Faith and Infertility (long)

ChrisH22 · April 2012

I am a Christian. However, in going down this road of infertility for almost 6 years now, it's hard to not be questioning things and losing faith in a lot of things. When we first started people always told me we just needed to pray about it and be patient, it's God's time not yours, maybe God thinks you're not ready, just keep praying honey he answers prayers, and blah blah blah.

Well my issue is this. If it is not God's will for me to be a mother, then I can pray about it for the next 6 years and it still won't happen. And if it is then it should happen whether I'm praying or not or whether I'm spending THOUSANDS of dollars on fertility treatment?? I'm struggling with the whole God's will thing that people ALWAYS seem to quote to me. I see girls/women everyday pregnant who didn't want nor do they NEED to have a baby, yet there they are, pregnant on accident, some for the second and even third time. Turn on the TV and there's a woman who's abusing her child, there was a woman on the local news here about 2wks ago who took a knife and cut her 2 yrs old throat. But it was God's will for HER to be a mother??? I come here and there are so many women who want nothing more in this world than to be a mother. They've devoted time, resources, and given everything to see that dream happen and still nothing.

When I lost my father 4 years ago, I prayed and prayed and prayed for him to be healed, it didn't happen, and when he died people told me it was God's will and all a part of God's perfect plan. If that's the case what are we praying for??? I understand that bad things happen to good people and some horrible people seem to get blessed abundantly but right now, at this moment, it's really hard for me to swallow. It all seems so incredibly unfair.

Just wonder where the rest of you ladies stand with your faith during your infertility journey.

Blueyed228 · April 2012

I dont expect God to cure my infertility. I just look to my faith for support and hope.

brookelynpaisley · April 2012

I'm not Christian, but I just wanted to give you a hug. Questioning faith for whatever reason is difficult, and I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.

That said, I never believed, despite being raised Catholic. I just never felt it, plain and simple. Any question I did have lingering about my faith went away when IF entered our lives. I guess I've decided that if any God out there decided that crack heads and 16-year-olds should have children and I (or any of these amazing ladies, for that matter) shouldn't, I don't want any part of Him.

I hope you find peace.

Jezebell26 · April 2012

Im along the lines of Blueeyed....I dont think God can cure my infertility nor am I asking him to. I am asking him to make me successful at being pregnant and a mom. I havent been on this journey as long as you and I am not that religious. But I have turned to prayer. I have lost some of my faith along the way. I dont believe that "its not my time". Why not? But it was the 16 year olds time? Or the people who have kids already and have no jobs and no room or money for a baby? Its the crackhead's time? Its Snookie's time? But its not my time????!!!!! Im not sure I believe that.

What I do beleive is this WILL happen for me and for you. I recently took a trip to a famous church in our area that is the national shrine for St. Gerard. I went to a special mass, got blessed with a relic of St. Gerard, lit a candle, kissed the shrine, pinned money on his statue, walked in the gardens and touched every statue I could. Whatever I could do in this church, I did. I have made many changes in my life and I hope that I am blessed with children soon. I will start the novena to St. Gerard during stimming like I did for IVF #1.

It is so hard to believe that there is a plan for us and that this is or isn't our time. All I can say is stay strong, keep the faith and don't give up. HUGS

Ccjones85 · April 2012

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, I can definitively relate.

DH and I are both Christians and after many things we have been through these past couple of years we have really begun to question things. DH has Crohns Disease, dealt with cancer, my families business closed(I lost my job), my niece was born with CF and now dealing with IF. I find myself asking God what have we done to deserve all this? DH has really struggled and has gone as far as saying God must not exist because he is denying us the single most thing we want.

I still continue to pray for comfort and acceptance with wherever our IF journey takes us. I hope that you can come to some comfort with your faith and dealing with IF.

Best of luck with everything!!

steff13914 · April 2012

Hope it's ok for me to respond.. (siggy warning)

I think it's normal for all Christians to get angry with God during struggles like this, and I've been there too. It's hard to want something that is coming from a good place so bad and not feel like your prayers are being answered. It's also hard to hear that it will happen in God's time, cause it would be nice to know when that time is, right? What you have to learn to do is just give this to God. It's not your battle to fight, it's His. When you are feeling angry at Him, tell Him. I truly believe that God blesses those who seek Him. We go through times like this in our lives to bring us closer in our relationship with God. He wants to hear your desires, frustrations and questions, and trust me you will feel better if you just get it all out.

We recently went through IVF, and before we began our cycle, I reached out for prayer at church. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. We had only just met these people after beginning to attend for a couple of months. I found out one of my pastors struggled with secondary infertility. They've been so understnading and kind to us, and it was a blessing to have them in our corner. Our IVF failed. I again reached out for prayer because we were angry and questioning things. The night before our frozen embryo transfer, we went to a meeting and had the elders of the church pray over us. It was so comforting and really put us at peace. So far it looks as if the FET was successful, and I owe it all to God. I felt so calm and at peace about our situation going into this last attempt thanks to all the prayers, and I believe that helped. It's physically and mentally exhausting to go through every day with anger and hurt and all the emotions that come with infertility. Let God heal your heart, and ask him to strengthen your relationship with Him. He wants to hear that prayer from all of us.

Our God is so good, and I hope you can find peace soon. In the meantime, I would recommend a book that a friend of mine suggested to me. It's called Hannah's Hope, and it's written by a christian woman dealing with infertility. She correlates all the emotions we feel with stories from the Bible about women who dealt with infertility. One was Hannah, and her story will inspire you. Wishing you all the best.

amd1982 · April 2012

I posted earlier in the day about this - I saw an article about an abusive mother who starved her childand she subsequently died, and it enraged me. I've had similar feelings to what you're going through - I was never extremely religious, but my family went to church and I went to Sunday school every week, so I guess you can say we were practicing Christians. I've moved away from that school of thought - I try to keep some kind of faith in a higher power, and at the very least I do believe in karma and being a good person to others. But in terms of IF, I feel like we unfortunately are fighting this battle without any kind of "God" or religion to back us up.

Native+Girl · April 2012

I think it's perfectly natural to struggle with your faith when faced with hardships such as IF. There's nothing wrong with it. I've asked some of the same questions that you have, but unfortunately I still don't have all the answers. I doubt I ever will.

I don't think IF is a curse from God anymore than cancer is or losing a child or loved one. Bad things happen in this world. There isn't always some divine reasoning, at least none that makes sense to us, and it's rarely ever fair. We all have struggles. What makes me so special that I shouldn't be the one going through IF?

My grandpa had a heart transplant at the age of 75. The person who's heart he got was a 31 year old man who died in a motorcycle accident. Did God think that my grandpa was that much better and more deserving of life than that man? No, I don't think so, and I know the man's wife and family probably didn't feel that way either. Does God think the mom who would murder her kid is more deserving than any of us who are so desperate for one of our own? I don't believe He does.

In addition to PP's suggestion to read Hannah's Hope, I suggest trying out the site Sarah's Laughter and signing up for the Daily Double Portions. It's daily Christian-based emails relating to infertility. I love reading them and a lot of them have really captured how I've felt at some point in time along this journey. Best of luck to you!

vpine · April 2012

Right now I feel that if I don't conceive on my own, I will not go down IVF journey, if God wants me to get preg I will and at the time he decides is right. I used to think I would do IVF after trying for a year but when the year came and all our testing was favorable, RE gave us option to TTC on our own or IUI/IVF, we are choosing to continue on our own. I've had comments made to me that God wouldn't allow advances in medicine such as IVF if he didn't want women to go that route, etc. But this is what we decided and our own personal choice. We still pray because we believe God will put what's right for us in our path, I always think that what if I do IVF in May for example but if I had waited, I would have gotten pregnant on my own in June, etc. Maybe there's a reason for the month, the day, the second the baby should be born.

If we had an issue such as DH's sperm, maybe our decision would be different but since we were told nothing's wrong or preventing conception, we plan to continue trying on our own, God will bless us with a child or not but we will continue to pray. I used to pray for a baby, now I pray that HE gives us a child or strength to accept it if HE doesn't.

ChrisH22 · April 2012

steff13914:

I would recommend a book that a friend of mine suggested to me. It's called Hannah's Hope, and it's written by a christian woman dealing with infertility. She correlates all the emotions we feel with stories from the Bible about women who dealt with infertility. One was Hannah, and her story will inspire you. Wishing you all the best.

Thank you for this, I definitley plan on trying to find that. And good luck with your FET!!

ChrisH22 · April 2012

Native+Girl:

In addition to PP's suggestion to read Hannah's Hope, I suggest trying out the site Sarah's Laughter and signing up for the Daily Double Portions. It's daily Christian-based emails relating to infertility. I love reading them and a lot of them have really captured how I've felt at some point in time along this journey. Best of luck to you!

Had never heard of it, going to look it up now.

ChrisH22 · April 2012

So good to see some of the responses here and know that I am not alone. Thank you ladies.

Thankful1000 · April 2012

I am a Christian also and I have heard some really great sermons on the will of God that really gave me a better understanding of it (not that I know everything, but it helped!). The question is.... what IS God's will for our lives? To answer that, we have to go to God's word. And when we look up the places in the Bible where it talks about God's will for us, we come up with this....

Ephisian 5:18
1 The 5:18
1 Tim 2: 3-4
1 Thes 4:3
1 Peter 3:17
1 Peter 2:20
1 Peter 13:15
Hebrews 13:17

This is what we find is God's will:

He desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth

He wants us to be Spirit Filled

He wants us to be Sanctified

He wants us to Submit (to the Law, to overseers)

He wants us to Suffer (for the cause of Christ)

He wants us to Be Thankful for all of the above.

The bible doesn't say anywhere that it is His will that all women have children or even that women who will be good mothers will have children. We can't put words in God's mouth like that. We also can't EXPECT that we will be blessed in one way or another way, but we just have to trust God that he knows what he is doing with our lives.

For all things work together for good to those who are in Christ Jesus.

I have been married 2 years and have been trying to get pregnant, but in all of 2 years we haven't had one success. Meanwhile people around me are popping out babies left and right. I will admit that sometimes it is hard, but I am trusting God and through this trial I am holding on to Him closely and just waiting to see what plan he has for me. Whether I learn to have more faith, patience, perseverance, or whether God has some other ministry for me other than motherhood, I hope that I can choose to continue living in his Will and being thankful for it.

Thankful1000 · April 2012

Jezebell26:
Im along the lines of Blueeyed....I dont think God can cure my infertility nor am I asking him to. I am asking him to make me successful at being pregnant and a mom. I havent been on this journey as long as you and I am not that religious. But I have turned to prayer. I have lost some of my faith along the way. I dont believe that "its not my time". Why not? But it was the 16 year olds time? Or the people who have kids already and have no jobs and no room or money for a baby? Its the crackhead's time? Its Snookie's time? But its not my time????!!!!! Im not sure I believe that.

What I do beleive is this WILL happen for me and for you. I recently took a trip to a famous church in our area that is the national shrine for St. Gerard. I went to a special mass, got blessed with a relic of St. Gerard, lit a candle, kissed the shrine, pinned money on his statue, walked in the gardens and touched every statue I could. Whatever I could do in this church, I did. I have made many changes in my life and I hope that I am blessed with children soon. I will start the novena to St. Gerard during stimming like I did for IVF #1.

It is so hard to believe that there is a plan for us and that this is or isn't our time. All I can say is stay strong, keep the faith and don't give up. HUGS

If you believe in the God of the Bible, then you will believe that God can do anything.

matthewsbride05 · April 2012

I subscribed to Sarah's Laughter, and I suggest it. (google it to get on the list for emails for encouragement as you go through this infertility journey) Everyone has different experiences and crosses to bear. I believe God is with us through this very difficult journey...There have been times (many) when I've felt sad, angry, and hopeless, but I believe that God loves me through all this. I hope you find some peace during this extremely tough road.

Temp423319000008365 · April 2012

I consider myself to be a very strong Christian and I struggle with these issues all the time. I wrestle with anger and doubt and wondering why I can't be a mom, but all these other women who don't even like their kids get to be mothers. I'll be the first to admit that none of it makes sense.

But I do know this, at the end of the day, God is good and He is bigger than my infertility. He's bigger than my RE and medications and what I think is best for my life. His ways are not my own. I may not understand it all the time, but I do try my best to trust that He knows what He's doing.

I also highly recommend getting the emails from Sarah's Laughter. I have found many of them to be so inspiring and comforting!

Blueyed228 · April 2012

Thankful1000:
Jezebell26:

Im along the lines of Blueeyed....I dont think God can cure my infertility nor am I asking him to. I am asking him to make me successful at being pregnant and a mom. I havent been on this journey as long as you and I am not that religious. But I have turned to prayer. I have lost some of my faith along the way. I dont believe that "its not my time". Why not? But it was the 16 year olds time? Or the people who have kids already and have no jobs and no room or money for a baby? Its the crackhead's time? Its Snookie's time? But its not my time????!!!!! Im not sure I believe that.

What I do beleive is this WILL happen for me and for you. I recently took a trip to a famous church in our area that is the national shrine for St. Gerard. I went to a special mass, got blessed with a relic of St. Gerard, lit a candle, kissed the shrine, pinned money on his statue, walked in the gardens and touched every statue I could. Whatever I could do in this church, I did. I have made many changes in my life and I hope that I am blessed with children soon. I will start the novena to St. Gerard during stimming like I did for IVF #1.

It is so hard to believe that there is a plan for us and that this is or isn't our time. All I can say is stay strong, keep the faith and don't give up. HUGS

If you believe in the God of the Bible, then you will believe that God can do anything.

Im sorry, but this is just really preachy. I dont think she needs you to tell her what she does or doesnt believe.

Litgirl77 · April 2012

I am a Christian, and like many of you have described, this is a faith testing/breaking experience, to say the least. I have good days, and I have bad days, and I trust that God is big enough to handle my anger and my doubt. But I still believe there is a loving God and that there are things I can't and won't understand on this side of heaven.

We live in an imperfect world and there is nothing fair about the stories I read on this board every day. So I have to believe there will be a day when this world and all the crud we go through (IF or otherwise) will be redeemed.

Maybe God's will for my life is not to have the family that I picture in my mind. Maybe I'm going to be a family with my husband, and my heart will break as I watch all of my friends have children. I'm trying to see it as my responsibility to take that hunger for a child and use it for something good. Adoption? Maybe... Being a better wife, aunt, and teacher? I certainly hope so.

When I can't bear to open my Bible because I'm so angry at God, I've been listening to a few Christian artists whose songs speak to what I'm trying to remember - usually with tears streaming down my face. One is Laura Story (whose song Blessings was written during her struggle with cancer) and the other is Sara Groves. I leave you with a few words from her song Open My Hands:

"I believe in a blessing I don't understand. I've seen rain fall on the wicked and the just. Rain is no measure of his faithfulness. He withholds no good thing from us. I will open my hands, will open my heart. I am nodding my head in an emphatic yes to all that you have for me."

Thank you for your honesty and openness ladies. You are a blessing in my life as I get through this struggle.

Excitedtostart · April 2012

Part of me believes that God and Science are compatible and synergistic. I don't know if God "gave" us science, but if God gave us our brains I like to think that he wants us to use them. I believe in evolution, and I'm not very religious, but I am very spiritual. So I think that when faced with IF, God would be okay with us using whatever means were available to us to achieve our family. I also believe in stem cell research, etc, so my views are a little complicated.

I also think that ethical debate helps us grow intellectually and philosophically, and so having national discussions on the matter is good in the long run - although quite frankly it frustrates the crap out of me and the current political landscape has me fearful of my rights and what that may mean in the near future.

When it comes to the "Why Me" aspect, and I don't mean that insultingly, I do believe that there is some sort of cosmic purpose for things. I don't understand it, but maybe I'm not meant to. And sometimes I think that the reason or purpose doesn't have much to do with me in general, that it's more removed than that. For instance, if 30 years from now IF was so common that we made pretty spectacular advances in science and biology and medicine that we discovered other things - like how to make a working pancreas - then we would not only be helping IF, but type 1 diabetes as well. So in that sense, there's no point to ME personally having IF, but I'm part of a growing group of couples who suffer from it.

Kind of like Polio, we never would have found a cure if it hadn't affected quite so many people. And famous people.

It's hard to struggle with your faith. I've had struggles with religion for years. God I'm good with, it's religion I have a hard time with.

kleigh926 · April 2012

A lot of the other advice has been very good, but I'll just add that I'm a Christian too and I believe in the sovereignty of God. Like someone else said, his ways are above ours. There are things in this life that we will not understand. I guess it just comes down to trusting that God knows what he's doing and praying for peace and the ability to accept whatever his will is for our lives.

whoberry · April 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this. I was raised catholic but think of myself as agnostic. I recently read Every Drunken Cheerleader, Why Not Me (which I didn't think was written very well) but it did get me thinking. The author was Christian and she brought up religion (a little more than I cared for) but I could tell it was something that really helped her deal with IF. I was even a little jealous that she had religion/faith to fall back on and take comfort in and I didn't. I hope you are able to find some peace with your struggle.

ChrisH22 · April 2012

I guess my issue is more so the purpose of prayer. I know that His time is not our time. And I know that life is not going to be perfect and golden, there are going to be struggles. I know who he is and I know He can do all things. BUT if these things are according to His will and His time why do we pray? I don't mean to sound like I'm just oh "why me". I know and understand that people go through all kinds of struggles.

Two days ago my 12yr old niece was hit by a car. She rolled on top and cracked the front windshield before landing on the ground in front of the car. She was unconscious at the scene and they rushed her to the hospital. She woke up in the ambulance talking, wondering what was going on, when I got to te hospital she was laughing and talking, not ONE scratch on her. I believe this was all God. But it didnt happen because we prayed for her to be okay. It happened because it was His will for her to be okay. I guess right now at this moment what I'm really losing faith in is the power of prayer.

CousinVicki · April 2012

Thankful1000:

If you believe in the God of the Bible, then you will believe that God can do anything.

oh FFS, clearly this isn't the case. i am agnostic, but i think if you want to use your faith to garner support during a hard time, then of course this makes sense. but to use it to actually "make" something happen, cure cancer or infertility??? this just makes me sad that religion (read: super christians) skews so many peoples views.

sigh

ChrisH22 · April 2012

CousinVicki:
Thankful1000:

If you believe in the God of the Bible, then you will believe that God can do anything.

oh FFS, clearly this isn't the case. i am agnostic, but i think if you want to use your faith to garner support during a hard time, then of course this makes sense. but to use it to actually "make" something happen, cure cancer or infertility??? this just makes me sad that religion (read: super christians) skews so many peoples views.

sigh

So interesting that you felt the need to comment on this. I'm Really NOT having the type of day to want to deal with anybody's judgements and snarky comments. The question was about women and their FAITH, The title is FAITH and infertility. There are other people here who have posted but do not believe the same that I do, BUT had something to say WORTH sharing. For YOU, however, that is NOT the case. PLEASE do me a favor and just click right over my post.

kleigh926 · April 2012

ChrisH22:
I guess my issue is more so the purpose of prayer. I know that His time is not our time. And I know that life is not going to be perfect and golden, there are going to be struggles. I know who he is and I know He can do all things. BUT if these things are according to His will and His time why do we pray? I don't mean to sound like I'm just oh "why me". I know and understand that people go through all kinds of struggles.
Two days ago my 12yr old niece was hit by a car. She rolled on top and cracked the front windshield before landing on the ground in front of the car. She was unconscious at the scene and they rushed her to the hospital. She woke up in the ambulance talking, wondering what was going on, when I got to te hospital she was laughing and talking, not ONE scratch on her. I believe this was all God. But it didnt happen because we prayed for her to be okay. It happened because it was His wil for her to be okay. I guess right now at this moment what I'm really losting faith in is the power of prayer.

I've asked myself that question too: Why do we pray? I think I found a good answer to it that I can't remember right now (that's bad, I know) but here's what I can say. First of all, the Bible commands us to pray. And second, prayer strengthens our relationship with God. Prayer isn't just communication from us to God- it can be communication from God to us too.

Native+Girl · April 2012

ChrisH22:
I guess my issue is more so the purpose of prayer. I know that His time is not our time. And I know that life is not going to be perfect and golden, there are going to be struggles. I know who he is and I know He can do all things. BUT if these things are according to His will and His time why do we pray? I don't mean to sound like I'm just oh "why me". I know and understand that people go through all kinds of struggles.
Two days ago my 12yr old niece was hit by a car. She rolled on top and cracked the front windshield before landing on the ground in front of the car. She was unconscious at the scene and they rushed her to the hospital. She woke up in the ambulance talking, wondering what was going on, when I got to te hospital she was laughing and talking, not ONE scratch on her. I believe this was all God. But it didnt happen because we prayed for her to be okay. It happened because it was His wil for her to be okay. I guess right now at this moment what I'm really losting faith in is the power of prayer.

I've struggled with this like crazy too. If God already knows how it's all going to end, what's the point in prayer? My old youth pastor and his wife would go back and forth on this topic and it was very interesting to just sit and listen to them debate.

I found this link that has a lot of good tips and opened my eyes to why I should pray and what I should and shouldn't "expect" out of it. Sorry if it's not clicky...I'm on my iPad.

https://www.intervarsity.org/studentsoul/item/why-pray

ChrisH22 · April 2012

Thank you for the link. Reading it was really helpful, gave me some things to really think about and read up on.

mrsjollybrown · April 2012

I'm grateful for this post. My husband kept telling me I couldn't be mad at God. I told him I could. My best friend is 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. It's been through the grace of God that I can remain excited and happy for her.

Initally I kept thinking I don't understand why her life was so easy and mine is not but at the end of the day each person has thier own battles and it's not for me to understand. I need to focus on giving God the glory and maybe I will get what I want.

Shoshie · April 2012

:Jewish voice entering:

As I learned in "Miracle on 34th Street" -- faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.

Years ago common sense would have told most of us to stop trying...I think faith (whatever that faith is) has allowed many of us to seek help - in various ways.

My mother is in Israel right now.

There is a belief that because Rachel (Joseph's mother) was childless for many years before she was granted children, women who are suffering from infertility travel to Rachel's tomb to pray.

My mom is praying there for me.

Will it work? Who knows.... my "faith" would tell me to hope so. Big Smile

ycristina84 · April 2012

It is extremely hard to keep faith and believe in anything at times. I'm not even sure where I stand. I am very spiritual, but the God that some people imagine is just not my God.To me, to say that if you are meant to be pregnant God will make it happen if you are doing fertility treatments or not is a strange thing to believe.You wouldn't tell a cancer patient to wait and see what God does and forgo treatment. Cancer patients need treatment. IF comes in different forms and illnesses and they have cures. It's not like infertility is imagined. You can't simply ignore treatment and think God is going to magically cure you of an illness HE gave you. (If you believe in that)

No matter how much God loves me, or I pray, my stage 4 endometriosis would have NEVER allowed me to get pregnant. EVER. I needed surgery, and I now need IVF for me to even have a chance. I just don't think that you can deny that we need science and can't solely rely on some entity. If God exists, he gave us free will to make the decisions that are best for us, he gave us a brain to think for ourselves (and realize that sometimes you need help. Yes, medical too), and he gave us strength so we can make it through the tough times.

I will say, that I have to believe that there is SOMETHING better than this on the other side, that there is love for me in the universe that doesn't want me to suffer lie this. I try not to judge the snookies and the teen moms.. Everyone is on their one journey, and theirs isn't affecting if and when I get pregnant. It hurts that others get their happy endings and I don't, but I know that I will get my family one day. IVF, adoption...I will get there. Maybe with God's help, but it's not going to happen by just sitting on my bum and praying. You have to ACT.

kleigh926 · April 2012

ycristina84:
It is extremely hard to keep faith and believe in anything at times. I'm not even sure where I stand. I am very spiritual, but the God that some people imagine is just not my God.To me, to say that if you are meant to be pregnant God will make it happen if you are doing fertility treatments or not is a strange thing to believe.You wouldn't tell a cancer patient to wait and see what God does and forgo treatment. Cancer patients need treatment. IF comes in different forms and illnesses and they have cures. It's not like infertility is imagined. You can't simply ignore treatment and think God is going to magically cure you of an illness HE gave you. (If you believe in that)
No matter how much God loves me, or I pray, my stage 4 endometriosis would have NEVER allowed me to get pregnant. EVER. I needed surgery, and I now need IVF for me to even have a chance. I just don't think that you can deny that we need science and can't solely rely on some entity. If God exists, he gave us free will to make the decisions that are best for us, he gave us a brain to think for ourselves (and realize that sometimes you need help. Yes, medical too), and he gave us strength so we can make it through the tough times.
I will say, that I have to believe that there is SOMETHING better than this on the other side, that there is love for me in the universe that doesn't want me to suffer lie this. I try not to judge the snookies and the teen moms.. Everyone is on their one journey, and theirs isn't affecting if and when I get pregnant. It hurts that others get their happy endings and I don't, but I know that I will get my family one day. IVF, adoption...I will get there. Maybe with God's help, but it's not going to happen by just sitting on my bum and praying. You have to ACT.

I agree with this to a certain extent. I certainly believe that if there are ways to treat an illness/disease, we should use them to the extent that we feel comfortable. I don't believe there's anything wrong with that at all. It kind of goes back to the saying, "God helps those who help themselves." But, just because there are ways for us to act, that doesn't mean we should stop praying.

MandaS08 · April 2012

I don't look at prayer as asking God for something and expecting him to give it to you. I feel like its more a time to communicate with him-and be open to whatever answer you get. To me, the purpose of prayer is to open myself to him, and let him know what is in my heart-of course I pray for my IVF to be successful, but I also pray for strength if it doesn't, and peace to trust in his plan.

Being Christian and dealing with IF is hard, sometimes its very hard to reconcile the two, but I truly feel that I need to do everything I can to pull something positive out of the struggle-and if its to be closer to God, then that is something.

crazytowne · April 2012

Rebecki1414:
But I do know this, at the end of the day, God is good and He is bigger than my infertility. He's bigger than my RE and medications and what I think is best for my life. His ways are not my own. I may not understand it all the time, but I do try my best to trust that He knows what He's doing.

This. Absolutely.

And I personally object to the saying "God helps those who help themselves." I think God helps those who CANNOT help themselves, who realize they need help and ask for it. As someone said earlier, of course I pray that I get pregnant. But I pray for strength if I can't.

kleigh926 · April 2012

crazytowne:
Rebecki1414:
But I do know this, at the end of the day, God is good and He is bigger than my infertility. He's bigger than my RE and medications and what I think is best for my life. His ways are not my own. I may not understand it all the time, but I do try my best to trust that He knows what He's doing.

This. Absolutely.

And I personally object to the saying "God helps those who help themselves." I think God helps those who CANNOT help themselves, who realize they need help and ask for it. As someone said earlier, of course I pray that I get pregnant. But I pray for strength if I can't.

I didn't mean it in that sense. I don't totally agree with that saying either, I just felt like it kind of explained what I was trying to say. But I do think it's true that if God gives us an opportunity (like, having the financial means to proceed with IF treatments) and we don't do it, then we have to accept the "consequences" of that, so to speak. IF treatments might be God's way of answering our prayers to become pregnant.

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Faith and Infertility (long)

Re: Faith and Infertility (long)

IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.

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