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October 2012 Moms
CP0979
member
Dh driving me nuts
CP0979
member
So when dh and I originally discussed finding out the gender, we both originally really wanted to know. When we were at the first tri screening I started thinking, ya know, I'm not sure I want to find out. Then I was watching one born every minute and when the woman delivered and they told her it was a boy/girl (can't remember) i was just like awwww, I really want that then too! Not that I won't be ecstatic enough but its even more exciting, especially since I don't really care which it is.
So I bring it up to dh tonite and he gets all huffy and puffy bout it, it's stupid to wait, y would u do that, what about painting etc. I haven't even officially decided which way I want to go but I wanted him to be open minded about it at least. Then he was like well it's not like my opinion matters so let me know what u decide. WTH? Why I am talking to u about his then. Oh then he blamed my sister like, did ur sis talk u out of it (when in reality my sis desperately wants me to find out.) dh's mom also wants to know I think.
I know dh and I's opinions are the only ones that matter but with his opinion being the same as other family members, it's hard for me to decide either way. I feel there Are pros and cons to both, either way it's a surprise etc, but it was just bugging me. Vent over...
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Re: Dh driving me nuts
Well, tbh, what I'm guessing he's feeling is a little scared. He thought he could at least be prepared in one way and you kind of scared him that it wouldn't happen! I know he should have at least discussed it with you, but my guess is that he feels like you get to make all the decisions since it is your pregnancy and he feels left out about this one. He probably thinks that finding out the gender was one way he could feel control over his situation and give him a "job" to do (prepare the room, which is what he brought up first, haha)
Can I be honest though? I might give him this one. I think it will really help him bond with your belly if he knows it's a boy or girl. And you know what? They say that boy or girl thing no matter what, haha. And then you get to see the face of the baby and THAT'S the wonderful surprise!
This. Well said!:)
This. Well said!:)
i think jillybean had some really nice insights.
i would like to add that i think it is completely reasonable for you to expect to be able to talk to your husband about feelings like these. Obviously you value his opinion and feelings since you asked him but sometimes it's helpful to come out and say it flat out." I'm talking to you about this because i want you to know how im feeling and i want to know how you're feeling too " Saying something like that can lay the foundation for a production conversation instead of the other person taking it as an argument or something, just my experience.
U sound like a wise woman! After reading ur post I have to prob agree my dh def thinks we are going to have a girl and he's scared to have a girl. I think I actually recall him saying he would need to mentally prepare! I think he's pretty excited too which is nice. He can just be really stubborn sometimes in not hearing out other peoples viewpoints (he's always right) lol!
Thanks for the advice ladies. Well prob find out I guess. I'll pick my battles, now about the name I want dear... ; )
Here's an idea for you: My DH and I have some friends where the husband wanted to find out the gender and the wife didn't - so that's exactly what they did! The husband found out and was sworn to secrecy by the wife. It made it really fun for them actually! And the wife said it really helps her when pushing NOT to know the gender because it gives her more motivation to get that baby out so she can know (and that in itself helped the husband not to tell her)! Just a thought for you!