified (I was screaming) and the MW was there to help me pull myself together and push LO out.
Other than that, the staff pretty much stayed out of my room, TBH. I just needed them there for transition and pushing.
My doula, hands down. My DH was pretty much useless. Love him, but this isn't his thing--he sat in the corner rather panicky about it all, especially when it got nasty and I was screaming from the pain for an hour and a half, thrashing around on the bed.
Excited yet??
It is an awesome experience, regardless of what happens. I had a EPI free birth but did have an injection of stadol at one point, which my doula was pretty much recommending at that point to alleviate the pain long enough to make some more progress.
Oh and the nursing staff was useless. I'd say in fact that they were detrimental. My son was sunny side up and it wasn't until my doula showed up that anyone understood why I was having cluster contractions and was in so much pain without any progress. Doula was AMAZING. As soon as she showed up, she had me doing crazy yoga poses to get the baby flipped, we did it finally, and I went from a 1 to crowning in about an hour and a half. We're having her again even though I'm having twins and will probably end up with a hugely medical birth this time around.
And at any hospital, there will be nurses who are more natural birth friendly, and those who are not. It'll be random who you get. Mine were resistent to giving me a hep lock and not giving me an IV, even though my Dr. sat there and ordered it, they questioned it after she left the room.